Done something unforgivable resulting in £207,000 debt

DGJsaver

Pay the debts off with some of this 125k you say you have ,then owe no one but your old man....then cash the shares , and hope you get this 10k....then work your !!!! off to repay the rest , by the time he wants it back , you may well have got back up to 140k and he will be none the wiser...

simples

zarazara

I think you should be upfront and tell your Dad,Honesty is always the best policy.

pete456_2

Percy... honestly, no he doesn't need it. He has other savings and a large income. He fairly well off and will probably never spend or use it.

But that's not the point, it is his money. Not mine. Did he give it to me to avoid Inheritance Tax after 7 years in my name?... maybe he did but he won't confirm it. There is every chance he will ask for it back tomorrow and I need to be in the situation to pay it back.

I don't want him t bail me out or to borrow any money from him because I can't foresee anyway of paying him back. Rightly or wrongly when I borrowed, invested, stole or whatever his £140,000, I at least had a vision/ plan that I could repay him. I don't have that now. My resources and confidence are at rock bottom and I couldn't justify anymore debt especially to him after all this. I need to clear my conscious.... not add to it.

DGJsaver

sounds nice and sordid , no offence fella

pete456_2

DJGSaver.... thought of that but I just couldn't. Yes I would be debt free to the banks but being in debt to family is worse.

Again it's a gamble. He may never ask for it back. He may ask in 10 years. He may ask tomorrow. I don't know.

He trusted me, I failed him although I didn't loose his money. Paying him back is more important I think as the worry that he would ask and the shame would be unbearable should I not be able to pay him. It could cause massive family repercussions.

DGJsaver

I hear you mate , but the chance to avoid all sorts of finacial stress from the banks and creditors is there to you , and as you say , he may not ask for it for 10 years by which time you could be doing OK......you obviously dont mind taking the odd risk , surley this one is justified....?

pete456_2

non taken :-)

miss_missy

hi
i think you should tell your dad everything its not just the right thing to do but it will probably make you feel much better and you never know your dad may offer to help BUT i do feel if he does offer to help, you should only take a minimum amount of help ie let him cover you minimum repayments for a month or 2 while you get a full time job and then YOU need to pay it all back whether that be with help on a dmp or on your own, i say this because if you do not have to work hard to pay the money back you may end up in a similar amount of debt again

if you dad does not help, cant forgive you etc at least youve done the right thing and your really no worse off

i know my dad would be angry and want to kill me probably if i did this but i also know he would be far more upset, hurt and angry that i didnt tell him sooner rather than later.

The longer you leave things the worse it will be

pete456_2

DGJSaver...... please don't give me any ideas ;-)

I see your point and maybe long term it would work out perfectly. I have the cash to clear my debts and still leave me with between 60-75k in the bank. Amazing.... but it isn't my money. Never was. I just couldn't do that. It isn't an option.

miss_missy

DGJsaver wrote: »

I hear you mate , but the chance to avoid all sorts of finacial stress from the banks and creditors is there to you , and as you say , he may not ask for it for 10 years by which time you could be doing OK......you obviously dont mind taking the odd risk , surley this one is justified....?

hi dj you could well be petes devil taking him over to the darkside :rotfl:

i can understand what your saying the stress can be very difficult but as most of us know here its the stress and having to deal with creditors to pay them back and the hard work, the living without because every penny goes to pay back your debt, that hopefully in the long run will stop you getting into debt again