i know i shouldn't but i do

fly_dragon_fly

hey all

i hate the fact that i am currently unemployed!!!! i know everyone is in that same situation but it is such a pain i am going bored out of my head and have no motavation to do anything its justs a horrible circle of loneliness and i have been job hunting all morning and have found nothing (well found lots but doubt anything will come from it)

i'm sorry to rant about this but i feel like this wedding is going to go no where if i have no job and although i have been paying for bits and pieces i just feel like i should have a job by now but at the same time it is the only thing that is keeping me sane (planning it all i mean)

gosh i never realised how lonely not working is i just spend most of the day sitting in the same spot on the sofa crying watching tv and tidying the front room before i pick the little one up i just want to cry

val_84

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

hey all

i hate the fact that i am currently unemployed!!!! i know everyone is in that same situation but it is such a pain i am going bored out of my head and have no motavation to do anything its justs a horrible circle of loneliness and i have been job hunting all morning and have found nothing (well found lots but doubt anything will come from it)

i'm sorry to rant about this but i feel like this wedding is going to go no where if i have no job and although i have been paying for bits and pieces i just feel like i should have a job by now but at the same time it is the only thing that is keeping me sane (planning it all i mean)

gosh i never realised how lonely not working is i just spend most of the day sitting in the same spot on the sofa crying watching tv and tidying the front room before i pick the little one up i just want to cry

I know how you feel. I was made redundant last year. I was told about 3 months before my wedding and my last day was the month after the wedding. I have been unemployed now since 23rd sept and it ws fun for few weeks but now its horrible and I sometimes take it out on hubby because he gets to go out (even though its to work). I dont have children and he works from 6am till 9.30 so Im alone for most of the day and while I have plenty of friends they all work plus I dont want to go out and spend money as we will start struggling to pay our bills so cant justify it.
Im not sure about where you are but I have noticed there are more jobs appearing since last week. Just keep trying and think about the wedding. Things will get better

Val
x

Horace

When are you due to get married?

Can you put the wedding off until later, if not there is still a lot you can do. Join Freegle (used to be freecycle) although you may have to offer something first before you can put a wanted ad - and put a wanted ad for wedding things, you will be amazed what you can get.

If you can't cook then use this time to learn and maybe you can make your own wedding cake. Start looking at ways of making your own invitations too. Everything helps.

It is disheartening to be unemployed - that was me before I set up my own business so I know where you are coming from. It is hard to get out of the cycle of depression and back into a routine but you can do it by setting yourself targets and treating each day like a work day even though you are not at work.

SavvyStudent_2

Hiya fly,

I'm afraid I don't have much by way of constructive advice, but I'd hate to read this and run please don't cry.

Maybe you could try and do something constructive / MSE with your day? Like knitting xmas pressies / crochet (tea / mug cosies, scarves, hot water bottle covers etc) baking, preserving? Or maybe just try and get out for a bit of fresh air? I've been in that cycle of watching TV / tidying up before (VERY easy to slip into..) and I know its horrible, but it gets more and more difficult to break if you don't make a little effort every day to use your time. Even if its getting to the library and getting out a free book etc? You could even get a constructive book about card making etc and sort your invites (if you haven't already etc)?

Hang in there fly and don't give up x

fly_dragon_fly

Horace wrote: »

When are you due to get married?

Can you put the wedding off until later, if not there is still a lot you can do. Join Freegle (used to be freecycle) although you may have to offer something first before you can put a wanted ad - and put a wanted ad for wedding things, you will be amazed what you can get.

If you can't cook then use this time to learn and maybe you can make your own wedding cake. Start looking at ways of making your own invitations too. Everything helps.

It is disheartening to be unemployed - that was me before I set up my own business so I know where you are coming from. It is hard to get out of the cycle of depression and back into a routine but you can do it by setting yourself targets and treating each day like a work day even though you are not at work.

we have the cake being made and i am making the invites i just feel like i'm obsessing so much on the wedding because its one thing that is keeping me going and from breaking down and i know thats not good but my doctor says nothing.

its the only thing making me motavated at the moment but thank you all for feedback i'd be lost without you women (and men)

x

beks

Awww f-d-f! (((hugs)))
Don't feel down, I am sure the right job is out there for you somewhere. Unfortunately it seems like you are not alone in this day and age. I presume you have got any benefits you are entitled to (although I imagine if you live with h2b there isnt much you can get). How many days a week does your LO go to childcare?
I can see why you would want to keep going with the planning too, it keeps your mind active.
What sort of job are you after - you're in my area somewhere aren't you?
Definitely try and put your mind to something to try and keep yourself occupied.
I know it is hard but try and keep postitive. x

fly_dragon_fly

thanks beks he's at school 9 til 3 everyday started in september so its still a struggle to get use to having noise and fun and laughter in the house to the house being silent.

its hard when you have a partner who works 7 til 4 everyday as he just doesn't understand that there is nothing much out there and everything there is i am applying for he just thinks i'm lazy when i'm not its just got to the point where i know the bedroom needs tidying and there is washing up to do but i just feel like doing nothing , i just spoke to him on the phone about nothing important but i could barely talk from crying this morning and he didn't even pick up all i want is a cuddle wish 3pm would hurry up and come round my little one makes everything ok

frannyann

((Hugs)) Not much I can add, other than statiscially last monday was offically the 'most depressing day of the year' So you won't be alone. xx

beks

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

thanks beks he's at school 9 til 3 everyday started in september so its still a struggle to get use to having noise and fun and laughter in the house to the house being silent.

its hard when you have a partner who works 7 til 4 everyday as he just doesn't understand that there is nothing much out there and everything there is i am applying for he just thinks i'm lazy when i'm not its just got to the point where i know the bedroom needs tidying and there is washing up to do but i just feel like doing nothing , i just spoke to him on the phone about nothing important but i could barely talk from crying this morning and he didn't even pick up all i want is a cuddle wish 3pm would hurry up and come round my little one makes everything ok

Awww, you sound really down.
Tell your OH how you are feeling, I think he needs to know.
Sounds like you are depressed and need some help to get out of the rut.
Okay, you are depressed due to your situation and anti-depressants might not help as it wont change the situation but they might make a little difference. You could maybe ask your GP for some sort of cognitive behaviour therapy (or sometihng similar), that might help. Dont be too proud to ask for help, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Have you tried posting on the other boards on here as I am sure there are lots of peeople in your situation who need help too and they might have come out the other side and be able to offer advice.
Do you have something inparticular you are looking for in terms of jobs or can you get training etc?
Big hugs.

maggie111

You shouldn't be sitting and crying in front of the sofa during the day... Please go and see your GP. Life may be hard having lost your job and the little one being at school but it sounds worse than that. Even in difficult circumstances we can be happy.

Sorry to be a little blunt, but I've been there and I know it doesn't have to be that way. Good luck

Stephb1986_2

I know what you mean I work from home we run a ironing service and the only people I get to see is my mum and step dad and customers at 6pm, I don't get out of the house other than that, what do you do for a living or what would you want to do if you could do anything?

We went last week for the first time to a local pub quiz out of 60 teams we came 12th which is really good


Steph xx