Can I get a little help?

elfen

I've been following DFW and using it for the past few months, and now have payments set up with the people I need to pay money back to (even managed to clear a £15 one - only small but every little helps!)

I've realised I've got quite a severe problem - I'm a shopaholic. I buy stuff I don't really need or really want, and I feel bad about myself for doing it, I do it constantly. I've been managing to keep myself away from books and magazines as I have 2 magazines related to my course delivered every month, so that satifies part of it, and I'm trying not to buy books unless I need them for my course - which I'm managing, even though it's still early days.

I just need a considerable amount of help with the other stuff I buy. One example is my netbook, I bought it a couple of months ago whilst waiting for my Mac to turn up through DSA, which thankfully it has, so now I need to sell the netbook. I know I'll probably only get about half what I paid for it back, but it's depressing me that I'm spending money on basically tat - tat I can only afford through my student loans. I am saving money, I have a sealed pot and have started to save a bit so I'm not short, so I'm getting somewhere.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I do it with DVDs and CDs as well, I'm trying not to do it with clothes as part of the clothes challenge (which is starting to work right now). I think it's more as I'm not spending it on food (have a problem with my eating habits too) or clothes or books that I think i NEED to spend it elsewhere, which I don't I really dont. Has anyone got any tips that could help me start cracking this?

BTW: I know I'm going out this afternoon, so I'm going to try taking what I need, not my main wallet, but my little one, with a tenner in it for lunch, a No7 £5 voucher, my ID (for selling the netbook) and my Boots points card. Please can someone give me a hand....it's starting to eat at me as I feel guilty all the time.

Tixy

Hi

Its tough and different things work for different people. Here are a few suggestions.

1) Leave your wallet at home
2) Use a notebook, if you want something write it down and walk away. Then research if you can get it cheaper. If you still want it 2days later then buy it (from where ever is cheaper).
3) Everytime you want something look at the price, then consider the APR of your highest debt - do you still want it at say 138% of the price (if your highest APR was 38%)
4) Use the snowball calculator to see what a difference repaying an extra £10 per month will make to the total interest.
5) Join the weekly spend challenge - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2211341 or similar challenges.

Specifically for you
6) start a book swap/book loan group with your friends/colleagues (maybe also for music & dvds?
7) consider how much the item will be worth second hand (eg if you buy a book for £10 as soon as you've read it its probably worth £3 max.) Then look if you can buy it second hand for £3!
8) Write a list of all make-up, toiletries etc you own. Set yourself a challenge that you have to use up an item before you can buy anymore (basing this on the No7 voucher you mention!)

Its about finding something that will work for you and motivate you. Good luck.

gonzo127

Ok first things first

Join your local library!!! To satisfy you urges for books!

Tixy’s suggestion of a 2 day cool off is always good, but I would probably suggest a 1 week cool off mainly because I know in my self I can convince myself in 2 days that I DO NEED said item, however if I leave it a bit longer I do end up realising I don’t need it and just want it

Another idea is to open a new ‘basic’ bank account (no overdraft) and use this for a ‘spending account’ where at the start of the month you transfer a pre-worked out amount for the month, do a SOA and find out what surplus you have then do 25-50% of that surplus in to a spending account and the rest to either pay off current debts (if you have any? Doesn’t say in to much detail how these stand) or in to a saving account, you can then use this spending account to buy said tat without getting into more debt,

Another thing to try only buy things with cash, do not use card, this might seem silly however it works for me (and many others) that handing over physical money is harder than just popping in a card and a quick 4 numbers, I think its mainly because you end up seeing your money going down in your wallet whilst you spend it

MsRed1

You've taken the first step which is the hardest-admitting that you're a shopaholic and want to do something about it.

elfen wrote: »

I just need a considerable amount of help with the other stuff I buy. One example is my netbook, I bought it a couple of months ago whilst waiting for my Mac to turn up through DSA, which thankfully it has, so now I need to sell the netbook. I know I'll probably only get about half what I paid for it back, but it's depressing me that I'm spending money on basically tat - tat I can only afford through my student loans. I am saving money, I have a sealed pot and have started to save a bit so I'm not short, so I'm getting somewhere. /QUOTE]

I did the same as you: I bought a laptop (needed it urgently for my coursework) while waiting for my desktop computer to be delivered. Still use my laptop for studying in my bedroom/watching DVDS etc. Not worth selling it as it's not portable, has a poor battery life and is missing a key.

Also, I used to spend loads on toiletries eg spending £40 in Lush. I've now joined the 'No new toiletries' thread in Old Style Money Saving. Now I'm going to use all of my toiletries before I buy more. (I have enough stuff to last me until 2012:rotfl:). So far I've saved £80 by not buying Christmas presents from Lush for myself and a friend. Instead gave her some of my stash: hand creams, bath milk, shower gel and candles.

Agree about spending cash instead of using a card. I'm now going to leave both of my debit cards at home and spend only the money in my purse. Make me think before I spend.

.

Ames

I disagree about spending cash instead of card - I find that if I take out a tenner because I need something at about £2, the rest just disappears. So I prefer card, it's horses for courses really.

I totally agree though about waiting. If I see something I like then I wait a few days and go back, if I still like it and can justify it then I get it.

Also, if it gets really bad that I want to spend, I go to a car boot sale. I've bought dozens of books at a time for between 10 and 25p. If you take more than a tenner you wont be able to carry everything home!

Another thing for you to consider though is if it's part of your health problems, if it is then you've got to accept that it's there and find ways of managing it, like shopping cheaper and things. If you try and stop it altogether then you may find that you're sliding into more destructive habits, at least I do.

elfen

It is a part of my health problem, I bash the wallet before bashing myself, but it needs to stop, it's just as destructive.

I did manage to take what I said I would with me, and spent what I knew I would (new nail varnish with the voucher as I only have one, small unit for my bits to tidy them up, took the netbook back - put half the money in the bank, the rest is for me to budget on) I know I've got money on my, so I'm going to downgrade my purse and put only the cards I need, and a little money, and hopefully start cutting it down.

Thank you for the suggestions, I will need to start putting them into practise.

barbiedoll

I used to be a cosmetics and toiletries junkie until my husband counted the bottles of shampoo in the bathroom. (17!!) Go to the Pound shops for your toiletries fix, I get fake tan, shampoo and 2 bottles of nail polish for £1, they're also good for pressies, boxes of chocs etc etc. Keep at it, you will eventually learn to stop splashing out, it's a bad habit, just like smoking, it can be beaten. Good luck!

TheBex

Tixy's advice is excellent. Further to the 100 day challenge, one of my new year's resolutions is to not buy any CDs, DVDs, books, staionery, magazines or toiletries (unless something runs out - unlikely)

I've got a £25 giftcard for superdrug and some boots points and I intend to use those before any real money.

It's really making me stop - I've been in the supermarket thinking oh I'll just go and have a look at the books, and then I rembember I'm not allowed to at the moment. I think the 100 day challenge might be perfect for you because if it's just at the moment then you don't have to feel deprived, just delayed.

I've also got a budget of £100 for the year for clothes. It's already working wonders. There's a thread for that too somewhere.

But the books thing is hard. I find that sticking millions of books on an amazon wishlist is satisfying my urge a little bit.I get to browse and the decide to buy but without the buying bit actually happening.

Also keep a list of things you really want and have it ready for your birthday. hand it out to any potential present givers well in advance, or trust it to your OH or best buddy. Then you can get the stuff you know you do want without compromising the budgets and challenges designed to stop you getting tings you don't need.

Also make friends with ebay. I'm allowed to up my budget with ebay sales, and the bargains you can have if you're good are amazing (see Martin's eBay article)

I hope someting helped - I am a bit of a rambler! Best of luck.

zcrat41

Hi Elfen,

I have a major addiction to books. One of my main goals in life is to have a library. I used to always think when buying a book "oh, it'll go in my library one day". Well, half the books were tat and won't!!! I'd really recommend the local library. I use it and have at least 4 or 5 books a week, they are great at ordering things you want too. Then if I really really like the book and I think I'll read it again, (Wolf Hall being my most recent 'library' addition) I'll buy it. By then its normally a bit cheaper too.

Having said that, I do sometimes treat myself to a trip to the bookshops on Charing Cross road or my personal favourite - the BM bookshop. My boyf only lets me go there once a year!!!

I also used to buy lots of DVD's. I recently typed them all into Music Magpie and worked out I'd get about £20 for the lot. Not a great return on my investment!!

ZC

elfen

I'm already at the library. When I go, I get 4 books and change them the next day (I can get through anything up to 20 books a week, maybe more). I am a voracious reader, I can't help it and it's definitely inherited. I have a ton of books, but I've given around 30 away to the charity shop as I didn't have the room.

I've already done a Magpie thing, two actually, and made £60. Out of what probably cost me £200, so that was pretty galling to say the least. Saying that, what I've got recently me and Pint (OH) both have watched, and one that I may need next year - Hamlet. I just need to STOP:
-Justifying a DVD/CD to myself - even a cheapy one - cos I know I don't need it
-Going into HMV at all ever on my own or without Pint - he stops me buying so much - put this into test this week
-Going into Waterstones - have been doing since beginning of term and am doing good, but this week I get booklists so I HAVE to go in and get the books on the list ONLY.
-Ask for book tokens/HMV vouchers for my birthday - to justify it, as it's my brithday present - my parents and family know i LOVE to read - my Xmas pressie from my mum was the last two HP books - maybe she could get me the True Blood anthology or vouchers towards it.
-Play "keep away" from Smiths and Amazon unless I get vouchers or earn them through Dooyoo.

I need to keep to this and stick to it, so I'm going to put it in my DFW diary too to remind me.

And thank you everyone, I can't do this on my own.

QueenBeruthiel

Aim for a couple of No Spend Days a week - they help concentrate the mind. Achieving them with help your resolve.