Telling my employer I am pregnant

jacqhale

I'm not sure the best way to handle telling my employer I am pregnant.

I got the job last April after having been made redundant twice in 6 months and I do really enjoy it.
However in the interview my boss asked me if I had any kids. For all interviews I had gone to great lengths to ensure I didn't mention family or kids (I have one son) and even taken the car seat out of my car for interviews. I found that I am quite chatty and when I mentioned my boy in interviews they would go from being really enthusiastic to 'don't call us, we'll call you......'
So anyway I felt a bit on the spot but was uncomfortable with lying so I said that I had one. He then asked me if I wanted anymore. I said no which wasn't true as I had just come off the pill but didn't want to jeopardise the chance of a job when noone knows what is going to happen in the future. As it happens it's taken over 8 months to fall pregnant (I am now 11 weeks).
When I said I didn't want anymore kids he said something along the lines of 'good, we're a small company and one girl has just gone and got herself pregnant after she didn't want any more, we wouldn't have employed her if we'd known..... we're getting rid of the guy that you are replacing so if we don't like you we'll get rid of you too .....'
It's true I knew they were paying off the guy that did the job before me. He was always off sick, always hungover and basically didn't do anything that they expected of him.

I have to say I have done much more for them in the job than the previous guy did in 2 years and am regularly praised for my efforts. But times are tough and sales are down.

Anyway I'm not sure of the best way to approach telling him I am pregnant. When I told people what he had said in the interview everyone said I shouldn't take the job because of his attitude but I couldn't afford to turn it down.

I believe I don't need to tell him legally until the 15th week before my due date or have I got that wrong? But I don't want to leave it too late, I'd rather work with them to find suitable cover and would be happy to keep my mobile and answer emails from home if we could come to some arrangement about better pay than just SMP.

The girl that is due back from maternity leave will be made redundant when she gets back (noone should know but this company doesn't work to the rules so everyone was told in a monthly meeting!)

I haven't been issued with a contract - only a job offer letter, an emplyee handbook and a letter stating that I am trialling working 4 days a week and half a day from home/ half a day off for 6 months instead of a payrise.

I could tell my boss now, leave it until after we get back from holiday in February or tell him and his partner from Sweden from next week when he is in the office at the same time. I don't want to lose my job and I'm not sure if I have the energy at the moment to fight it if he does decide to get rid of me.

Thanks for listening.

2520years

Hi there.
I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation. As you already know he is not "working to the rules" but if you do not feel you can challenge him (which would be your legal right to do), then he will just continue getting away with this behaviour.

From what you say it doesn't sound like he is going to give you anything over and above SMP - it sounds more like you'll be lucky to keep your job which is a travesty.

I wish you all the best with your son and the new baby and hope you find a job where your skills and talents are valued.

desperado2

check with an employment advisor when you have to notify your boss, and stick to it. Whether you get a written contract or not, at the end of a month when you get paid you are deemed to have a standard contract of employment.

As far as I am aware, being on maternity leave is like suspended animation - you cannot be fired, suspended or made redundant, so your colleague will have grounds for a claim should your comments be correct.

Bottom line is, once your employment is protected, you have reasonable recourse via tribunals against your employer, so I would stick it out, and fight.

jaffacakes82

Congratulations.

It doesn't matter that you once said to your boss you don't plan on getting pregnant - accidents happen

This is a tricky one because you've been employed less than a year. The boss sounds like a complete tw*t so probably wouldn't think twice about sacking you when you tell him. Usually there's nothing you can do about it, but I *think* there's a difference if it's a woman being sacked for getting pregnant - can anyone clarify?????

If at all possible I'd hold off telling him into you're over a years service (providing your not less than 15 weeks beofore your due date). However it will mean if you have any doctor/midwife/scan appointments you won't be able to have them off as free.

Desperado a woman can be made redundant when returning from maternity leave if the company can prove their job doesn't exist anymore and there are no other job openings in other departments/areas etc.

By the way OP he was bang out of order asking you those questions in the interview, it's illegal to ask those questions.

Bobl

You can be fired, made redundant whilst on Maternity Leave as long as the employer follows the correct procedure.

Unfortunately you have betrayed their trust already, as you knew you wanted more and said you didn't, although they should not have asked you that in the interview anyway. You just need to be honest, and then they will have to follow due process, although because you have been there less than a year they may be able to dismiss you anyway.

iamana1ias

jaffacakes82 wrote: »

By the way OP he was bang out of order asking you those questions in the interview, it's illegal to ask those questions.

Not true, provided they were asked of all candidates.

iamana1ias

jaffacakes82 wrote: »

Regarding breaking the Employers trust, 1) It's illegal to ask a woman in an interview if she plans to get pregnant

No it's not :rolleyes:

Caroline73_2

desperado2 wrote: »

check with an employment advisor when you have to notify your boss, and stick to it. Whether you get a written contract or not, at the end of a month when you get paid you are deemed to have a standard contract of employment.

As far as I am aware, being on maternity leave is like suspended animation - you cannot be fired, suspended or made redundant, so your colleague will have grounds for a claim should your comments be correct.

Bottom line is, once your employment is protected, you have reasonable recourse via tribunals against your employer, so I would stick it out, and fight.

Also wrong.

Bobl

jaffacakes82 wrote: »

What's with the doomly gloomy attitude?

No the OP doesn't have to be honest, law states a women doesn't have to tell her Employer she's pregnant until 15 weeks prior to her due date - and if that falls AFTER the OP's 1 year of service, it's worth waiting to have the law on your side for unfair dismissal (if they try and sack her).

Regarding breaking the Employers trust, 1) It's illegal to ask a woman in an interview if she plans to get pregnant and 2) Accidents can happen, the OP is hardly going to say I'm pregnant... and by the way I know I said in my interview last year that I had no plans to get pregnant, I lied and have actually been trying for a while.

No gloomy attitude here, just commenting on the facts. Whilst it may be the law that pregnant women do not have to tell their employers immediately, there is still the matter of trust; it is a two way thing you know.

2520years

OP does not need to have 12 months service to bring a claim under sex discrimination.

She did however state that she was not sure if she has the energy to fight it which is completely understandable, but a shame as until he is held to account he will continue to act in this way.

jacqhale

Thanks for all your replies. I was a bit worried as I expected everyone to be more upset about the fact that I'd lied about wanting more kids. The sad truth is it seems it is harder for women with kids to get jobs as I have found out and felt I would have been worse off admitting I wanted more, not getting the job, perhaps having problems getting pregnant and still being on benefits now..... you just never know what the future holds.
I thought it was illegal to ask about kids etc interviews but I was the only one he interviewed and was offered the job straight away so he wouldn't have asked anyone else as there were no other candidates.
I understand about the trust thing and in a fair world I don't have any problems with this but I need to protect myself and if he finds a way to get rid of me or pay me off then I need to keep my income for as long as possible.

Anyway, thanks for the support I'm hoping maybe he will be more understanding than I'm giving him credit for (but then I've always been a bit gullible!) I don't think I can put off telling him much longer as people that know are already saying I have a bit of a bump so will pick a day when he's in a good mood and see how it goes.

Thanks again.