I'm Loving it!

newlywed

Loadsabob wrote: »

I wonder whether I'm in the minority (I'm sure I am, actually), in wanting to be a stay-at-home Mum...but without the kids . I'm not having children, it's just me and my boyfriend. If people stay at home to nurture a family, there's an element of it being seen as a positive, giving thing. They might think in my case it's just being lazy!

I just love couple-dom and my own time and space. I want to nurture my relationship of ten years, and I would love to have more time to devote to my friends and family as well as to myself and my boyfriend.

I have taken small steps towards this, in working longer days for shorter weeks at work, so I mostly have long weekends. Much better! :T And it's the same hours, so no drop in salary yet.

Well I'm in the minority with you!! I have two stepsons that stay half the week but have no wish for any children of my own - life is already complicated enough with stepkids

I have recently been off due to an operation and didn't want to go back to work. I loved baking bread, cooking dinners etc and just pottering about.

Financially we can't survive on one wage (mine is the higher) but as I've returned to work to be informed I'm likely to be made redundant, I'll be looking for work that could give me more time at work. Failing that, as soon as the debts are paid, I'll be looking for part time work.

suzywoozy_3

This is all very interesting. I have 2 very small part-time jobs and my husband has 4 small part-time jobs. we organise things this way as neither of us gets paid much but it makes more sense financially to have me earn up to my tax limit than for him to do more. love my jobs but find it hard to balance everything out and have the additional interest of home-educating my kids so one of us needs to beat home most of the time. I love that I spend most of my time at home but I would by far prefer to spend all of it there!

meerkatgirl

sazzy6 wrote: »

I have no problems with people wanting to stay at home-think it's great. However it is NOT 'someone's place' to be at home!

So true - for those who want to stay at home, it's really great that you can and you enjoy it.

That said, no one should feel obliged to stay at home or guilty because they work and have a family too.

anniebee65

Coming out of lurkdom to comment on this thread. This topic is ringing sooooo many bells with me. I am staring down the barrell of the redundancy gun where I work, and after much panic and drama I'm starting to love the idea of it. I have two kids age 9 and 13, and I feel I've missed out on huge chuncks of their lives.

I love cooking from scratch, gardening, sewing, homemaking in general, but I also have a very demanding job, so I've spent the last 13 years trying to be uber mum. The idea of taking my foot of the gas and just 'being' for a while has tremendous appeal.

To the OP are you actually going to quit your job? I think my situation will resolve itself, but I hope yours comes to a happy conclusion too

x

Julie67

Hi Anniebee, so glad this thread has generated such an interesting discussion. Yes I think I am going to finish work. I can't bear the thought of going back, I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.
I have just spent a happy hour making lemon drizzle cake and just know my stress levels are way down on what they were:)

jollymummy

Good for you Julie, I hear you and agree. I had a good career, made plenty of money, got a degree and was blardy miserable. Had my son and love my life.
I think the important thing these days is that women have the CHOICE to follow their own path. I realise that finances dictate our lifestyle a lot of the time (I've got a part time job) but for me personally contentment with what I have and my lovely family means more to me than the company car and all the trimmings I had years ago. I'm financially embarrassed but happy
PS Enjoy your cake !! I've just made a carrot cake

anniebee65

Ladies, you are my inspiration. I'm 44 and up until a year ago, I assumed I'd work at least up to 60. Suddenly I see an escape hatch and I'm jumping all over it.

Making flapjacks with dried apricots. Ahhhhh bliss

Agapanthus

After a long career including two "career breaks" and a sabbatical, I have learned that different things suit at different stages of life.

I was definitely a "career girl" and thoroughly enjoyed my job. After being among the first female engineers to graduate in this country, I was always out to prove that I was as good if not better than a man. I moved on from that (possibly proving it in the process!) by taking ten years at home to bring up the children.

I thoroughly enjoyed that, but once they'd gone off to school I got a bit bored and went back to work. I was made redundant and enjoyed a year at home doing the Old Style stuff but financial pressures (kids aproaching university) made sure I went back to work again and once more I enjoyed it.

Then DH had a chance of a sabbatical year. He needed a break (I'd had several, but he hadn't) and I took time out too - a sort of practice for retirement together. A few years later we both retired finally and I'm back doing the home cooking etc. It's all fun, the pity is that there isn't time to do all of it all of the time.