Want to try for a baby - costs involved

skintchick

Greener_Grass wrote: »

I would say anyone can realistically manage in most cases. My partner is a full time uni student working 16 hours in sainsburys and I'm a stay at home mum. We pay £625.00 a month rent and don't get any benefits. We get child benefit of £20 a week and tax credit of about £130.

People who earn 30 grand a year plus and say they can't afford to stay at home etc just seem crazy to me. I think it all depends on whats important to you. Yes we have no money but we are very happy. I would much rather be here with my son every day not missing anything than out working full time for the sake of a few extra hundred pounds a month.

I second car boot sales/ charity shops/ ebay. My son has the best of everything but most of it second hand. He has more toys than anyone I know because I buy them for bargain prices. All his clothes are new as I always buy them in the sale and with discount codes!

I second that. My OH earns a good wage (a bit over 40k) and I stay at home. We have two mortgages currently, and don;t scrimp at all, and have plenty of money. I'm glad I gave up work as my mates are having to go back soon and I will be able to stay with my baby and continue to see her develo and experience all her firsts.

As for what to buy - as little as possible at the start. I have a drawer of stuff we have never used. My main tip is to just use the same six or so outfits for each growth stage as they don;t care what they wear and clothes are expensive.

squashy

Go back to basics, imagine you live on a mountain somewhere (so to speak!) and you will realise you dont need much at all. Breastfeed if you can, carry your baby in a supportive sling (try https://www.slingguide.co.uk to find out a bit more about the types out there) which will take the place of fancy swings and comforters as well as a buggy, cloth nappies are a great idea and really arent that much hassle once you get in the swing of it, simple babyclothes- keep it warm and dont bother with fancy outfits. Look up Baby Led Weaning too and you wont need to bother with blenders and things when it comes to giving baby its first tastes of food.

I agree the cost of working or not is the main factor and childcare costs plus travel can easily outweigh what you might earn in salary. Don't rule out a Stay At Home Dad later on if you can get it to work!

The main costs are when they hit their early teens and are growing an inch a week but want trendy stuff, and wany ferrying around everywhere :-)

sujester

chloe99 wrote: »

I would be very very surprised if there were any ordinary people in this country who can't afford to have a baby!

This doesn't take into account childcare costs or the loss of one income. But it's true that a baby can be as cheap or expensive as you want it to be. You will manage, but you need to decide that you will be happy to give up some of the luxuries you might be (or might like to get) used to.

However, will you be able to afford a teenager? Start budgeting for that now!:eek:

justcat

sujester wrote: »

However, will you be able to afford a teenager? Start budgeting for that now!:eek:

Good shout!:rotfl:
TBH I always thought we could afford it but the way some people go on didn't half scare the carp out of me!

bunny999

Greener_Grass wrote: »

I would say anyone can realistically manage in most cases. My partner is a full time uni student working 16 hours in sainsburys and I'm a stay at home mum. We pay £625.00 a month rent and don't get any benefits. We get child benefit of £20 a week and tax credit of about £130.

People who earn 30 grand a year plus and say they can't afford to stay at home etc just seem crazy to me. I think it all depends on whats important to you. Yes we have no money but we are very happy. I would much rather be here with my son every day not missing anything than out working full time for the sake of a few extra hundred pounds a month.

I second car boot sales/ charity shops/ ebay. My son has the best of everything but most of it second hand. He has more toys than anyone I know because I buy them for bargain prices. All his clothes are new as I always buy them in the sale and with discount codes!

You are getting £150 in benefits !

justcat

bunny999 wrote: »

You are getting £150 in benefits !

I wanted to say but I thought best not to!

chloe99_2

This is one of my gripes actually - if only one partner works and the other does not, and the working partner does not earn up to a certain (believe me fairly generous) threshold, your money will be topped up in tax credits.

So unless you have a very large mortgage or huge debt repayments, almost anyone can afford a baby on one income, in which case you would not need to pay for childcare.

Maybe it depends on what you mean by afford?

third_time_lucky

It's amazing how well you can manage on very little money when you have to. My hubby lost his job 3 weeks after we found out I was expecting, so all our plans went up the swanny. But we're doing surprisingly well considering that he's in a much lower paid job (although we still don't qualify for any benefits :mad:)

Your life will turn upside down when you have a baby and your priorities will change, so you can't easily plan for what might happen in several years time. These are my top tips for getting through the early months/years

1. Borrow. If you have family or friends with small children, see if you can borrow baby clothes/equipment from them. Most parents have a stash and are usually happy to oblige. I got offered the use of 6 moses baskets!
2. Buy second hand. Find you nearest NCT sales and go along. visit nct.org .uk, and find when they're on - usually twice a year in each location. £1 entry gets you loads of bargains. Go to the ones in the more upmarket towns, and arrive early to get the best stuff. You can pick up virtually everything there, but what is at each sale is down to luck. The only thing you must buy brand new is a cot mattress.
3. If you know someone wants to get you a present, ask for things you actually need.
4. Breastfeed if you can. Breastmilk is free and formula is £7+ per tub (and not allowed to go on offer grrrr) - you'll use 1-2 tubs per week as baby grows.
5. Until baby is born, only buy what you absolutely need. Despite us both living on only my meagre salary when I was pregnant, I still managed to save a bit by spending as little as possible. It's amazing what a cheapskate you can become when you need to!
6. Keep an eye out for special offers, then stock up. You know you'll use mountains of wipes, so buy loads when a good deal is on.

For most people, there is never a 'good' time to have a baby. Just keep your head screwed on, and you'll find a way to manage even if things seem to be going wrong.

dizziblonde

Factor in the cost of a million and one pregnancy tests if you're going to start trying - your brain turns to mush... you see symptoms in your tea leaves, in the bathwater and everything is a "oooh it might be a symptom" and the peeing on a stick addiction is a very real danger if you don't get up-duffed straight away

honeypop

chloe99 wrote: »

This is one of my gripes actually - if only one partner works and the other does not, and the working partner does not earn up to a certain (believe me fairly generous) threshold, your money will be topped up in tax credits.

I read this on here a lot, yes tax credits add to your income, but not in every situation is it enough. A 'top up' is an amount needed to restore something to its former level, so no tax credits doesn't top up your money to it's former level.
For us - a normal couple with a basic standard of living - tax credits add barely anything to our income, and certainly not enough to prevent me having to return to work. It doesn't top up our income to that needed to cover outgoings, or anywhere near. My DH earns £25k, our mortgage and bills are as low as we can get them.

That is one of my gripes, people saying tax credits make having a baby very affordable because the mother needn't return to work and therefore wouldn't need childcare. Not getting at you personally, just everyone who says it.