Tips on helping 14 month old sleep through the night/not wake up hysterical?

brians_daughter

Hi all, I am looking for some advice/tips/hints whatever on getting my 14 month to sleep through the night.

Lo is 14 months old and is still awake a lot during the night , by a lot I mean i am up 4-8 times every night without fail. He is only awake 10 mins a time.

He isnt wanting milk, sometimes he has a drink of water, he isnt really searching for his dummy, his room is the right temp no drafts etc, he has a bedtime routine we keep a night light on etc.

I have tried the leaving him to see if he settles and going in after 2 mins then 5 mins but he cried that much he was actually sick last time i did this - so i wont be trying that again.

I have tried altering his daytime sleep pattern but all to no avail. He seems to be very easily disturbed, even walking up the stairs or the phone ringing downstairs (doors shut) seem to wake him so now the phone ringer is turned off at bedtime, which isnt ideal.

Luckily he goes down ok but he wakes a lot crying. I have the baby monitor in my room so i know when he wakes but he wakes really crying - its not a whine that turns into a cry.

Its not so much that i am up half a dozen times a night, more that its so upsetting seeing him in such a state. But obviously if i can help him anyway in sleeping through i would - for both our sakes lol!

I know he will eventually sleep through and stop waking screaming but after 14 months of disturbed sleep and hearing all the mums at toddler group saying their kids sleep 12 hours straight i am beginning to feel somewhat a failure as a mother.

Advice welcome

Any advice?

tamarto

Have you thought about having a radio on in his room low so there is constant noise rather than sudden noises iyswim? If he is a light sleeper then it might help.

When he goes to bed at the start of bedtime does he settle himself?

brians_daughter

we do bath at 6.30 then pj's then i put him in his cot and read him a story. He has his bottle in bed and then i leave whilst he is awake. Within 5 mins he is fast asleep. We have the odd night where he protests at going to bed, but that usually is down to teething.

Never considered the radio on low, but could be a plan going forward

tandraig

I was going to suggest a radio - turned either to a talk station or Classical. If you are sure his room is comfortable (and the bed) then he may just be missing company? a hotty bottle? not the water ones - the microwavable ones. just so he feels a warm presence next to him?
does he have a nightlight? does this comfort or disturb him? some kids sleep better in complete darkness (my sis had to make blackout curtains for one of her daughters).
Its worth trying lots of things hun, but do give them a chance to work, he wont change his sleep pattern overnight - it may take a few days or weeks.

tamarto

brians_daughter wrote: »

we do bath at 6.30 then pj's then i put him in his cot and read him a story. He has his bottle in bed and then i leave whilst he is awake. Within 5 mins he is fast asleep. We have the odd night where he protests at going to bed, but that usually is down to teething.

Never considered the radio on low, but could be a plan going forward

So that shows he can settle himself, my daughter was a light sleeper, we ended up moving into the living room for a while as everytime we went to bed she woke and screamed, she is still a light sleeper at 5 but no where near as bad.

I hope you find a soloution that works soon. x

BitterAndTwisted

It sounds to me that your child wakes up frightened for reasons not discovered yet but if you are dashing up there immediately you might be innocently reinforcing his fear. This might be hard habit to break now. Have you tried making a recording of your voice so it plays quietly on a loop in the background? This might be just as reassuring as your physical presence to him.

brians_daughter

re the voice thing i have talk back monitors so when he wakes i do try and talk to him through the monitor (you just press a button so they can hear you) and it does no good. When i go in he doesnt stop screaming for a good 5-10 minutes. If he stopped as soon as i went in i would start to play hardball lol, but as i say its almost like he is in pain -even though i know hes not, its that kinda cry iykwim?

But i may try a recording as the monitors arent clear really

tamarto

I think that if you were to use your voice he would be more upset as he can't see you, so mummy who gives him a cuddle when he cries is there but not cuddling him, if that make sense?

tandraig

have you heard of night terrors hun? he is a little young, but, look them up on google, this may be the case.
My bro suffered from them from about two years old. he grew out of them before he started school but it was awful for him, my mum and dad and me. he would wake screaming the house down. and didnt seem to respond to mums voice - he could only be calmed by cuddles.

Indie_Kid

tandraig wrote: »

a hotty bottle? not the water ones - the microwavable ones. just so he feels a warm presence next to him?

You mean wheat bags?

We have the odd night where he protests at going to bed, but that usually is down to teething.

Could this be why he's up at night crying?

freda

Argh, I just wrote a long reply and lost it!!

I could have written your post a few months ago. DS will go to sleep from waking just fine in the evening, but was waking so often in the night it was driving me loopy. He is now 18 months and I think for the last couple of weeks has slept through 50% of the time, which, to me, is a big improvement!!

Off the top of my head, a list of things that did and didn't work:

• the biggest difference, I think, was made by upping the temp in his room with a thermostatic oil filled heater on all night long. It keeps the room at between 18-20C all night, which is way warmer than the sleeping bag manufacturers sugggest, but it suits him. He wears a winter sleeping bag, a long sleeved vest and long sleeved PJ's.
• I turned the radiator off in his room too, as the noise of it was waking him, I think
• He has a beloved rabbit which he will not sleep (or exist!) without, he sucks his ear to soothe and settle him. this helps brilliantly with getting to sleep, however in the night he was losing it and I'd have to go in to find it for him. I tried to teach him during the day to look for rabbit, by putting it in sight but out of reach and gettin ghim to find it. It seemed to help a bit.
• I also got him a glow worm (ebay to see what they are) which he loves to bits. I hear it going off every now and then in the night, and often in the morning. The light seems to comfort him. However, had I known he would like it as much, I would have bought a slumber bear which seems, to me, more of a soother and less of a toy. More pricey though.
• I sued a white noise CD with great success when he was younger.
• When he does wake, I don't feed him, I don't walk around with him or talk to him. I just hold him with his two toys, no eye contact, till he has calmed. Then I put him back in bed with the same phrase that I use when he goes to bed (happily) in the evening. This familiar phrase seems to help him realise what it is he has to do.
• Reducing day time nap time didn't seem to make any difference. He will happily sleep for up to 3 hours in the day. I tried reducing this but it didn't make a difference to his night wakings or early mornings.
• I was always nervous about giving paracetamol unless I knew for a fact he was ill. However, I did worry that I wouldn't know if his teeth were causing pain. After talking to a doc, who said that paracetamol isn't sedative, I have decided that I will try to settle him once. If he wakes again shortly after, I'll give him paracetamol. If it settles him for the rest of the night, he was probably in pain. If it doesn't, it is probably habit.
• Giving him more milk at night didn't seem to help. I think at this age, milk is no longer filling enough to make a difference. So I stopped feeding him at night, as it would only be habit forming and cause even more problems.
• A lot of people suggtested co sleeping, which I did try a few nights out of desperatino. But he was so wriggly I couldnt bear it! Plus DH and I don't want him in our bed long term.
• Lots of fresh air in the aftenroon definitely helps.

Must go now, hope some of the above helps.