Going to make a claim through CSA, Advice pls

missmontana

!!!!!!, your comments are really not helping, this lady is asking for advice, not criticism.

If you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

mandij30

missmontana wrote: »

!!!!!!, your comments are really not helping, this lady is asking for advice, not criticism.

If you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

Its ok Miss, I don't let silly little comments like that get to me, they are just words on a computer screen. from a person that doesn't know me. Let them Judge I don't care.

I know that I'm not vindictive or doing anything to spite him, I have been totally reasonable for the last 3 yrs allowing him contact whenever he wants.
But when he puts my daughters life in danger and neglects her when he has her in hes care thats when it goes beyond being reasonable. And when she comes home crying and upset, and then gets upset at the thought of going to spend the weekend with him. Thats when as a mother you step in and question why.. And do whatever you can to protect them..

Anyway enough said, I shouldn't have to justify anything.

shell_542

I do see where !!!!!! is coming from. He has as much right to apply for child support as the OP does. But pointing that out isn't helpful at this moment in time.

Found_true_love

I think that the new rules allow a thing called offsetting (if they are in force atm)

Parent 1 applies and the outcome is that parent 2 is liable for £100 per month (or whatever)

Parent 2 applies and the outcome is that parent 1 is liable for £40 per month.

Both values are dependent on income to each parent (not thier partners) and the relevant children liviing with them. So both of you will a PWC to one child and a NRP to the other.

Net result is that parent 1 pays parent 2 £60 per month

So no need to worry about him making a claim if he is on more wages than you.

However a point on the children. If you genuinely feel that he will cause "harm" to your children then you need to involve the other services that are available.

I am sure that the "harm" you are talking about does not incude abuse or physical harm. But you are anxious about what he tells the children.

I would suggest that some form of professional mediator would be appropriate but if thats unlikely then maybe a family member could try and get to the bottom of it all. Resolution is by far the best way forward but I know its not easy but trying is the best way.

Always try to be reasonable with your ex and dont rise to the bait, but if you come accross as angry or hostile then it could be the reason that he has taken the stance he has.

I only say this in order to bring some balance not as a critisism.

The children are the most important, they deserve the love and respect from BOTH parents, try not to let him come between you and your other child or visa versa if at all possible.

Tensions run high at this time, try and stay clear of unfair and undue influence unless they know both sides of the story and can bring a calm head to the process. BTW Solicitors do not do this they tend to inflame the situation

Hope this is of some small help, I speak from experience not as a way of putting anyone down, there are two sides to every story and then in the middle there is the truth.