Arrggghhhh!!! and top table help

purplesmiler82

:eek:First I would like to appologise as having written this and then read it back I just had to get my frustrations out. :eek:

I am not getting married until May 2011 but am already starting to panic about the big day. We have booked the venue and registrar but losing motivation now and my family are not exactly helping!

My mum and dad don't realy go out - meals the pub or anything, my dad has owned two suits in his whole life and they are known to us as his funeral suits!! They are trying to be nice about the wedding etc but keep on saying things like 'i've not got to wear a suit have I' 'do you realise I will never get anything that fits me' 'are you sure he is the one' 'you didnt just say yes because you felt u had too'.

On top of that my mum hates my dads side of the family and has even said to me that if it were her she would only invite her side of the family!! My dad has then sat me down and said that I must invite all my aunts and uncles on both his and my mums side. My other half is being very supportive although he is not inviting his sister or her children as they do not get on. On top of that he has got two children from his previous marriage who we rarely see but will be inviting to the wedding (unless his ex takes em on holiday - and yes she would do something like that and the children are too scared to stand up to her!!).

Even though we have been together for 4 years my folks have only ever met his youngest child (15 yrs old) and the wedding will probably be the only time both sides meet.

On top of that my other half's dad passed away about 18 months ago and his mum is in a care home and unless she makes considerable improvement will be unable to attend the wedding, my bridesmaid has two young children and would ideally be sat with them and her husband so that just leaves us, my folks and best man. Are there any alternatives to a top table? or who could we have sat on the top table?

I never realises that getting married could be sooo stressful!!

warehouse

Good luck with the wedding. It never ceases to amaze me that people can't put everything aside for 1 single day of the year so that the couple getting married have a great time without all this c**p.

In your situation have you considered just b*ggering off to the Carribean for a little beach ceremony? Just invite a few friends?

binkyboo_2

i haven't decided for definite yet but i think we are just going to have a round table like everyone elses. there will just be me, my df our little girl and my chief bridesmaid and her partner, then possibly best man and his partner too. I hope this suggestion helps, i am dreading table planning and in your situation it must be even more of a challenge.

floss2

Why not have a table for you & DH & the children? Then put all other bits of family on round tables - together or apart depending on whether they get on?

Have to admit we haven't thought about this yet - my parents are both dead, so will be just me & Hubby, his parents, Best man & Bridesmaid.....

Tired_Mom

Hi

It is over 10 years since I got married so I know things have changed. We didn't have a top table and it worked really well. We sat at a round tables like everyone else. One of the bridesmaids and the pageboy were little so needed to be with parents. Bestman really needed to be with SIL as they had 2 little ones etc etc. We sat with friends that were emigrating the next day to Canada, bridesmaid, friends that had come from America for the wedding and my brother and SIL. We had great fun and the sets of parents got to sit with friends who had travelled distances to come so they don't get to see too often.

The other thing we did was the speeches before the meal, that way everyone was able to enjoy their meal without being nervous about the speeches they had to give.

HTH

ebeneezer_2

We had a 'sweetheart table' - just bride and groom and scattered family members around the other tables as there were divorces, separations and new partners to consider.
Best of luck. It's your ONE day - be a bit 'selfish' if needs be

Dizzie77

My friend also had a top table of just her and her groom - both sets of parents are divorced and remarried and it was just too complicated.....
It shouldn't stress you out though - it's your day, do it how you want it.

Depending on how many people you invite, you could just have one long table with you and OH in the middle of it, or, as others have suggested, you have round tables to mix in with others.

hunnycat

i am having a round top table , my mum and dad are divorced but she can tolerate him:p Just have what YOU want and dont worry about anyone else .x.x

freebiequennie

our top table was slightly different as I didnt want to sit next to my dad and likewise hubby didnt want to sit next to his mum (wont go into any details)

but we sat in the middle next to husband was his dad, then the 2 best men and my dad on end..... next to me was my mum, matron of honour, then husbands mum.

didnt look odd as it was ladies one side and men the other

Alyssa_C_2

Dear Purple Smiler

:mad: DO NOT give in to other peoples demands! This is about you and if you're anything like us, you are working to a budget. You do not have to invite all aunts/uncles/friends pets to the day do (don't have to invite them to any of it if you don't want!) and pay through the nose because they say so. I think the idea of a 'sweetheart' table is lovely. Alternatively you can do a 'U' shape table and then no one is on a 'top' table
I do get angry when people say 'you must'. Your day. do it your way!
x

purplesmiler82

A big THANKYOU to you all, you have made me feel much better than I did earlier, I really like the idea of a sweetheart table or even a 'U' shape table.

Am going to try and avoid talking weddings to the family.... just for my sanity! No doubt I will be calling for your wise words again in th enot too distant future. This forum has been my saviour x