Disabled Mum in hospital

downshifter98

Hi folks

Brief background - Mum (late 60's) has severe rheumatoid arthritis and has had it for 35 years plus - she has been looked after by my Dad (early 70's) and they receive (I believe) the full quote of financial help plus social services have upgraded their (owned) home with various gadgets (special loo, chairlift etc) to help Mum remain at home. Over the past year Mum has increasingly struggled to walk (20 minutes from living room to downstairs loo) and has needed to 'rush' to the loo more and more. Things came to a head last week when Mum lost all ability to walk and became incontinent - Dad played it down, as always, but she is now in hospital and having various tests - a spine/nerve problem is suspected but her body is wrecked with the RA; she cannot feed herself and is now bed-ridden. My question is, as their only son, where do I begin with regard ongoing care - we are hoping that an operation might restore some walking ability but all of this has highlighted that my Dad is really struggling to look after her and extra help is now required (even with a 'successful' op, which is by no means certain).
Mum will want to remain at home but things have to change and I just don't know where to start - they own their home outright and have small savings (they get full pension credit) but are very proud people (of the last noble generation) and hate asking for anything. Could anyone please advise what I should be asking (on their behalf) at the hospital or of social services; I'm just so worried that the hospital will announce that there is no more to be done and discharge Mum back into my Dad's care and I'm determined that this won't happen without extra help.

Regards downshifter98

downshifter98

Uummm, just realised that this might be in the wrong forum - could the mods please change it if there is a more suitable one. Thanks.

Regards Downshifter

mouseymousey99

If you speak to the ward clerk they should put you in touch with the social worker at the hospital. It sounds as if at the moment things are a little up in the air? They won't discharge your mum without a proper care plan.
What do you want to happen? Does your Mum already have a carer? You say you think they receive the full bag of benefits etc.
Is it time your parents looked to move house? Its an emotional thing I know, but, you also need to talk to your Dad, see what he thinks should happen.

Indie_Kid

You might want SS to review your mum's care? IE, would she need more? Are there any other gadgets she'll need?

elsien

You can also get occupational health assessments re aids and adaptations that may be needed before mum can go back home.
As others have said, your mum needs an updated community care assessment and your dad needs a carers assessment via the social worker - do they still have an allocated social worker for the help they've already had? If not, go back to them or try the hospital social worker. If you start telling people now that they won't be able to manage without help, things can start happening sooner rather than later.
They may need to contribute or pay for some of the help, such as someone going in to help out, depending on a financial assessment, but possibly not if they're on pension credits. Good luck with it all. You can also contact people like Age Concern if you want impartial advice/information - my aunt found them amazingly helpful.
If you make it clear that your mum can't go home until more help had been organised, they can't just discharge her to your dad's care.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/HealthAndSupport/ArrangingHealthAndSocialCare/DG_4000436

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/HealthAndSupport/Hospitals/DG_4000456


Also for your dad
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/CaringForSomeone/CaringAndSupportServices/DG_10026286

Edit - must be a really worrying time for you all, I hope your mum's ok and starts to feel better soon.

downshifter98

Thanks for comments so far - I will read through some of the links and have a chat with my Dad - things are 'up in the air' at the minute but I just want as much knowledge as possible before I start speaking with the NHS/SS.

Thanks again

downshifter98