I want to see my children - please help!!!!!!

lindseydaniel

I have 5 & 7 year old children with an ex partner. Every few months she refuses me access to my children for the most ridiculous of reasons. The most recent being 3 weeks ago I left my children with my wife when I popped into town for half hour to pick something up and I haven't been allowed to see my children since.

Can I get a court order to state that I can see them regularly and to be able to do reasonable things with them such as leave them with my wife for half hour or goto see them at a school play with my wife without her denying me access as and when she feels necessary.

How do I go about getting a court order. I am not entitled to legal aid and cannot afford to be represented by a solicitor.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

maggied_2

Yes you can get a court order. Were you and your ex married when your children were born? To get a cout order you need parental responsibility - see here http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954?CID=emc&TYPE=sponsoredsearch&CRE=Parents. You can apply for PR and a CO at the same time.

You can go to court without a solictor and represent yourself. If you post this on the Child Support forum you may get some more answers there.

lindseydaniel

No. We were never married. I have parental responsibilty for my son but not daugyhter. She was born before law change.

staceysteve

Yes definately go for a court order, whatever you need to do ensure your children get to see you regaularly.
It's unreal how mothers wield their supposed power and all at the expense of the children!
As previously said you can represent yourself - which I have actually had recommended to us by father who won joint residency of his daughter through the courts - his ex was a major nutcase and has now gone on to receive sole residency, as his daughter has grown up she has also begun resented her mother for doing what so many do wielding their power, doing what pleases them, forgetting it's all about the kids.

Oh and apply for parental responsibility for your daughter - this is a must!

xmaslolly76

I have no legal advise but i just wanted to say i hope you can get this sorted for the sake of the children. I cannot understand why some people seem to think it is ok to use their children as pawns in some sort of game. I have denied my ex access to his kids once ( even then i didnt say he couldnt see them just not with his partner) and that was for fear of their safety his partner at the time was mentally unstable and my fear turned out to be justified when she caved his head in with a wine bottle (blood everywhere ended up in hospital with numerous stiches) and trashed his house because she didnt like the tea he had cooked her.

All i can say is keep trying your hardest the kids will realise what a good dad you are and if your ex doesnt change her ways they will grow to hate her for it.

lindseydaniel

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Do you know how I go about it if I want to do it myself and how long it takes??

There is so little info about it online!!

basil1998

hi my brother in law is going though same thing at the mo and they have a meeting with a solicter on feb 2nd . they spilt up before the baby was born and one min he can see him then he can not . and when he does go to pick him up she makes an excuse ..but they were married will not know til feb what is going on. but my friend who was not married to her partner . her ex has her son every other weekend and a day in the week . they had to go court and thats what end result was

lindseydaniel

basil1998 wrote: »

but my friend who was not married to her partner . her ex has her son every other weekend and a day in the week . they had to go court and thats what end result was

Do you know if this is by choice, the frequency of the access??

I really want to see them 3 or 4 times a week as I have been, until she decides I cant see them.

staceysteve

I don't know for sure but from what I can gather there is not set access arrangements not even by the courts.
My fiance will be going for joint residency and I know other fathers who have done the same and won.
From what I know it takes a long time 3-6 months and 3 is if you are very lucky!
If you want to do it yourself, still see a solicitor - we have and some are very kind and give advice for free in a first meeting and usually over the phone also.
We may have just been lucky but it's worth try.
Always send your letters recorded delivery.

basil1998

it went to court but i think it was settled between them and solicters with in reason . because he was messing her about not paying child maintenance . and he went and took her to court and it was decided one weekend he had lad and one night in week . and at christmas its spilt between his dad and mum

snowmaid

lindseydaniel wrote: »

Do you know if this is by choice, the frequency of the access??

I really want to see them 3 or 4 times a week as I have been, until she decides I cant see them.

I firmly believe that a father should have access to his kids, unless there are serious reasons as to why not. However, you are mentioning seeing them 3/4 times a week. Do you stay nearby to them? Do you take them to school? From their perspective, wouldn't this be a bit disruptive for them during the week? What about seeing them on weekends?

My daughter's ex partner insists on seeing his child every 2nd day - the child is 2. She is finding it hard on the child in that where she is trying to get him into a routine to sleep at 7/7:30, her ex lets the child stay up until 10/11pm because it is easier to let him fall asleep in front of the telly! :eek:

When she says to her ex that they both need to get him to bed by 7-7:30, her ex says she is trying to tell him what to do.:mad:

Thing is, the child doesn't get a chance to settle into a routine and it is effecting him. She is going to lawyers to see if she can't get set visiting rights for 1 day during the week and every 2nd weekend or similar. This isn't to be spiteful, but it is disrupting her boy's life and what is going to happen when the child goes to school?

Not saying that that happens at yours, but is it possible that moving to and fro from house to house during the week, won't end up effecting their schooling etc?

Please, I think it is wonderful that you want to be a part of your children't lives. You don't get many men that do. But from a 5 year old's view, is it healthy to be moving to and fro like that during the week? One day here, next day there. Bed time at 7pm, bedtime at 8pm. Eat all your vegies, don't worry to eat all your vegies.

I think unless parents can be adult enough to sit down together and agree a set of common rules and boundaries for children, the children really do suffer.