Gift lists!

alenax

Hello lovely ladies and gentlemen of MSE! I would like your help once again!

I'm writing an article for a website about gift lists and was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me, whether you've already tied the knot or are actively planning a wedding!

1. Did you live with your partner before getting married?
2. Did you register for a gift list? If so, where and what did you ask for?
3. If not, why not and what did you ask for instead?

Many thanks, if I use your quote you will all be credited of course and if it gets published, I'll post the link here.

Many thanks!

superfran_uk

1) Yes. Last year we bought our first house together.
2) No
3) Because I think they're rude. I would never buy someone something off a list as there's no thought put in and it's impersonal. I wouldn't ask my family and friends to spend their hard earned cash on something expensive and extravagant (we have all the basics already) that they didn't even pick out. I also think that lists such as John Lewis where you go around with a zapper picking items for your list by scanning in the barcodes encourages people to go OTT - someone at work got married and have 3 sets of very expensive trivets on their list! Who needs that?!

alenax

Thank you for your reply.

Come on people, 25 views and one reply?

frannyann

1) No we don't live together, we are late 30's and have our own homes, but waiting for market to improve before we buy together, but didn't want to wait any longer before getting married!
2)No list.
3) Not asking for anything else, if asked we have a just giving page for a small charity

HTH

beks

1) Live together (been together 5 years, lived together 2)
2) No
3) We would prefer the money to go to a charity which is very close to our hearts! For guests to be there is enough for us.

koolkid

1) Lived together 4 years
2) Yes- we have registered a John Lewis gift list- I know our family and friends will want to buy us a gift and I think a gift list eliminates the problem of duplicate gifts and things you don't want/ need wasting the purchasers money really. I also think that knowing our busy family and friends they would appreciate having an idea of what we want rather than having to panic. I would rather have a guest list than ask for money which I personally think is rude unless it's towars a honeymoon, garden, house improvement etc.

bubble96

1. yes
2. sort of - not confirmed yet but would be with the travel agent. people can go and pay towards our holiday if they wish and leave a message, or buy vouchers if they prefer to have something to give.
3. the reason we are opting for this is we feel it gives the best of both worlds. Its easy for people who want to just give as they can do this at the agents or over the phone, and they can give as little as £5, so people dont have to hunt for something they can afford. I feel it is also a gift that contributes to our memories - far more important to me than anything material, as we will remember the kind gifts as something that helped us live a dream. We will also put something in our invites that lets people know that a gift is not a requirement and they should put the money first to being able to attend the special day as we are well aware of the other costs involved in attending the wedding. And also that personal gifts are welcome instead of vouchers, as there is nothing nicer than recieving a gift from someone who you know has gone to the trouble of thinking, and finding something they think you will like.

everybody has different views on this topic, the way i see it so will the guests, therefore i want to provide options that will cater for everybody, and leave no-one thinking we are rude or that a gift is a must.

buzby_boy

1. Yes
2. No
3. We are not asking for gifts but if anyone wants to get us something they can get us vouchers for argos or ikea (not decided yet)

kettlefish

Hi,
We lived together for about 4 months before we married in October.

We chose not to register a gift list as I felt it was fairer to let people shop around for items, a lot of lists seemed to be at expensive shops like John Lewis and as I am just 21 and him 25, most friends were students who couldn't afford to get us much! However we did produce a list which my mum and dad dealt with (all household items) and spread the word through word of mouth - nothing about gifts was mentioned in the invites.

hayleythedaisy

hey,

We live together getting married this year.
We thought about doing a money poem but we aren't now. A few people have asked as already what we would like, gift or money, and we have said we don't expect anything but if people particularly want to give a gift we would appreciate money towards our honey moon. We are having an intimate wedding and don't feel the need to use a comercialised poem, most people are close enough to ask what we would like or need, and are close enough to be understanding of our situation, and the very few that aren't that close we wouldn't dream of asking for money from face to face so it is a little cowardly or rude or some word I can't think of to ask for it in a poem.
We're not registering for a gift list because we are modest people and have the things we need, we don't feel we need anything replacing for the sake of it and just don't feel that we need to ask anything of our guests.

val_84

alenax wrote: »

Hello lovely ladies and gentlemen of MSE! I would like your help once again!

I'm writing an article for a website about gift lists and was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me, whether you've already tied the knot or are actively planning a wedding!

1. Did you live with your partner before getting married?
2. Did you register for a gift list? If so, where and what did you ask for?
3. If not, why not and what did you ask for instead?

Many thanks, if I use your quote you will all be credited of course and if it gets published, I'll post the link here.

Many thanks!

Hi,

1. Yes we lived together for about 2 years (rented for 1 and bought 1 a year before the wedding)
2. Yes we registered with Debenhams but only because they were offering £75 credit and the option to buy anything else off the list after the wedding with 10% off. We put dinnerware on the list, a few serving dishes saucepans, coffee machine etc. All things we already had but better quality) we didnt give the information out to many people and mainly used it so we could get the discount.

Val
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