Done something unforgivable resulting in £207,000 debt

shadowspy24

Once you have enough money to pay your dad back, tell him that he has to take his money back immediately because you are in financial trouble and you might go bankrupt, he doesn't need to know that you gambled his money if you have it with you to give back to him. After you tell him this, he will have two choices, he will either take the money back and you will be relieved of your debt to him and will only have to deal with the banks or he will say keep it and pay the banks in which case you are doing it without fear and will pay him back over the years. Either way you need to tell him his money is at risk with you then it's his choice what he does.

BringtheStoneshome

Pete

I haven't read all of this but as far as I can make out you have nearly enough to pay your dad back. As everyone else is saying. Do that. If there is a shortfall I would risk the explosive family argument and admit to gambling with the portion of his money you can't yet pay him back (i.e. £15k or whatever). He will still be cross with you (and rightly so but not nearly as cross as if he knew you had gambled with £140k). From then on you might get some help from your father (who does, after all, have £100k plus to invest). You could get yourself a 9-5 job, ask for a loan from your dad and fix a fair interest rate with him so that he earns his interest and you make inroads into your debt but are not looking at credit card companies over your shoulder. This does all depend on the goodwill of your dad. If that is not forthcoming then do the same thing but try and get the lowest interest rates on your debts you can and just get stuck into them. It is going to take time but I have read people on here who have done it. The other day I was reading about a chap who - at his lowest point - couldn't afford the bus fare to work so used to run 7 miles each way.

Most of all kepp your chin up and keep at it. You have been unlucky with the gamble but with a little bit of ingenuity and endeavour you can get back again.

Good luck

pete456_2

Thanks guys.... yes I can pretty much pay him back now and with selling shares, small inheritance later this year I will cover all of it + the interest he deserves. I will feel a little bit better about myself then.

However that will be me cleared out but so be it.

I've looked at the SOA and really the only section worth filling in is the unsecured debt section.

Currently my only income is from share dividends at circa £4000 per annum. That's it for now and I will be selling those to pay my dad. I don't expect there to be much left.

No car... and no house any minute. In a few weeks my only expense will be a mobile phone at £45 / month which I'm tied to till October.

Loans

Egg Loan £18,000 - £396/month @ 9.51%

Cards (all pretty much maxed out)

Egg Card £8200 - £218/month @ 19.9%
Egg Money £7400 - £185/month @ 19.9%
Hsbc Visa £8700 - £214/ month @ 16.9%
M&S £4800 - £119/ month @ 15.9%
Nationwide £6200 - £173/month @ 16.9%
Lloyds £14,500 - £251/ month @ 5.9% + cash advance borrowings rate.

Total £67,800 - £1556/month

Lovely !!

metalfury

pete456 wrote: »

I can pay my dad back and just say the account has "matured"..... or I can pay it into an account in my brothers name. I've learnt my lesson but to remove any temptation it would be safer with him.

Sounds like a deeper hole to me, and these things have a way of outing themselves. At your position you need to draw a bit of a line and not make the situation worse.

I think it is important to pay your Dad back and tell him the truth, don't talk about 'matured' accounts or involve your brother. Tell him tonight and get it out the way.

• Your Father may help you out, but it's his decision what to do with his money. As you say, he may not have an immediate need for it - if you tell the truth and give him back his money he's going to be more inclined to help.
• I think it would do you good to get it off your chest with your father and get some support. Your situation must be very stressfull.
• No disrespect, but I think it would be best that you don't have access to that money. If it is physically out of your control there's less temptation.

Some of the posts have some great advice, follow it - for me, RedPete's post on page 1 nails it.

Good news on the upcoming bar work. How 'upcoming' is it? If you've got six weeks before you're homeless maybe you need to look for something else in the meantime?

Keep positive!

Percy1983

So you could say to your dad that you still have his money but you are in serious financial trouble due the failed business, its then his choice to take the money back or let you use some of it to stop you going under in the short term.

I have no idea how your relationship is, but I dount he would want you homeless.

From the sound of it you have made a geniune (but stupid) mistake, but you could have let it go on longer and lost the lot.

You could be honest and say you thought it would recover so you used some of his money.

It all depends of the relationship you have with you dad really.

pete456_2

Thanks everyone,

I have/ will have all his money so he doesn't need to know it went missing for a while. It would cause him stress and his wife (my stepmother) would kick up a fuss and he doesn't need that.

I will ask him what he wants to do with it but yes, I will get it out of my name and hands. I clearly can't handle the responsibility.

Butti

redpete wrote: »

BTW - anything I suggested about transferring the money back to your father takes no account of how this would be seen should you go down the bankruptcy route. But I suspect it will be easier to argue the case if you do so as soon as possible.

Redpete,

He has to give the money back to his father first, and before he goes bankrupt....infact right now would be good. As others have said, once bankrupt he is not allowed to have 'preferential creditors' so his dad would be in a queue with everyone else.

Plus once the legal bods have got their hands on it there is generally a lot less left for any creditor.

B

pete456_2

From what I've heard here, I'd have to wait 2 years to go bankrupt after paying back my dad, otherwise they'd pinch it back off him and split between the creditors.

I think that's right from what I've read.

metalfury

At 1.5K a month it may be worth looking into shifting the credit card debts around a little. Look at some 0% balance transfer deals or low life of balance deals. I don't know how much bar work pays, but you'd be doing well if you get over 1.5K take home a month?

Does your phone contract end in October - as you can often renegotiate a few months earlier. I'm on around £17 a month with a reasonable phone, 200 mins and limitless texts. Could probably get less with a more basic phone?

Would be worth going through the whole SOA process as there maybe other big savings that could be made - wood from the trees and all that.

pete456_2

The bar work isn't going to cover my living expenses but I' playing around with my CV and hope to secure something more viable.

I'll look into the phone.

I could do the SOA for my bills, rent now but that's coming to an end any minute so it's a little pointless and I don't plan on taking on a new tenancy/ utility bills etc until I know where I stand. I've separated from my girlfriend of 2 years and will probably end up on a mates sofa in a few days.

No expenses/ outgoings now apart from debt, food and phone. I've done well !!!