Drink Driving

superclan

ailuro2 wrote: »

As someone who cares for an alcoholic and a drunk driver, you should take some steps to getting support for yourself, this can only end with heartache for you, you need to be aware of this.

My tuppence worth on this - we don't speak to a very close family member now because he drove home drunk from a family party and didn't even get in touch to say he was home safely (80 miles away was 'home') and did not bother to get in touch to say sorry for leaving us to worry about him , not even a text. The only way we knew he was alive was when I saw him out and about a few days later. That was the first time I blanked him, have continued to do so since. It's not the first time he's driven drunk, so his second third fourth chances are long gone....

People who are as callous and selfish as that are not worth wasting heartache on, I always questioned what if he'd taken out a family travelling home - he could easily have wrecked so many more families than just ours.:mad:


For those who say the lynch mob will be along, put yourself in the shoes of someone who has been affected by drink drivers.

If I ruled the world I'd ban all second time drink/drug driving offenders for LIFE, because everyone deserves a second chance, there's always the chance someone doesn't metabolise alcohol well etc. that's why they'd get a second chance (unlike the people killed by drunk drivers, they get no waring or second chance, so the second chance thing is being pretty lenient)




OP, look after yourself, the worrying about whether the person will go down is part of the punishment, it affects all of you, not just the twit who drove while under the influence.

So what your saying is you actually knew he was drunk and still allowed him to drive 80 miles? I think you need to take a serious look at yourself, How would you have felt if he had taken someone else's life.

Drink Drivers need to be punished as harshly as possible. I have seen the carnage they cause on many occasions and its usually the innocent party that comes off worse. I am sure that most people on here scream at the television when they hear the death of a child because a drunk driver mounted a kerb or alike. I have said it on a previous thread how anyone can knowingly allow someone to get behind the wheel of a car when they have had a drink is not acceptable.

drew2k9

anewman wrote: »

And rightly so :j

A shame he still lives and didn't get a Darwin award, provides the opportunity to do it again and take an innocent person/people out with him.

thats a bit harsh, theres no point in wishing someone had died incase they hurt others. you shouldnt wish that on anyone!

the whole point seems to be the OP cares for the person and wants advice, im sure they didnt come on here to be abused for what someone else did. he will get his punishment in whatever form the legal system hands out to him, and weather we think its appropriate or not doesnt matter either, if we wanted to judge people, well, then we should have studied law to become a judge!!

i think he will be hit hard with a huge ban, possibly jail time or the option to go into rehab with probation and strict restrictions etc, but i just hope they get the chance to chance and get made better, alcohol dependancy is an awful problem to have, weather its self inflicted or not.

im sure everyone who has been slating the OP and their friend hasnt always been a model citizen, fact is we all do things we shouldnt at some point or another, and all go through hard times, its how we deal with them thats different, some feel their last resort is drinking, these people need help, if they are willing to accept it.

hopefully this accident will be the wake-up call he needs to get his life back on track.

FabSascha

Thank you to the majority of the people who have posted replies. I agree with most of you and I in no way defend his actions. I had hoped that once a few of the good people on here (from my experience you usually get good, judgement free replies) had replied with posts like many of the above, I could have shown him exactly what people thought with the view that a lot of the replies would be generally unbiased but I can't show him a post that shows 'shame you didn't die' or similar as that'll just defeat the whole object.

I think whatever the courts decide will be the right thing. If he gets jail time then he most definitely only has himself to blame. In an ideal world, he'd get some kind of rehabilitation order - although I don't know how how well run they are so I'm unsure how they'd work. I couldn't sleep last night and kept having this fantasy where the judge would say that he'll let him off jail time but if he has even one drink on the next five years then he can be arrested and put in prison. I'd more than happily call the police if he did. However I realise that's unrealistic. I just desperately want him to be forced to realise just how serious his drinking (and the consequences of his drinking) is without jail time, however I also want him to get his affairs in order with the view that he might serve time, neither of which are proving particularly successful at the moment!

Anyway, thanks again for all your posts, I'm currently trying to bully him into getting some legal representation. I think he thinks he'll just show up at court and get handed a letter telling him how much he has to pay. Denial is too small a word for his approach to this situation.

Thanks and I'll keep you posted x

FabSascha

superclan wrote: »

So what your saying is you actually knew he was drunk and still allowed him to drive 80 miles? I think you need to take a serious look at yourself, How would you have felt if he had taken someone else's life.

Just wanted to add that as someone who has both an alcoholic ex (the man in question in this thread) and an alcoholic father, no matter how determined you are to stop them doing something, if they decide they're going to drive then they're going to drive! It isn't a case of putting a leash on them and then later taking it off saying 'oh go on then, you can drunk drive home', you have very little choice. I wish it was a case of me 'allowing' these people to drink and drive, as then I can guarantee it would never happen.

superclan

FabSascha wrote: »

Just wanted to add that as someone who has both an alcoholic ex (the man in question in this thread) and an alcoholic father, no matter how determined you are to stop them doing something, if they decide they're going to drive then they're going to drive! It isn't a case of putting a leash on them and then later taking it off saying 'oh go on then, you can drunk drive home', you have very little choice. I wish it was a case of me 'allowing' these people to drink and drive, as then I can guarantee it would never happen.

There is a choice, its 999 and ask for the Police, surely if you knew this person was drunk and intending to drive it would be your duty. I am not for one minute saying you should confront anyone like this. But surely a driving ban for 12 months is better than a jail sentence for manslaughter or even a family funeral.

FabSascha

Do you often call the police on your loved ones then? I'd be interested in knowing of the last time you did and how it turned out. I wish it was so black and white.

drew2k9

superclan wrote: »

There is a choice, its 999 and ask for the Police, surely if you knew this person was drunk and intending to drive it would be your duty. I am not for one minute saying you should confront anyone like this. But surely a driving ban for 12 months is better than a jail sentence for manslaughter or even a family funeral.

that would never work, the police wouldnt see it as serious enough. harsh fact is the police will only act in that kind of situation after the damage has been done. knowing a few members on the police force i am convinced if you called the police they would just tell you to try to take control of the situation or something along those lines. the world we live in isnt ideal for any of us.

blued

He wont do time unless he was banned from driving for drink driving already. He'll probably get a 3yr ban and depending on earnings a big fine or community service.

Dont listen to people on here that quote the maximum sentences and what not, if they banged up everyone for second offence drink driving there wouldnt be much room in the prisons. I know of 2 people who have been done more than once within the 11 (not 10 anymore) years. Neither got jail time.

wuckfit

FabSascha wrote: »

Do you often call the police on your loved ones then? I'd be interested in knowing of the last time you did and how it turned out. I wish it was so black and white.

if anyone I knew got into a car to drive whilst drunk, I'd have absolutely no qualms whatsoever about dialling 999 to report them. Imagine how many millions of times you could regret NOT doing so if the person, through drunk driving, caused the death of someone else or themselves.

Anyone turning a blind eye to a loved one or friend drink-driving is, in my view, behaving as reprehensibly as the drink driver.
As for not being able to stop someone who is determined, there are lots of ways, such as taking their keys and hiding them, or immobilising the vehicle in another way.

there is no excuse for drink driving, and if I had my way, anyone caught doing so would have the car removed and crushed and life ban imposed, with manditory prison sentences for subsequent re-offending.
The sentences for drink drivers who kill people in this country are far too lenient as it is. For a start any driving bans should not be permitted to be served whilst in prison. The clock should be paused for the duration of the sentence. What's the point of, say, a 5 year ban if two of those years the offender is locked up?

drew2k9

im not sure weather its here in northern ireland, or on the mainland or both, but i remember hearing they were thinking of crushing cars of the people caught drink or drug driving, not sure of the particulars though.