do you find it difficult being in a relationship

Deals_2

with someone who has kids - though all adults - from a previous relationship. i am struggling to understand lots when i have a kid with him who is a toddler and i treat his kids the same way. as i am also paying for everything myslef on my own (and this house is mine) i have said i cannot do this so i should move to cheaper property for less stress (about 1 hour away and a project for him if he wants to pay back his debts). but he is putting everything in the way. i gather that he does not want to move (my own conclusion) but he also is not paying his way and i am fed up of the pressure on me only. i feel lost and not sure what to do next. any recommendations?

i am also finding it difficult to hear that his mate is about to stitch up his wife for all of her money. I am finding this very hard to deal with.I know this lady (not that well but she seems nice) so it makes me all the more sad to hear what his friend is going to do .

dogcat_2

Only that If you are not happy with your situation, which you don't seem to be, then move on...lifes too short.

Deals_2

do you have children?

dogcat wrote: »

Only that If you are not happy with your situation, which you don't seem to be, then move on...lifes too short.

eklynne

Deals wrote: »

with someone who has kids - though all adults - from a previous relationship. i am struggling to understand lots when i have a kid with him who is a toddler and i treat his kids the same way. as i am also paying for everything myslef on my own (and this house is mine) i have said i cannot do this so i should move to cheaper property for less stress (about 1 hour away and a project for him if he wants to pay back his debts). but he is putting everything in the way. i gather that he does not want to move (my own conclusion) but he also is not paying his way and i am fed up of the pressure on me only. i feel lost and not sure what to do next. any recommendations?

Why are you 'paying for everything on your own' if you have a child together?

savingmummy

You sound very unhappy and i`m not suprised!!
Why on earth do you pay EVERYTHING?x

Deals_2

one minute health problems and then not. i dont get it to tell you the truth . i do treat his kids but i pay all of my own house bills. well i dont get it. apparently he says he suffers depression/stress etc. well that is the thing.

i dont know what to do next . feels so upset.

maybe these are phases in relationships???? i seem to find so many men have issues.

eklynne wrote: »

Why are you 'paying for everything on your own' if you have a child together?

BitterAndTwisted

He isn't contributing. You are supporting everyone. You have thrown him a life-line to get out of debt but he's reluctant to take you up on it. Ergo, this relationship is more important to you than it is to him. It sounds like he's got life pretty easy and I'd be asking myself what was in it for me. Get him to move out into his own accommodation and pay for his own roof over his head and you continue to date two or three times a week and see what happens then.

savingmummy

This is not right! As a couple living together you should both be contributing and supporting each other.

Has he been to the doctors about his `stress`?
Is he not working?

Savvy_Sue

Deals, you have posted so many similar threads, you're clearly not happy, he's clearly not going to change, so why not go to Relate or something like that, with him or without him, and let someone help you work out what you could do!

And personally, the idea of you moving somewhere that could be a 'project' for him horrifies me. Do you have ANY evidence that he would respond to this? You haven't posted any. He prevaricates, he puts things off, he doesn't respond to your suggestions - it would be OK if that was OK by you, but it's NOT!

pigpen

If a relationship is hard work you don't need it.. you are supposed to be with someone if you like their company and them.. obviously you don't like him that much or he wouldn't be so annoying.

He sounds like a lazy good-for-nought.. not helping with you mutual child, not contributing to the house.. depression is not an excuse.. plenty of people are down but they go to work, pay bills, look after their family they don't use it as an excuse to sponge off those they are meant to love.

It doesn't sound like he has any respect or love for you so what are you actually doing?

Do you hope for a miracle to change him?
Do you want a future with this man?
Is this the example you want to set your toddler?

You know what is right for you and your child and what you want for the both of you for the future.. I suggest you start making your life what you want it to be and stop living it for others!

tabskitten

life is short- be happy.
if you are not- change