Can anyone tell me what if any parental rights my ex has?

elly2

We were together for 17 yrs and had five children the oldest three have his surname and he is named on their birth certificates as their dad, my youngest two have my surname and he is not named on their birth certificate. At present he pays nothing in child maintenance for my oldest daughters who still live at home (CSA are trying to sort some payments. he is not named as the little ones dad in regard to the CSA). He See's the little ones each weekend and they stay over on alternative weekends.
He has decided that my youngest son should have his hair shaved for his upcoming wedding(tomorrow) and i am totally against this happening, does he have the right to just go ahead and do this anyway? I know it wont be done for the wedding but i do know he will try to do it at some point.

kindofagilr

Why isnt he on the two youngest birth certs? I am just curious

Why dont you want his head shaved? how old is said child?

pinkshoes

How old is your son, and does HE want to get it done? (I first read it as your SON is getting married!!)

As above, why is he not named on birth certificate for the youngest two?

How old are all the children?

elly2

I'd rather not get into the whole why isn't he named I don't know if any of my reasoning's would make any sense tbh things were tough during the last few years of the relationship and i made the mistake of staying with him for the older kids etc etc and then the little ones came along.
My son is 5 yrs old and i agree with the previous poster that it will make him look thuggish and not only that but it is too cold for him to have a number 3. A few years ago while he had him for an overnight stay he shaved his head and then sent my oldest daughter a picture with the caption "what can she(meaning me) do about it now".

RAS

OK, given that he is not named as the father, is he the father?

That is relevant when you ask what rights he has.

elly2

Yes he is their father.

neneromanova

If he's not named on the birth certificate and there is no court order saying he has parental rights, he has none as far as I know.

kindofagilr

incognito_n_co wrote: »

you can get a court order saying he is not allowed to change the childrens appearance in any way.. including hair cutting.. especially if he is wanting his son to look like a thug! There is nothing more heinous than a small boy with a naked scalp.. it speaks volumes about the parents and the way the child 'will' turn out and people just expect them to be evil little toads.

mine at 10 get a number 4.. mainly because it grows so fast it needs doing again within a few weeks but before that it is much longer.. they all had the most beautiful ringlets until about 6.. I just couldn't bear to chop them off. they had about an 8/10 until then.. depending on which boy it was.

How short is he wanting to cut to? there is a difference between scalp and number 10..

Not all children with shaved heads are thugs, it all depends also on how the child dresses and acts and if the child has manners, so thats a stupid thing to say.

I personally wonder what harm there is letting him cut his hair for his wedding, it will grow back.

pusscat

From a purely practical point of view, if he does shave the little boys head there is not much you can do about it after the event...

I would concentrate on the things that you can control, not those you can't. You are going to have to deal with a lot more complex things than a haircut over the next 15 years of parenting, so if it was me I would save my energy for the big stuff.

He is probably only doing it as he knows it winds you up - so stop letting it wind you up - he may well not be bothered then anyway as he is not getting the satisfaction of you being wound up.......

You could go down the route of a prohibited steps order, but that seems like overkill to me.

Puss
xx

DX2

17 years together, 5 children together and you are squabbling over a hair cut! Pick your battles wisely.
Number 2 back and sides scissors on top job done.

xmaslolly76

incognito_n_co wrote: »

you can get a court order saying he is not allowed to change the childrens appearance in any way.. including hair cutting.. especially if he is wanting his son to look like a thug! There is nothing more heinous than a small boy with a naked scalp.. it speaks volumes about the parents and the way the child 'will' turn out and people just expect them to be evil little toads.

I have to take offence to that remark my sons head is shaved and he is neither evil, a little toad or a thug. He is one of the sweetest and most polite little lads you would ever wish to meet. It was originally shaved off as there were lice going round the school but he said he prefered that way so thats the way it has been kept.

OP have you spoken to your ex maybe there is a compromise you can both come to that would suit you both and your child :-)