Does this make ANY sense? I've confused myself totally...

jen_jen_2

good luck, remember your doing him a favor by organising it all. i dont think my OH has any idea how much hard work is involved in making sure everything is paid etc.

lady_fuschia

Thanks for the support ladies, much appreciated.
Just thought I'd let you know we had a bit of a talk last night and agreed that food shopping had to be included in our household budget. Agreed to start by paying £50 per month each and see how it works. (I even made a list of all our essentials!).
Still trying to persuade OH that paying his whole salary to a household account and then paying him back some pocket money is a good idea, but haven't quite got there. He says he sees the thinking behind it, but worries the pocket money won't be enough (Did point out I'd prefer to manage on less pocket money than not pay the council tax...). In some ways he has a point, as he needs to pay for his travel to and from work (he generally cycles now but has bad back so has to get bus/ taxi when it plays up). Also says he doesn't want to give up his independence- likewise I don't want to be the tyrannical woman indoors. Its hard because I never had that much trouble managing my finances when I lived alone, always had money to spare, seems like now I earn more but struggle to make ends meet- Don't get me wrong: I love living with my OH and really glad we took this step, but I wish I'd realised the hard work involved in organising two people with very different ideas about how to manage their money. (My direct debis for all bills attitude versus his "pay it when you get the final demand" attitude!)
Thanks for all your support anyway, makes me feel a lot more positive about the situation!

jen_jen_2

oh god he would drive me crazy, imo if you've not got enough pocket money than you cant do it! The bills come first and dont envy you the task of making him see sense, maybe he needs to read some of the threads about how people wished they'd seen things differently more quickly

you are right - whichever way he does it the bills have to be paid, i think given his attitude you let him pay his own debts off, wages into his account and he pays joint account £X amount. When he sees how organised you are and how you can have what you want because your organised then he may think differently

good luck and well done:T

Floss

I agree with Jen-Jen, get him to set up a standing order into the joint (bills) account each week, for his share of the outgoings divided into 52 weeks, then what he has left is for him to spend & pay his debts with.

Then with your monthly outgoings share, you should get the bills paid & both be happier about how the finances are being handled.

lady_fuschia

I think you may be right. Perhaps I'll pick a few threads out to direct his attention to! I think my biggest battle is that he understands the theory of cutting back now to avoid a lot of s*** further down the line, but isn't so keen on the practice! I see that I should probably just let him deal with his own debt, but I worry that he'll just keep putting it off and we'll have the bailiffs at the door before long, hence why I'm trying to help by taking the money off him. I may be being a bit paranoid, but I really want us to get out of the hole and be able to start saving for a deposit on a house (something we both want!), and I worry at this rate its just a pipe dream.
Grr...So frustrating!!!
Thanks!!