Leaving Home at 8 - TV programme Channel 4

kitekat

I watched it and had to laugh at the blonde mum (cant remember name)saying she felt redundant and lost,well hello you were the one who made the CONSCIOUS DECISION to send your daughter there.I always feel children who go to boarding school eventually loose the close and natural bond they had with their parents and end up looking for a surrogate parent (albeit unknowingly)in the staff/friends.I dont think its natural or fair to send a child away from home at this age.

Limana68

I went to so many schools when i was a kid( dad in forces) so was always having to make new friends- and I knew alot of kids who were at boarding school, they seemed happy enough-who we met up with on the camp who were home for the holidays.I believe their parents got most of the fees paid for.
I think looking back I would have rather have gone to boarding school and stayed with the same friends/teachers etc but my parents didnt want that for me.

Molly41

I watched it too. I had mixed feelings as I feel 8 is too young but would be beneficial for older kids - I know my eldest son would have loved it as he was very similar to april's brother - lots of sports! There is a place for boarding and I know that Social services will use boarding for some families who cannot cope with the day-to-day care of their children. It means the families have the holidays and in some respects I agree with the parents that is quality time.

rach83

roddydogs wrote: »

What position in the "Army" must they be to be able to afford the fees? Must be well up the ladder

I thought that the army pay for kids to go to boarding school? I work with a woman who went to various boarding schools in the UK when her parents were posted abroad.

Counting_Pennies_2

The army do or at least did pay a percentage, but the parents still pick up a bill.

My husband's father was in the Navy and he was stationed all over, it was fairer on the children to board than to be moved so many times.

I remember my husband's granny telling me all the heart breaking moments her daughter went through when sending the children to school.

I read a few of the letters my husband kept from his mum and could feel the heart break of being away from him.

The family believes it was the right decision, and I am sure it was. No one will know what his character would have been without being sent to boarding. He might have suffered a very unhappy childhood, constantly having to resettle, make new friends etc. His mum hated many of her temporary homes. Never really having time to make life long friends before having to move her family again. That could have rubbed off on him if he had been there all the time.

As it was he had some amazing chances in life, that without the Navy's percentage they couldn't have afforded to send him there. He is supremely confident, and is very sure of the education and life he had there.

I always have said I would never send my children to boarding school, but then if we were in the same situation having to move many times, I might too consider that as an option.

It is heartbreaking to make a decision such as this. Anyone who lightly dismisses the 'blonde' mother probably doesn't understand the whole life style, or indeed have children and understand the compexities of it all.

I cried as I watched it, but only as I saw the pain they went through, and imagined my mother in law going through a similar thing, I still don't see it as being a wrong decision though.

aliasojo

I watched this with my 10 year old. At the start, she was shocked at the thought of anyone ever sending their 8 year old off, but at the end of the program she thought she might have liked to have gone to boarding school because of the friendships made and the things they could do there, that she doesn't have at her own school.

I have mixed feelings. I think boarding school makes a child more independant and able to make their own way but I'm not sure I could adapt to part time parenting tbh, I'd miss her too much.

puffinmuffin

lostinrates wrote: »

And long term bases have schools I think?

They all have junior schools but when i was growing up Germany in the 80s and 90s there were only two secondary schools. The kids whose dads were staioned too far away (sometimes in Holland or Belgium) boarded in the week. I moved schools a lot and don't think it did me any harm but i think my sister might have been better off with some stability.

lostinrates

puffinmuffin wrote: »

They all have junior schools but when i was growing up Germany in the 80s and 90s there were only two secondary schools. The kids whose dads were staioned too far away (sometimes in Holland or Belgium) boarded in the week. I moved schools a lot and don't think it did me any harm but i think my sister might have been better off with some stability.

Thanks for the info, and yes, I agree it depends on the child. For some it will do ''no harm'' for others it could be harmful, I think for others still its beneficial!

Its interesting that a lot of us have info re services from our childhoods, but no one from a services family have told us what the situation is now!

faithcecilia

I always wanted to go to boarding school as a child and used to beg my parents to become missionaries so I could (not as extreme as it sounds as they were already fulltime ministers). I think my childhood would have been happier, more stable and less stressful had I boarded - I could have had 2 or 3 schools rather than the 8 that I ended up going to as we moved so often, and I would not have had to become my mum's carer at 8. I think I would have had a far more 'normal' childhood at boarding school.

Spendless

lostinrates wrote: »

Thanks for the info, and yes, I agree it depends on the child. For some it will do ''no harm'' for others it could be harmful, I think for others still its beneficial!

Its interesting that a lot of us have info re services from our childhoods, but no one from a services family have told us what the situation is now!

I'm aware of an MSE'r whose child/ren were/are at boarding school due to having one parent in the forces. From info they have given they have to pay 10% of the costs and IIRC they only pay it for children boarding from a certain age/school year. But if you are interested in more info sure someone of on the services board of MSE would be able to tell you.
My FIL was in the army as my husband and SIL were growing up. Boarding AFAIK was never discussed as an option to them instead they went to several different schools, whilst this didn't affect my husband my SIL to this day is quite resentful about it. So much so she kept her own daughter in a school after she moved away from the area and even when to an 'outsider looking in' it was clear that this wasn't working she kept her there until things became really bad, as her own experience had made her very reluctant to change her school.