Struggling with debt SoA here

katsu

Rob,

I hope you come back and realise every person here who has posted advice that may feel uncomfortable, has done so with your family's best intentions at heart.

When you are with someone a long time, you have wonderful times, and times when just hanging on is about all you can manage. Sometimes the road gets tough, but you marry someone you want to make the journey with. You promised your wife would never go without - that is an unrealistic promise, even if there was no gambling. Redundancies come along (don't ask what effect that had on our finances), situations change. Please sit with your wife and your SOA. As the mortgage is joint, your debt affects her. As a couple you need a joint LBM and commitment to change.

You can get to a firmer financial footing, but it does involve cutbacks, changes, investment of time and effort from you as a family. There is no pain free solution, but it isn't all doom and gloom.

The view from the other side is so good - look at some of the posts from people tackling their debt - see how empowered and transformed they feel. That can be you.

Look at the debt free roll of honour - see where your family can get to. Imagine your DFD and the lifestyle you can then have. Then start your baby steps to the future - with your wife.

Good luck with the giving up gambling. Good luck with having an honest conversation with your wife - she has a right to be a participant in the decision here. You are doing her no favours by letting this go on. The best way to safeguard your wife and daughter is to log in, show her this thread then have a chat.

All the best.