diary of a spendaholic (reforming!)

Iriahm

came home to a letter from American Express (listed as RMA in my signature) acknowledging my letter requesting a statement of charges. They are waiving the usual £1 fee for this "out of goodwill" and the statement will follow soon.

i'm amazed because their response was immediate. I'm gonna reserve the celebrations until the cash is in my hands from all the creditors, but its a good start! LOL!

Iriahm

Hi,

pay day tomorrow! woo hoo! due to my skrimping over the last couple of weeks thanks to this site I have actually got £19 left to my name on the last day of the month. this is UNHEARD of!

so that means, I am starting a new month with a positive outlook. I've created the snowball spreadsheet and my income/expenditure is always to hand to remind me. Will post a new SOA to remind me when im online too.

still haven't sold car as I can't find a suitable cheaper replacement. Got OH on the case now. Car insurance is due to come down almost £300 on 1 September after 1 years no claims and now i've turned 25! very exciting!

Our grocery budget for the month used to be £200 for 2 of adults and a cat. I'm aiming for £150 this month for 2 adults and 1.5 cats (kitten arrives in 6 weeks!)

Iriahm

got home from work and American Express have sent me a full list statement of accounts from when the account opened until July. I am very impressed at how seriously they took my letter (thanks consumer action group!). List of charges from them isn't massive but its a good step.

One thing the letter has shown is that they have been charging me over £20 a month interest and my payments have only been £16 :mad: so much for Payplan stopping this!

Iriahm

pay day! woo hoo! started as i mean to go on and have worked out what money i need to withdraw and put in cookie jar (earmarked for petrol/spare cash/factors/grocery challenge etc). I'm excited about trying from the start this month.

spent nothing so far today but I have a team lunch today and tomorrow which I have to go to so thats my spending for the next 2 weeks!

XxX

Iriahm

hey, after reading other folks threads and helping them stay positive, i've had a really low day. Never got medication for depression as doctor sent me away to "talk" to important people in my life. Managed to talk to OH in great depth after writing down exactly how I was feeling. He was shocked to say the least and felt bad cause he had never noticed. Parents are difficult to talk to - Dad has severe depression and off work, mum is struggling to keep everything together, sisters are still at uni/just graduated and i'm supposed to the sensible big sister who has done well in everything.

Today has probably been the lowest day i've had in a while and I am getting concerned at how dark i've been feeling today. OH is out playing golf (again) tonight so won't be able to talk to him. I'm disappointed that I seem to have backtracked with everything positive that has been happening (newish job, own business almost up and running, new kitten coming soon). At the moment I don't actually care and just quite happy to sleep and do nothing.

grrr, sorry for going on but Sooty (the cat!) is good for cuddles and listening but not great at the rest. hope tomorrow is better as i hate feeling like everything is passing me by.

scottishspendaholic

Hello sweetie,

So sorry to hear things are getting on top of you - lots of ((((HUGS)))) coming to you from me. I know how you are feeling and its so hard to pick yourself out of it, especially when you don't have you usual 'crutch' (I would imagine) of spending money.

I'm so glad that your OH knows how you are feeling. You really need to take some time out for you. The whole paying off debts thing gets really stressful, especially when you start on the mad cycle of eBay/amazon/quidco/referral sites and all the time that takes.

I would recommend a lovely walk (near water if you can), a lovely bath and pampering session and lots of cuddles from your OH.

I know how you feel with everything passing you by - I went to visit my friend tonight who is living in a luxury flat in the city centre, out for wine every night, buying clothes every week and I so wanted her life, so bad it hurt. However, I know that one day all this debt will be gone, I'll have a lovely family and that's what I really want - all the rest is just STUFF.

Hope this helps - probably not!

PM me any time you need to talk.

Lots of love

scottishspendaholic x

cmjohnson_86

Cant really add anything after ScottishSpendaholics comments were so great. But just to say, that there will be more happier days than sad ones to come. Stick at it and you'll soon be feeling a whole lot better. I really do hope that your feeling better and more positive tommorow morning. Goodnight and sleep well.. x

gallygirl

Not much that hasn't been said already Iriamh. The problem is you're focusing on this every day, but not seeing anything tangible happening.

Also the stress of being there for everyone does get you down - I've had times where I've felt like screaming 'what about me!!!!!!!!!!!' In the end I tried positive thinking & it has worked (sort of) - I can't change circumstances but have changed my reaction to them - I will listen to others problems and advise, but don't take them home with me. Also, if you don't tell others you ahve problems they won't know!!!! and you will forever be the sensible big sister.

Time to start dumping on others!

SS - (I know how you feel with everything passing you by - I went to visit my friend tonight who is living in a luxury flat in the city centre, out for wine every night, buying clothes every week and I so wanted her life, so bad it hurt. However, I know that one day all this debt will be gone, I'll have a lovely family and that's what I really want - all the rest is just STUFF.) - you'll have paid off your debt around the time she has her lightbulb moment!!!! Then the situation will be reversed!

Chin up peeps, is the weekend!!!!!

Iriahm

thanks guys, still feel weird today but it usually comes in waves and hangs around for a couple of days.

OH and I slept in this morning (why does it have to be soooo hot at night??) so day hasn't started the best, however, am going to look at SOA and rejig things. Had to pay £413.55 to welcome finance this morning as I hadn't realised the direct debits were cancelled for the last 3 months...think i'm going to be ok cash wise and its probably better to have a very tight budget for rest of month. I'm away at Guide camp for a week next Saturday so won't be spending anything that week, maybe £5.

also, never mentioned before as I keep thinking its miles away that OH and I are going to Australia to see his family for a month at Christmas. Flights were bought ages ago and accomodation is cheap or free, but the pressure of having to have spending money saved to go is worrying me. Its booked now so i figured that if I can save for the flight then I can save the spending money, but I wish I could use the money more sensibly...

sorry for going on, spent 52p today (needed caffine after sleeping in!) got work lunch so that will be about £8 and thats it!

cmjohnson_86

Glad your feeling a little better today, why dont you put £10-£20 a week in a jar for Australia. Then, by the time it comes around you'l have a nice little lot of cash to spend.. You wont really mis £10-£20 a week either..

At least you have something to look forward to