Help with problems at home please

preciousb

I think that idea is great. Thankyou

I will see if the temple priest will pop home and have a chat with him. I doubt he will go there so it might be best for everyone to be out when the priest comes.

The funny thing is, the other family have ignored our family alltogether. They live towards london and we are in the midlands.

At the start they said, they would make her understand in time. It eventually got to, its upto my brother and her now which i can respect.

And since the divorce papers have been progressing further, they havent contacted us.

At the start when she returned to her mums. We went 5 times within a space of 5 months to sort it out. My brother also went down to fix the marriage but she is said no on all tries.

Thanks for the advice all. Am going to get my dad to talk to the priest and ask him to do a home visit. Hopefully my brother might open up a lot more to someone neutral.

Pee

Whilst appreciating that we can't tell what goes on behind closed doors, it seems to me that the woman concerned has acted very badly, and anyway, of course you want to support your brother.

I can see that your parents in general feel that divorce is wrong, but might they be in agreement that it is the only thing to do in this situation, so that he can stop paying her money - my understanding is that there are no children - and sort out a legal divorce as soon as possible - much easier with a short marriage.

I think the doctor or the priest are both good ideas.

The important thing seems to be for your brother to accept that it is over, that she is not coming back and that he needs to move on with his life which is not by any means ruined unless he allows this event to ruin it.

RAS

On a very practical point, it sounds like your brother and his ex-wife have some joint accounts, on which she is continuing to run up debts?

If this is the case, he needs to advise all of them that all further debits must be signed by both parties.

Legally even if she spends on the accounts, your brother is liable for the debt, so he needs to stop her.

tandraig

preciousb - I understand the cultural issues (well, I didnt until you explained them, very well btw).
your brother obviously still feels married and she never did.
your parents are dying of shame...........not literally, but you know what i mean.
isnt it time you all sat down together with your priest, cultural leader or someone you all respect and discuss this? sort of like group therapy? do you think that would help?
I find it difficult to advise, but having already posted dont want to suddenly disappear, and do understand that in some cultures divorce is not an option even though it is legal.
so thats the best i can come up with hun, except to give you my heartfelt good wishes that this can be resolved.