Would you let a 14 year old travel alone?

PolishBigSpender

QueenOfTheDesert wrote: »

Even though I realise I will probably get flamed for this, I'd also like to say a few words about today's 14 year olds to anyone who hasn't got one at home.

Flamed?

I wish to praise you for having common sense by the bucketload!

Too many people on this forum seem to think that 14 year old 'children' are innocent, stupid and naive. British children are certainly not! Remeber - your daughter can always tell the cabin crew that she wants to move place if she's not comfortable with who is sitting next to her - they will be more than happy to accomodate such a request.

poet123

Actually British children (not sure why you would make the distinction) are not all the same, children of any nationality come in all forms. Some are niave and innocent at 14, some are streetwise and cocky, some are arrogant and bolshy, some are yobbish and rude.

You cannot generalise, and I suspect that those who are reluctant to consider this trip have, or know, kids who who fall into the first category, and so think that travelling such a long distance without some kind of support network would not work for them.

And you know what? I would far rather my child fell into that category at 14 than any of the others, as at that age they have many years in front of them to develop confidence and world weariness. I have 3 grown up sons and one teen, and 2 of them would have had no problems doing this trip (at that age) one would have done it with trepidation, and one wouldn't even consider it. The one who wouldn't have done it, is now the one who travels alone to far flung places, and has more nouse than any of the others.

As an aside, PBS your posts annoy me intensely. Whatever the subject there is always an undercurrent of derision and disdain for anything, or anyone British. Presumably this is deliberate rather than subconscious?

Whilst you might have had some unpleasant experiences in the UK and clearly have issues with our customs and practices, it is tiresome to read the same old stream if bile being directed at all of us on the forums simply because we are British.

I have visited Poland several times, and found the people to be generally very pleasant, there were things I disliked about the place and its customs but I would certainly never log onto a Polish forum and breate the posters there for those issues, or turn every topic into an opportunity to twist the knife. It is extreme bad manners.

No one expects people to stay silent if there is an issue which irks, but to continously make snide comment and digs is nasty and rude. It also makes me wonder why you bother to post on a UK forum, you clearly have no regard for the place or the people so why would you want to converse with us?

I make no apology for this post, it is something that I have wanted to get off my chest for some time, but british good manners and reticence have prevented me doing so.

mumps

One last thing, to the person who suggested I get her to save towards the trip, thank you, I will and that's an excellent idea![/QUOTE]

So glad I didn't cause offence. I think making a financial contribution is also empowering and a mature thing to do. My daughter wasn't as confident at 14 as your daughter sounds but she loves to travel and works hard in uni holidays to save for trips. I hope your daughter has a great time if you decide to let her go.

Bronnie

Tojo_Ralph wrote: »

Out of curiosity, what is the relevance of the question?

I ask about the cost, because if the main purpose of the trip is to experience independence from parents and mix with young people of all nationalities then maybe the same aims can be achieved at a lesser cost by finding a similar holiday in Europe.

If the girl is mature enough, I wouldn't be too worried about her travelling alone, providing all the sensible precautions are in place. However from a parent's point of view, she is still a child and if she broke a leg or something similar, I would certainly want to be with her and an emergency trip over to Europe would certainly be quicker, easier and cheaper. Before anyone scoffs at "over-protection", I know of 3 instances amongst DD's friends and acquaintances where this has been necessary.

Travel is a great educator, on the other hand, there's a lifetime ahead to explore the world and what she gains from visiting Canada at a summer camp, will probably be less and quite different from what she gains from visiting Canada with a friend age 18 and travelling round.

If money is no object now, that's fine, but even then, I think mumps makes some sensible points in his/her earlier post.

swiss69

Children are wrapped in cotton wool nowadays. She sounds mature and I would let her go. She sounds like the type of confident young woman who will do very well in life!

I have a friend who has a daughter that travels to see himn on her own at the age of 10! her flight is 10 hours..............The airline look after you...

Quasar

I think each child is different and only the parents know whether he/she can undertake this trip on their own. I have no kids myself so I'm not best placed to advise but I remember being 14 myself and while I might have been too naive, I well remember some school mates who could have gone to the moon. Now the roles are reversed, but that's another story.

Also, I agree with poet123 about PBS's morbid zeal in putting down the British at every opportunity. Every country has plenty that is wrong with it, but carping about one all the time shows major issues on the part of the poster. Sorry PBS but your constant fault-finding and sweeping assumptions are cutting your credibility down to zero even when you might have something useful to say.

PolishBigSpender

poet123 wrote: »

Actually British children (not sure why you would make the distinction) are not all the same, children of any nationality come in all forms. Some are niave and innocent at 14, some are streetwise and cocky, some are arrogant and bolshy, some are yobbish and rude.

I think the publicity (hysteria!) in the UK over !!!!!philes means that the vast majority of 14 year olds would be more than aware of someone trying to molest them on a plane journey. The original poster has clearly stated that her daughter is streetwise, savvy and confident - she's not going to allow some man (or woman) to touch her!

British children are far, far more savvy and streetwise than the Polish counterparts at the same age. Every time I visit the UK, I'm stunned by what I see - teenage girls acting like 20 year olds, wearing far more makeup than I do, dressed far more provocatively and aggressively than most of my peers. Even the ones that are simply confident and not slutty/etc are still far, far more confident than children here - I simply cannot imagine a 14 year old girl in the UK willfully allowing a stranger to molest them. Perhaps the minority would - but then again, the minority wouldn't be travelling alone anyway.

There may be exceptions, but I very much doubt that a naive child would think about flying to Canada alone in the first place.

brownie wrote:

However from a parent's point of view, she is still a child and if she broke a leg or something similar, I would certainly want to be with her and an emergency trip over to Europe would certainly be quicker, easier and cheaper.

Why on earth would a parent need to make an emergency trip because of a broken leg?

Being in intensive care might be a reason for an emergency trip, but a broken leg is hardly anything serious in a child!

No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot understand the British obsession with overprotecting children. I imagine many overprotective parents think nothing of leaving the child with Grandad though...

poet123

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

I think the publicity (hysteria!) in the UK over !!!!!philes means that the vast majority of 14 year olds would be more than aware of someone trying to molest them on a plane journey. The original poster has clearly stated that her daughter is streetwise, savvy and confident - she's not going to allow some man (or woman) to touch her!

British children are far, far more savvy and streetwise than the Polish counterparts at the same age. Every time I visit the UK, I'm stunned by what I see - teenage girls acting like 20 year olds, wearing far more makeup than I do, dressed far more provocatively and aggressively than most of my peers. Even the ones that are simply confident and not slutty/etc are still far, far more confident than children here - I simply cannot imagine a 14 year old girl in the UK willfully allowing a stranger to molest them. Perhaps the minority would - but then again, the minority wouldn't be travelling alone anyway.

There may be exceptions, but I very much doubt that a naive child would think about flying to Canada alone in the first place.



Why on earth would a parent need to make an emergency trip because of a broken leg?

Being in intensive care might be a reason for an emergency trip, but a broken leg is hardly anything serious in a child!

No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot understand the British obsession with overprotecting children. I imagine many overprotective parents think nothing of leaving the child with Grandad though...

Because the nature of being a parent means that if your child is hurt you want to be there.

At 14 you are still a child, and being in hospital in a foreign place, where you know no one, would not be pleasant. Clearly you are not a parent, but surely you can think back to to your own childhood? if you had been abroad and been hurt would your parents not have come to you? if not, then that probably explains a lot.

I note that you did not address the other points in my post;)

PolishBigSpender

poet123 wrote: »

Because the nature of being a parent means that if your child is hurt you want to be there.

It's a broken leg, not a life threatening illness. I'd expect any sensible parents to make the arrangements for repatriation as soon as possible, but not to get hysterical about a simple broken leg.

Also, what happens once the child is 16 and is abroad? Will the parents then be flying out to

At 14 you are still a child, and being in hospital in a foreign place, where you know no one, would not be pleasant.

Canada is hardly "foreign". The difference between Canada and the UK is less than the difference between the UK and France!

I'm really not surprised British children are growing up alienated and unhappy, what with the vast amounts of cotton wool that they appear to be wrapped up in. For instance - I looked out today and saw a very, very icy slide had been created down the side of a very steep slope. Children could quite easily break their arms, legs, necks, whatever on it - yet there was children as young as 3 using it. Parents? At home. I imagine most British parents would have a heart attack at watching this - yet no-one was seriously hurt. Terrifying, but character building. No-one wants to hire weaklings, after all

poet123

No one is getting hysterical.....except maybe you,:rolleyes: a broken leg is not a life threatening scenario, but, being thousands of miles away ( considerably further than a channel hop to France:rolleyes:)at 14 with a broken leg would not be a pleasant situation, and most parents would want to be there.

If you cant understand that then so be it, as I said, I suspect more and more, than your POV is down to your own childhood and issues which spring thereof.:D

My own kids were out sledging over jumps in the recent snowfall, without supervision, but had they been as young as 3 they would have been under supervision, letting 3 year olds play unsupervised is irresponsible, not clever, or character forming. Wherever you live.