Furious at son being encouraged to get into debt!

scubaangel

Just another thought, this included insurance - would it even be valid in Germany, most UK policies are not valid for longer than a 'holiday' period ie two or three weeks.

Plus if the car thus insurance will be in the ex's name then your son most likely will not be allowed to take the car out of the country, cars in use by BFG, have to be registered with the authorities there to get different number plates for the duration of the posting - I would imagine that unless the car is owned by your son this won't be allowed.

Ames

And if the car and insurance is in the father's name then it wont be valid if your son is the main driver, they're cracking down on that now.

You could also try talking to your ex, pointing out that if son doesn't/can't pay at all it'll be down to him, does he really want to be in debt so much himself? Although your relationship might not be good enough for a talk like that.

jayjayobrien

i am 19 and in the RAF and always get tempted into debt by emails and letters and i took out a credit card and loan and it the worst thing i have ever done i regret it soooo much

sazzybum

rictus123 wrote: »

Well yes he will get a shiney car but would only be good if he was here to drive it. Itl be an early lesson on debt for him. Maybe what he needs. Is his dad a show off or something? A look at me in my fancy car type fella? Thats maybe why.

Ames wrote: »

And if the car and insurance is in the father's name then it wont be valid if your son is the main driver, they're cracking down on that now.

You could also try talking to your ex, pointing out that if son doesn't/can't pay at all it'll be down to him, does he really want to be in debt so much himself? Although your relationship might not be good enough for a talk like that.

Again- thank you all!

Rictus, you got it in a nutshell, his father is exactly like that. Had one of these 'too fast too furious' type of cars and sat in it with sunglasses on-even if it was pi**ing with rain.

Ames-I'm trying to convince son of that-although I really don't think he's listening (remember mum's a bummer who'll spoil all the fun) Unfortunately, his father seems to like the 'point scoring' aspect of it all. Dad=great times..mum=reality. I have tried to call him and talk to him about this but been told I'm a killjoy who doesn't want her son to 'get on' and have fun...oh and evidently I don't want him to buy the car because I want his money for myself! But that's a whole other story!

This mum just doesn't want her son to start off his Army career in debt up to his eyeballs with a car he can't use! I know he can afford it but don't feel that's the point. If he wants it- save for it. Surely a year or two won't make a difference to him-he's only 17. I've told him to think about the insurance aspect and to talk to his Commanding Officer, which he says he will.....so fingers, eyes and everything else crossed!

Again, thank you all for your patience.

rambo89

sorry to sound harsh but it is the responsibility of each individual to manage their finances. It is the responsibility of the car salesman to sell cars.

Turn it around. Your son is a car salesman, and that next sale will pay for his girlfriends christmas present. Would you tell him not to sell that car?

It is all too easy to shift blame and responsibility onto banks, finance companies etc. I'm not their biggest fan but it is lunacy to blame them for an individuals financial difficulties

bluebag

Sazzybum, it looks like you are doing all you can, so go easy on yourself. You seem to be a caring mum and that means being realistic and pouring cold water on the fantasy. It is what it is.
At the end of the day your son will have to make a choice and your ex will have to live with his decision.
If it all goes badly, you have done your best, just lend a shoulder and hang on in there.
bb

sazzybum

rambo89 wrote: »

sorry to sound harsh but it is the responsibility of each individual to manage their finances. It is the responsibility of the car salesman to sell cars.

Turn it around. Your son is a car salesman, and that next sale will pay for his girlfriends christmas present. Would you tell him not to sell that car?

It is all too easy to shift blame and responsibility onto banks, finance companies etc. I'm not their biggest fan but it is lunacy to blame them for an individuals financial difficulties

Not harsh at all rambo! I see where you're coming from and I haven't once mentioned the salesman. I'm trying to PREVENT financial difficulties though..isn't prevention better than cure?

I wasn't blaming anyone at all-just asking if I was being unreasonable wanting to stop son beginning the slippery slope.

sazzybum

bluebag wrote: »

Sazzybum, it looks like you are doing all you can, so go easy on yourself. You seem to be a caring mum and that means being realistic and pouring cold water on the fantasy. It is what it is.
At the end of the day your son will have to make a choice and your ex will have to live with his decision.
If it all goes badly, you have done your best, just lend a shoulder and hang on in there.
bb

Blue- thank you. I have no other words....just thank you :kisses3:

sazzybum

Just a quick update....

Since son went back to barracks and away from 'outside influences' (present company excluded of course ) He seems to be happy with the 900 pound gad-a-bout idea. Nothing whatsoever with his mummy nagging about what you all said on here of course :A.

I basically just kept at it, and he seems to have forgotten about the new car thing-for the moment. He sits his driving test with the Army on Monday-so we'll probably have the same bridge to cross if (I should say when) he passes. fingers crossed, and thank you to all who offered advice and made me feel SO much less panicked about it

PasturesNew

I think it's a man thing ... all about size ....