Where do we go? What do we do?

Startinover

I moved in with him 5 years ago and the mortgage is in his name...it's a long story as why I'm not on the mortgage but basically his ex persuaded him to put her on the mortgage(even though she never paid anything to it as she never worked) then a year later left him when she ran off with someone else then sued him for her share of the house before he could get her off the mortgage, he had to remortgage and ended up paying her £50k...which I am now paying..........(bangs head on table!!!!!!!!)

Oldernotwiser

Startinover wrote: »

I moved in with him 5 years ago and the mortgage is in his name...it's a long story as why I'm not on the mortgage but basically his ex persuaded him to put her on the mortgage(even though she never paid anything to it as she never worked) then a year later left him when she ran off with someone else then sued him for her share of the house before he could get her off the mortgage, he had to remortgage and ended up paying her £50k...which I am now paying..........(bangs head on table!!!!!!!!)

That's his problem - stop being an idiot and look after yourself. If the relationship breaks down you could be left with nothing!

Startinover

I used the tools on the National Debtline and did a personal budget sheet to work out pro-rata payments to creditors, it wasnt as scary as I thought and we are in a bit of a mess but nothing that cant be sorted if we take action now, we owe £21300 on various cards and loans.I have used the letter templates on the National Debtline site and written to everyone we owe money to offering a pro-rata payment and requesting they freeze charges and interest(we shall see)
DH has instructions to ring the Halifax tomorrow(mortgage in his name so they wont speak to me) to sort out the 2 months arrears on the mortgage and ask what they can do to help, whether it be compounding the arrears or reducing our payments until he gets a job etc..I have told him he is NOT to offer any payment we cant afford no matter how proud he is.
I got him to cancel all DD's on his account and have written a hardship letter to First Direct requesting they refund all their extortionate bank charges and added interest.

I posted another thread as we are having problems with a car PCP but no replies yet:(

everyone on here is fantastic though and I am so glad I sat down with him and opened all the unopened letters at last , you allways think it is worse than it is x x

ejc81

Startinover wrote: »

Where can I find templates for letters to send to the mortgage companies, credit cards etc? Just to give us breathing space?
Amex have been calling the house all week because he is late with his monthly payment now..I dont have the money to pay them!!

The site below has all the templates you need. Try starting with the hold off letter to all your creditors and then get the financial statement filled in and sent to each of them.

huntscab.org.uk/sample_docs.htm

You could alo try directgov.uk to see if you are entitled to any help with the mortgage if you OH is claiming benefits.

You need to deal with asap before it gets out of control

dancingfairy

Your first priority is to sort out the mortgage arrears - I'm glad your Oh is going to get that sorted. I hope they can help you. Also you may need to not pay any of the unsecured debts in order to get the mortgage back on track - at the end of the day the unsecured creditors come last and if it means the difference between keeping your house or not then the unsecured people should get 1 pound per month until the mortgage is sorted - yes they can come after you still but to a lot lesser extent than the mortgage company can.
Hopefully by sorting it now you can avoid loosing the house but I think any more missed payments and it's going to get progressively worse. Make sure your husband nows that if he acts now he might be able to save the house.
Longer term you do also need to sort out who's name's on the mortgage as if you're paying for it but it's in his name -like someone else has said.
Good Luck with getting everything sorted.
df

choco140

Hi there
Your story sounds very similair to mine!!! We owe £22k to 3 cc and 2 catalogs. MY husband is self employed and although has plenty of work, doesnt charge enough for his work. He's useless at collected money from his customers and we can go weeks & weeks without any money coming in. I work 25 hrs a week and try and pay all the priority debts just so we can keep the house from being taken from us. But it all came to a head last week when I realised we cant go on as we are- robbing Peter to pay Paul and getting deeper & deeper into debt.

I bit the bullet and rang National Debtline- who have been brilliant and advised us to complete a budget sheet so they can get us started on a DMP. It intend to post it tomorrow.
Whilst I am relieved we are now doing something positive-DH is very cynical and expects the bailaiffs at the door at any moment. It really is hard work with him!

Anyway sorry to waffle on- just wanted you to know there are lots of us in the same boat and feels reassuring that we are not alone.
Is there a way on here to 'tag' people who have really similair circumstances and keep in touch re how things are going are what atage we are all at?
It would be so good to have someone starting at the same stage as me- we could all advise/encourage each other!

The other thing I meant to say is- all our debts are in my DH name but find it so frustarting when it is me that sorts it all out!!
xx

nandj_2

Hi Startingover,
Your never alone in this world, always someone who you can relate to who is or has been in the same position.
Let us know the reply's you get from the loan and credit card Companies.
Don't forget, your priority debts to be paid first, mortgage, any loan secured on your property, any council tax, utilities etc.
The loan/credit card Companies keep ringing because they know that legally they are at the bottom of the money pile so they bark the loudest.
In regards to Amex calling you all the time, send them a telephone harrassment letter to get the calls to stop, if they dont comply, report them to the oft, ofcom, ico and ts via consumer direct.
Telephone Harrassment template letter....

Dear Sirs
Harassment by telephone

Account Number: XXXXXXX
I am writing in relation to the quantity and frequency of telephone calls that I have received from your company, which I deem to be personally harassing.
I have verbally requested that these stop, but I am still receiving calls. (Delete if necessary)
I now require all further correspondence from your company to be made in writing only.
I am of the view that your continued harassment of me by telephone puts you in breach of Section 40 of the Administration of Justice Act 1970, and the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.
If you continue to harass me by telephone, you will also be in breach of the Communications Act (2003) s.127 and I will report you to OFCOM, Trading Standards and The Office of Fair Trading, meaning that you will be liable to a substantial fine.
Be advised that any further telephone calls from your company will be recorded. (**Even if you don‘t yet have recording equipment!!**)

Yours faithfully,


[NAME HERE]


Best wishes with everything

NandJ

savingmummy

Startinover wrote: »

I moved in with him 5 years ago and the mortgage is in his name...it's a long story as why I'm not on the mortgage but basically his ex persuaded him to put her on the mortgage(even though she never paid anything to it as she never worked) then a year later left him when she ran off with someone else then sued him for her share of the house before he could get her off the mortgage, he had to remortgage and ended up paying her £50k...which I am now paying..........(bangs head on table!!!!!!!!)

If you are now paying for a mortgage your name needs to be on this imo!
Be very careful here, your both struggling and i`m guessing very stressed which could and can break relationships.
Is your OH now out of hiding?

I hope things get sorted for you soon and things get brighter.

Startinover

Thank you all so much for your support and advice:A
I have added the harrassment by phone letter to my list thanks for that.
OH has come out of hiding now..he just could not face it all and just kept thinking something, a job, a boost in sales on his internet business,or a lottery win would turn up!
I am a very strong person but have felt desparate about this at times, we have both worked hard all our lives and have hardly anything left to show for it and he blames himself and his situation. I keep telling him there are many many others in an even worse situation than us.Reading all of the forums on here I feel fortunate that we are not in as desperate a situation as some people..
I did feel mad that I have had to sort all this out and told him that he is going to have to put me on the mortgage..he agrees and the result is he has proposed and once we are out of this mess we are getting married..well it is Valentines day!!! x x