Am I going insane?

lazy&indebt

Debt, is a worry. As I am sure it is for everyone. But for me, the worry is starting to get out of control. My situation is as my signature of the bottom of this post. I've never missed a payment on anything or even struggled to make the repayments so merely decided that I wanted to pay everything off a bit quicker so I can start planning for the future more effectively.

Problem is, since deciding this I am constantly punishing myself for spending cash! Even if it's only a small amount. I choose to live on next to nothing because I feel I don't deserve anything else. Problem is, I had an 'episode' the other day, I'd ordered myself something from Ebay that cost me £3.50, when I saw the cash leave my account and I didn't have a round figure in there, I freaked out. managed to calm myself down but later in the day, something really little happened - I was at home on my own and spilled a drink and just LOST it! I went mad, screaming and crying and punching the wall (which hurt!) and then preoceeded to hit myself over the head repeatedly until I just lay down on the floor and cried it all out! I know it might sound quite funny to anyone reading but that's not normal...is it?

Floss

Maybe you should make an appointment to see your GP - sounds like you may need a little bit of professional help to get you through the anxiety caused by your financial problems.

I went throguh a period like that a few years ago with work problems & the GP's staff were a great help to me, and again when my mum died after having secondary cancer tumours last year.

Broken_hearted

stress?. Try punching cushions (sp) or throwing them. Less damage that way. Although I know how you feel at the moment I could happily kill OH. One more comment and under the patio he goes.:mad: :eek:

lazy&indebt

Floss, you must be very brave to come through something like that

and thank you broken hearted...maybe I could vent my anger by helping you bury your OH?!

ms_london

It is hard striking a balance. Perhaps you are putting yourself under too much pressure at the moment & should cut yourself some slack (although easier said than done!). Are you working too hard? Do you have any time off or holidays coming up? It sounds like panic attacks/anxiety to me. I am sure they will pass, but perhaps go to your GP, or just try and take things easy.

((((((Hugs))))))

skylight

Firstly - No you are not going insane!!!!

(okay, maybe a bit - you need to be a little bit certified to be on MSE!!!)

But I do agree with Floss - You are over-anxious at the moment and a quick chat with your doctor may be able to help short-term.

He may be also able to help with relaxation techniques and all sorts.

And a treat for yourself occassionally is not a bad thing. You deserve it.

ms_london

Broken_hearted wrote:

One more comment and under the patio he goes.:mad: :eek:

:rotfl: Broken Hearted - that made me laugh!!! Sorry to hear that he's driving you mad.!! Does he know his destiny if he keeps on being useless?

lynzpower

I know how you feel.

I had the same at the beginning too ( anyone remember the patio furniture debacle?) God I tormented myself no end.

Do you have any money in your budget for treats? Even if its just a fiver. then you can treat yourself safe in the knowleddge that nothing has gone without to get a little pick me up.

Do have a word with your GP too, they may well be able to offer you something.

HUGS xx

elantan

i think what floss says is also true :T but i have to admit i myself have started to notice changes in my behaviour,:eek: like you we can pay our debt have never missed a payment etc..but as i'm sure you'll remember me from the other day ..i have decided like you to tackle the issue of debt to help the family in the long run...ive noticed that i'm being very careful with my spending when i went shopping the other day instead of the usual packet of tomatoes i bought just two...now to you this may seem funny ..and in a way it was..but i felt very proud..then thought oh my god is this how my life is gonna be from now on...i started to not panic as such but get stressed i think is the word i'm looking for... i have also implemented the pig and teramundi plan (like you bought through the net) and spent a good few hours collecting the pictures etc ..i'm starting to become obsessed with it all .... the info i got on this site also has been amazing but has added to the sensory overload and determination....so i've decided to take a deep breath count to 100 and relax.... i know we will get there .... good luck:D :j

Peppa_Pig_5

Hi lazy&indebt. I know exactly how you feel. I went through a period of anxiety attacks about a month ago. It was the worst thing I have experienced and I thought I would never get over it. Until then I didn't understand how bad they could be. Mine was a mixture of redundancy coming up and trying to put myself under pressure with a debt free date of next July, plus I had a holiday to pay for. My debt has gone up slightly but now feel much better.

I decided not to beat myself up too much about the debt, still pay it off, but I have extended it by another year. So to be debt free in 2 years time. This is still sooner than the 8 years it would have taken before I came to this site. I am also taking vitamin B complex and trying to relax a bit more. Easier said than done with 2 young kids.

Anyway to get to the point, you need to strike a happy balance, have a life, but still concentrate on clearing your debts. Treat yourself now and again, even if it is with freebies. And if you still feel the same then see your doctor, maybe he/she can help.

Here's a big hug and I hope you feel better soon :grouphug:

Peppa
x

Floss

lazy&indebt wrote:

Floss, you must be very brave to come through something like that

Well I've got a very supportive OH, 2 wonderful DS's & 3 brothers, so I did have support! And me & my bros had been through it with my dad 15 years ago.

It is hard, especially when it's breast cancer & she's the 3rd female in her family - makes me a higher risk

But we have a great hospice nearby & wonderful district nurses to care for her :A

Thanks Floss x