Trying to sort out my daughter's financial mess

Hootie19

Didn't want to tack this onto the end of that very long last post!!

My husband has done something with the best of intentions, but I fear he may have made a big error.

He has telephoned the HP company and has paid off the arrears, using our "only for emergencies" credit card.

However, although they took his payment, they would't tell him anything more. They wouldn't say if that would stop the car from being repossessed. They wouldn't even email him confirmation that they have taken a payment from him.

I just hope he's not ended up getting *us* into debt for no gain. My daughter has to speak to the HP company today and they will tell her the next steps. Hopefully when she speaks to them, they will take verbal authority from her so that she can pass the phone to either me or her dad, and we can do the talking

NGlady

I havn't really got anything to add to this to help im afraid, just wanted to say how great I think it is you are really taking this by the horns for her and helping. It is very difficult to own up to having a debt - i had to admit it to my parents once, and it was just very hard so respect to your daughter to facing up to this scary thing!

alenax

Hootie19 wrote: »

Didn't want to tack this onto the end of that very long last post!!

My husband has done something with the best of intentions, but I fear he may have made a big error.

He has telephoned the HP company and has paid off the arrears, using our "only for emergencies" credit card.

However, although they took his payment, they would't tell him anything more. They wouldn't say if that would stop the car from being repossessed. They wouldn't even email him confirmation that they have taken a payment from him.

I just hope he's not ended up getting *us* into debt for no gain. My daughter has to speak to the HP company today and they will tell her the next steps. Hopefully when she speaks to them, they will take verbal authority from her so that she can pass the phone to either me or her dad, and we can do the talking

The payment should come up on your credit card statement so it should be proof enough that you have made payment.

Just thought I'd say well done for helping your daughter! I'm currently considering telling my mother about the debts I'm in but it's a little scary so far and I'm trying to sort it out a little first before doing it.

Blackpool_Saver

Blackpool!_Saver – oh my goodness, hindsight is a wonderful thing. We obviously didn’t spend enough time with our daughter on budgeting, so I think part of the reason I’m going all out to help her is that I feel partially responsible for her situation. Our middle child is brilliant with his money. He only works part time, but has very clear ideas about how to work his money. I too hope she learns from this experience.

And yes, her car is insurance for business use.


_________________________________________________________________

I hope I didn't sound preachy.
Glad to hear about the car insurance, best of luck with it all

GeorgeUK

Hi Hootie, not getting the confirmation in writing before paying the arrears may have been a mistake, but there's not alot you can do about that now. Once she speaks to them it might be worth stressing that the bank of mum and dad will be supporting her - no need to tell them that won't be backed up with cash though. If they feel that they will get the full payment for the car they may let her continue.

You mentioned the local paper had been thrown out - could she take a notebook and pen to the local library to take a look at their copy?

standupguy

Re the car.

Paying the arrears without getting confirmation that the agreement would be re-instated was not a good idea.

Once an agreement is terminated - and this has been - then that is usually it with no going back.

Assuming that this is the stance the finance company may take you need to prepare for what can be done.

Take a look at the hp agreement - what is the one third hp amount shown on the agreement?

Add up the original deposit shown on the agreement and the number of payments made before your payment of the arrears.

Had she paid more than one third the hp price?

If she has, then the car cannot be repossessed without a court order and that will be good news. It will mean the Finance co will be more interested in finding a way to get their money back -or as much of it as they can- without going to court.

A court would be sympathetic particularly in view of your final intervention to resolve.

standupguy

After looking again at the comments I note that the hp agreement was taken out in June last year on 5 years.

With the arrears that your husband paid deducted it must mean that your daughter has only paid three or four payments and unless she paid a large deposit at the outset - which I suspect not - then she will not have paid one third the hp price.

Unfortunately this will mean that the car is repossessable without a court order and you should expect a knock on the door at anytime from repossession agents.

They can take the car first-asking questions later - if it is on the public highway - they do not need keys - but if it is on your private driveway then they cannot come on to your property to repossess the vehicle without your authority.

If they do then that is wrongful repossession and your daughter would be entitled to all of the monies she has paid returned to her from the hp company.

It is highly likely that they will string you/her along until such time as the repossession agent appears.

If I were you I would be contacting the hp company now and ask them to refund the money you paid to your credit card

dancingfairy

You seem to be doing an awful lot to help her out - is she with you on this one or does she just think oh mum and dad will sort it out?
Also she's 22 don't you think that once she has a budget she needs to learn to stick to it rather than you having control over her bank account?
It's understandable that you want to help but you appear to be trying to take over a bit - whether it's fear of what a mess she's got herself in or guilt (for not teaching her enough money management skills) or what I just think maybe you need to take a step back and guide her to the solutions.
df

dancingfairy

GeorgeUK – it is an HP loan. I’m not sure handing the car back is an option, as she would still have to have *a* car in order to do the job. My husband has telephoned the company this lunchtime and paid the arrears (which I think may not have been such a good move). Thank you for the link to the SOA calculator. There’s so little to put in, there would be more gaps than figures!



We will go through her expenditure each month with a fine toothcomb (if we can get out of the current problems) and get her to budget more responsibly.

I am going through her Orange bill and highlighting the items that are charged extra to the contract limits, so she can see where she’s gone wrong.


The petrol is a problem. I put £25 in her car for her yesterday and that half filled the tank. I have done her a sheet that I’m getting her to complete for every journey she makes, showing the miles she covers each time – even if it’s only over the road to Tesco to get more petrol (about a mile round trip). Hopefully we’ll be able to see where any unnecessary miles are being driven and cut back on that. I’m also hoping that if I’m breathing down her neck about filling this sheet in, she will also make sure she’s claiming back enough from her employer for petrol costs.


Niksyg - I have been through her bank statements this morning, and in the last six months, she has had bank charges amounting to £410 applied to the account. That is roughly equivalent to her current overdraft. (I have asked her to stop at a cash machine on her way home from her call and get either a current full statement, or at least a mini statement, so we can see exactly where we’re at.) I understand that financial hardship cases can still go ahead on the Reclaiming Bank Charges front, and from what I’ve read on that thread, she seems to me to fall into that category for sure. I have drafted a letter for her to send to them (Nationwide) asking for a refund. Even if they only offer a partial refund, it’ll go some way towards paying the overdraft back. (She has now switched to NatWest bank – I don’t really know why)

SkintGypsy - thank you. My intention is not to take all responsibility away from her, but I am going to have full control of her bank account, and only give her essential money (petrol, mainly) and if there’s any extra, then a small amount of “pocket money” each week. We will sit down together each month and go through her expenditure with a fine toothcomb, so she can see where she’s going wrong.

I've highlighted some of your statements you have made - see how it comes across to an outsider?
Hope you can work this out between you.
df

Primrose

I fully understand why you feel you need to help your daughter, but as Skint Gypsy said in an earlier post, you are not really helping her if she's dumped all the responsibility for sorting it out onto your shoulders. At 22, she should be playing a more pro active part herself in dealing with her debts.

Every time you have to go through the paperwork, make her sit down with you and go through it too, and get her to make some of the phone calls and do the legwork. She has effectively dumped all her anxiety onto you and I wonder if it wouldn't be better for you both if she didn't go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and get some professional debt counselling there.

You say that you don't have the capacity to help her. As her debts sound considerable, she needs independent help from debt professionals who know their way around things and who are dealing with these kinds of issues on a daily basis They will be aware of help and advice resources that you arn't.

Perhaps the best thing you can do to help her at the moment is encourage her to be more disciplined and organised with her personal life and administration. In some ways living at home has not necessarily helped her as psychologically she knows she's always got you to fall back on. Sometimes tough love can be more effective at getting people to face up to their inadequacies. Get her down to the Citizens Advice Centre asap. Facing up to things herself will give her a better motivation to sort things out rather than dumping it all in your lap. If necessary, go with her to give her a bit of encouragement. Once she's made the first step it won't be so daunting for her.

And do encourage her to cut up her credit card, and start making up files for all her paperwork as it comes in.