Is this poem to long, to much, or just plain cheek!

pretzelnut

We havent even sent out our invites yet, but already people are asking us what we would like as a wedding present.
We'd love cash towards a honeymoon, were not sure exactly where we want to go yet, it all depends on how much is left over from the wedding fund itself.

So I have put this poem together to go in the invites, it has a bit of us in there:

Gifts


We've been together for almost 3 years,


We met one night on the internet, emailing each other beers.


Our home is filled with love and laughter,


A happy healthy life, Is all we are after.

We live a simple joyous life,


We simply can't wait to be husband & wife.


Who knows where our lives will lead us next,


Check our facebook status we'll update it by text. .

Most importantly we lovingly request

That you come to our wedding as our guests.

We know you're not all millionaires,


Who can make money appear out of thin air.

We have the most precious things that money can buy.


They fill us with love and laughter and sometimes make us cry.


We have 3 beautiful children, who you all must agree.


Make us the proudest parents the world ever did see.

We haven't got a wedding list, the reasons we'll explain,

It's to save you all the hassle, as we know shopping is a pain.
We thought we'd ask you all for something else instead,
A small cash contribution towards: A romantic honeymoon in the med.

Don't feel you have to give though,


Your presence is present enough.

The choice is yours we really don't mind, You decide what's best,
We're just happy to be getting married and to have you as our guest!

So if you'd like to contribute,

we would be over the moon.
We offer you our heartfelt 'thanks!'
With Love, the Bride & Groom xxx

pretzelnut

oooh dont know what happened there, it looked fine in the preview!

Skint_Catt

I think that's brilliant! I want to do something similar too and if you don't mind I might pinch a few lines from you (not the whole thing though!)

grastgirl

A touch long perhaps, but then I never was a fan of poetry, so I can't say how I'd change it.

kingshir

Sorry much too long!

pretzelnut

Im thinking its a bit long but i have jiggled with it and if i take something out it doesnt seem to flow properly.

Birdie85

I like that it is personal to you and goes about the awkward business of asking for money rather than presents quite nicely but it is a tad too long. Cut it down to about half the size and it'll be a winner IMO!

superfran_uk

Too long, and wayyyyy too cheesy!

Not a fan of wedding poems though (ok - I hate them) so can't offer advice.

pretzelnut

No not everyone does like wedding poems, but for us its a better way of saying,

Since your all asking we'd like cash, Ta very much!

I think i shall have a play with it later and see what else i can come up with. I wanted it to tell a little story about us and how we got together as not many people know and our lives together.

superfran_uk

I am of the mindset that if you don't ask for anything, most people will ask or give you cash by default. Either way, I'm not too bothered - presents don't concern me. I sincerely doubt we'll be stuck with a garage full of toasters we can't return (although one friend of mine has said he's going to go on ebay and buy £100 worth of second hand toasters...but i believe that's just a threat!).

mumslave

aww i dont normally venture in here, being already married and all that, but I think your poem is very clever, thoughtful and original. Well done. I dont believe its too long either, but you could always have it printed on some nice A4 paper and staple it to the wedding invites.