How can I help my mother prepare for retirement

seven-day-weekend

bubblybee, I'm so sorry, we have not been terrribly helpful, have we? I do apologise, it's just that your post came over so much as wanting to 'organise' your mother's retirement and I'm sure that all you want is to be a good son/daughter and for her to have the best.

However, I think what we say is correct, that unless she has asked for your help in this area, then leave her to her own devices. Her idea of a good time and yours may be entirely different.

As to finances, we can help here but will need some idea of what income she already has and where it is coming from.

Hope this helps and apologise once again if you think your enquiry has ben trivialised.

Merrywidow

Personally, I think the best idea is to give your mum a computer and lessons (if she doesn't already have one) and let her loose on the internet. At 66 she is still a young thing and will find loads of new interests and new friends. She will certainly not be bored. I have quite a few new friends from MSE who I have even met up with. Just let her find her own way. You will be surprised.

Just had a thought. Did you know that your Mum will have an increased OAP pension because she has left it till 66 to claim. She should make an appointment at your local benefits office, take all her papers, bank book etc. and they will work it all out for her. Pension credit too. Let us know how she gets on.

chesky369

...your Mum will have an increased OAP pension because she has left it till 66 to claim...

Yes, I agree with you but, reading the OP's post again, I'm not sure that her mum has necessarily deferred - she may have just taken it in addition to her salary. It would be interesting though to find out whether or not this is the case - maybe bubblybee doesn't know everything about her mum.

It IS a problem sometimes with one's darling babies - they're so keen that you should do everything they think is the right thing, that occasionally you just have to put your foot down quite firmly and tell them to mind their own business. I can't tell you the missionary zeal my son had for the Dyson vaccuum - he went on and one about it and, in the end, he and my daughter bought me one for christmas several years ago. I could never lift the bl---y thing up the stairs! Of course, my 6ft4in son wouldn't have thought of that would he?

bubblybee

Hi Guys,

Thank you all for your many posts today. I generally get your point about not organising my mother but I think when I explain more I'm certainly not trying to do that.

The idea of a pack is to gather loads of information about courses, things to do etc. My mother, sister and I have been talking about various different things that she could look into doing - and yes this was my mother leading the conversation. My mother uses the computer to do competitions (on this website) and sends emails but doesn't really like using it to search for information so I just thought it would be nice/helpful of me to do all the leg work. She has suggested for herself a computer course and I thought I would check it out and find a variety of courses for her.

As for the gym, this was my sister's suggestion - she is a doctor and thought that this will help my mother with her fitness and her knees (aqua classes). I like the idea of the Council run groups but because of her knees she wouldn't be able to keep up.

In terms of the money and pensions, she has been claiming since she turned 60. I'm not up on all the ins and out of the state pensions but I have been helping her sort out the private pensions. I will suggest she goes to talk to someone about whether she is getting everything she can from state pension. So thank you for that suggestion. She has two private pensions - one from when she worked before she had me and her sister, and one from her last 20 years of work but I think she only actually paid into that one for 10 or so years, then she has the state pension.

I'm honestly not trying to organise her. I live far away and so will not be 'interfering' - I just want to be helpful. I know her plans for the first summer are to enjoy the garden. She loves her garden and is going to enjoy all that until the autumn.

I like the idea of my mother walking around in my dressing gown all day. For the last 2 years she has loved her Nintendo DS - she's already worn out one!

Just wanted to take a little issue with what a couple of you have said - yes my mother is more than capable of finding this information out for herself but we had been talking about it and she was wondering what she would do with her days. She asked me! So I'm just suggesting things, not organising. The retirement has only really been planned for 4 months so there is a lot to think about and a big lifestyle change ahead. I'm not going to apologise for trying to ease the process.

Although I went off on a firm note I do appreciate what you have all been saying. My original question was are there things you can suggest that you have enjoyed doing since you have retired that she may want to look into?

Thank you for your time on this and for the good wishes.

Errata

My original question was are there things you can suggest that you have enjoyed doing since you have retired that she may want to look into?

Volunteering. As much or as little as she choses. There are so many different ways of volunteering and so many different areas of interest she could volunteer in, the research alone would give her something to do for a a couple of months.

bubblybee

Thanks Errata - are there organisations or websites that are a must for checking out ?- my mother is in Wales.

Errata

This http://www.do-it.org.uk/ is a national one, but can sometimes be very out of date. Her best bet would be to contact her local CVS (Council for Volunteering Service) office as they tend to be fairly au fait with who needs what volunteers in their local area.

chesky369

The week after I retired, I walked into our local Citizens' Advice Bureau and volunteered to train as an adivser. Best day's work I every did.

seven-day-weekend

I do voluntary work for my church when I am in the UK. Before I retired I did this too. I have been treasurer, registrar, OHP putter-upper and now I am only there part time I am on the tea rota.

Schools too are always glad of volunteers but I don't know whether you would need to be CRB checked these days.

Also I would be interested in education, both formal and informal.

KMK

I live near a National Trust property and since retiring I have been a volunteer room steward every Saturday in the summer months. You meet a lot of interesting visitors from home and abroad. You have to have a CRB check these days, which seems to be par for the course for any volunteering activities.

I have also joined an Adult Ed reading course which means I have read so many interesting books that I would not normally have chosen to read.

I, like your mother, have a dodgy knee. My GP recommended me to join a local fitness referral course. This means that for £1, I can do aqua fit in the local baths. I go at my own pace and it gives useful exercise to my knee.

I hope your mum enjoys retirement as much as I am doing. It's wonderful!