Just me and my old shoes from now on!

oldboots_2

Hi,

I'm a little nervous about this and have never done anything remotely like this before - I hardly even reply to my emails, but deep breath and here goes!

Somebody close to me recently opened one of my credit cards bills by mistake and thank god they did, because whilst I'd learnt to cope with the extent of my problem, I had started to think of it as the norm. They have thankfully made me face up to the shocking reality of my ... debt. There. I've said the word.

I shop. A lot. I have articles in my wardrobe that not only have the price tag still left in them, they are not even out of the bag. Even I can see the damage of what I do, but somehow, I just can't seem to stop. I've been "spend free" for two weeks now, and have finally not only opened my statements, but begun to juggle the cards around so at least they are all on interest free. STEP ONE COMPLETE. What's next?

I don't really know at the moment where I'm going with this, so excuse the ramblings, I will get better, but for now, I've decided to join this forum after reading some of the threads of other people, how they are slowly changing their lives and getting "it" sorted out. I want to do the same, but there is such a big taboo still about being in debt, despite the current economic climate, and although this is all self induced, I just need a little encouragement from anyone out there who has been through this and come out the other end!

Umm... thanks for taking the trouble to read this and maybe tomorrow, I'll pluck up the courage to count up some figures!

Jan42

hi, to quote the ultimate cliche, the first step is the hardest. You will find wonderful support, encouragement and advise on here.
Hope all goes well, and I will continue to watch your journey x:j

tootallulah

Hi, didn't want to read and run. Looks like you have made a great first step. The trick now is to cancel all the old cards and ensure you can't run up any extra spending. I moved all my debt (over 20k) to interest free cards last year, now I'm down to £8k and will be debt free by the end of the year. I've ebayed loads, worked in a shop at week-ends (and found that I really liked it), been a professional babysitter etc, etc. Babysitting is the best payer and usually the easiest job. Won't it be great to get paid and have all our salary available to do with what we want? Next year I'm starting seriously on the mortgage so I can retire early, or buy a different house or do whatever else takes my fancy. To owe nothing is the ultimate freedom.

Chatterbox25

It sounds like u've taken the first and most important step which is definetly the hardest i found. Its so so hard but we can do this. Like you said, we begin to think of this debt as "the norm" and now i'm slowly climbing oiut of it and i can so see that this isn't the case. Good luck and we'll do this!

oldboots_2

Thank you for your encouragement! I sat down last night with my cards, just trying to get a handle on where all my money and debt it, and I can tell you it's in some pretty far flung places. I have cards that I just paid the minimums on that I even forgot about.

Anyway, the first debt that I will admit to is the horrific amount of debt my "friend" above had taken on for me. When this person found the credit card statement and then the avalanche of financial problems I had, we seperated. This person is incredibly thrifty, and although earns a really good wage, spends very little money on luxuries preferring to pay off their half of our mortgage to ensure financial security.

I wholeheartedly applaud this, and understand that it is almost impossible for us to live our lives together when things are so different, not to mention the trust that I have broken. Hiding shopping bags and ensuring that all my credit card statements were on line became a way of life. Although we have seperated, this person is still supporting me in the best way they know how, and has taken on £17,500 of my unsecured credit card debt onto monthly interest free cards in their name. I now have the ultimate focus to pay this money off as fast as I possibly can, as I letting them down once was bad enough, I couldn't bear to do it ever again.

Last night, I went through my "handbag" collection in my room. I pulled everything out and sorted through various piles. I counted up 33 of them. I actually only ever use one, a little brown handbag that fulfills my every need. I sorted them into piles, and have already put six bags on to EBAY this morning, they'll probably not really make very much money, only a couple of pounds each if I'm lucky , but I cannot tell you how sobering it is to be selling items either genuinley never used, or still brand new with tags when I can tot up in my head what they actually cost me.

My relationship.

tootallulah

I was hoping you would post again. So sad about your relationship but how lovely of the person to keep helping you. Yes it's a lot of money but at 0% it goes down quickly if you can keep focussed. Good luck with the Ebaying, to be honest it's impossible to tell what will sell and what wont, don't make any assumptions just get it all up for sale. Have a look on the "increase your income board", nice people especially on the Ebay thread. Good luck.

Lemon_Tree

hello and welcome to the boards, i'm another who couldn't read and run.
Sorry to hear what you've had to go through at this stage but hopefully because you've made the first moves things will start to improve.
You may have posted a statement of affairs/ or your monthly budget on the main DFW board but if you haven't it's always helpfull to do this for yourself even if you never let us share it.
Though it's very hard to face the situation we've managed to get ourselves into when we hit our light bulb moment, i am a firm believer that once you know truely what you're facing then, though it may not be easy, the only way is up.
good luck and please keep posting.

aliasojo

You're in the position of having your eyes opened whilst still having the support of someone who clearly still cares enough to help you. This is your opportunity to clear the negatives out of your life once and for all, don't waste it.

Have you ever worked out the reason why you spend so freely on things you don't need or use? I do think the key to success is understanding the reasons why we do what we do, so that we can put other things in place instead of ending up following past behaviours.

At the end of the day, it's a habit. All habits can be broken with enough determination.

Good luck.

beanielou

Shiney new diary
Keep posting!
You can do this.

oldboots_2

Hi

A quiet weekend, just me and EBAY! I have thought a lot about why I do this. I used to watch Spendaholics when it was on and watched the people re-emerge at the end of the program - cured.

Without the help of the bald man, I am still giving it some thought.

oldboots_2

Hi,

It's been a little while since I last wrote and to be perfectly honest, I'd like to say things had been going really well, but in truth, they haven't.
Opening statements was one thing, but finally doing something about it is easier said than done. I found suddenly that as soon as you mention the words debt consolidation, the people who used to hand out credit cards like fliers were suddenly on the alert and what made it worse was having to be judged and spoken to by a complete stranger on the end of a phone, who lets face it, couldn't really care less about me personally. Why should they, I suppose they deal with lots of people like me everyday, but it never made it easier to pick up the phone to them.

I've spent the last couple of months ebaying. I know that there's a forum dedicated to this, so I won't go on, but I have to say the more I got into it the more I feel as though I'd missed my call in advertising! I initially felt a little bad as I'd be trumpeting something that I thought was truly awful (even though I'd bought it!) as the next outfit to be seen on Kate Moss, but after the feedback came slowly trickling back in , I realised that that is the beauty of it. Just because you don't like it anymore, dosen't mean somebody else will!

I'm not making a fortune though, just little bits and pieces and it is hard going. Some things just don't sell and after you've gone to the trouble of washing, ironing and arranging items then slowly loading them on, it can become a little disheartening when the fifth item in a row dosen't go. Then all of sudden, your faith is restored, and two people began frantically bidding for and item and it all seems worth it again! Honestly, I think I enjoy selling more than I did buying - it's my new high!

To make a serious dent in my debt, I finally decided to sell my beloved camper van. I had initially thought to hold onto it, given that I could kiss goodbye to any holidays in the forseeable future, but with a final twist of the knife by my bank overdraft, I decided to let it go. I managed to sell it to a good home and got exactly the price I wanted to boot (amazing how debt makes you an expert car dealer!) and waved it goodbye a month ago. Whilst I was feeling brave, I let my second car go. I am aware of how extravagant my fleet of cars suddenly sounds as I am writing this, but it was a very old car and not really worth much over a thouseand but it was necessary at the time to keep it. Now I know that I can live without it, have to live without it, and that I cannot afford to run it anymore with the exorbitant petrol prices. I would sell my only mode of transport left if I could as I'm sure I don't need to tell you how satisfying it is to pay off a credit card in one go, but I have to drive nearly 200miles a week , so will just have to live with it at the moment. I cant even trade it down as it's on it's last legs anyway!

With that in mind and as you now the state of my relationship from above, I have decided to sell my house and move in with my dad. Its the hardest decision I think i've ever had to make, and i'm still not able to properly come to terms withhow I have got into this state., but it is the only real asset I have left and although terribly painful at the moment, It is the only real chance I have of ever wiping the slate clean and starting again. It wont actually clear my debts, but I feel it's the best way forward for now.

I'll keep you posted.