Estranged man's cremation/burial expenses

dizzie

My most morbid post so far, but here goes:

My father is the most unpleasant, controlling and vindictive man I have ever known. Over a decade ago, my mum managed to leave him and start divorce proceedings (though she was advised to go into hiding by her solicitor due to his unpredictable behaviour!). My sister and I were already estranged from him.

None of us have any intentions of having anything more to do with this man who made our lives such a misery.

The question I have is whether myself or my sister can be forced by the authorities to accept responsibility for his funeral arrangements and/or expenses, when he dies. (He was, amongst other things, bordering on being a vexacious litigant and he was made bankrupt after a string of court cases he brought failed and he was ordered to pay costs).

Sorry to anyone to whom this sounds cold and heartless. But it was a relief to finally be rid of him in life so I feel strongly that I don't wish to have anything to do with him in death.

Thanks

NAR

Simple answer is no. His estate is first call for funeral expenses.

dizzie

Thanks NAR,

I wouldn't have the first idea whether he has any estate or the value of it if he has. If it isn't enough to cover this expenses, can they claim the rest from us?

tandraig

no you arent liable for his funeral expenses - just dont take responsibility for the body. if he hasnt any assets then the local authorities as far as i am aware will cremate him. unless of course he has left a will naming you as executors, but the solicitor will explain things if he has no assets or they wont cover the cost. there is also a grant available i believe - but am not sure how you would qualify. look on direct.gov for more info on that.

paddy's_mum

Just to add that even if you are named in a will as executor, you cannot be forced to accept those duties. You are permitted to decline to act so don't worry that the man who fathered you can compel you to act in ways that he dictates, even from beyond the grave!

tandraig

you are right there paddys mum - my mother declined being executor of my nans estate due to ill health, but anyone can decline on any grounds.

JoW123

Whoever is responsible for collecting the death certificate and registering the death is then held responsible for the funeral and associated costs. You can decline to do any of this without giving any reason whatsoever, in which case it will be done by the state at minimum cost. I work for the NHS and this has happened with patients who are estranged from their families or even with family around who did not want to take responsibility for whatever reason.

Hope this helps

onetomany

no my real mum who was a nasty peice of work died around the 13th november and was found on the 9th, i couldnt afford to take on the funeral cost , so it was handed over to the council, who sorted out the funeral, house etc , ment i didnt have a say in dessions but they did try to follow my wishes,

i no how you feel about soundinhg hateless etc i thought the same about my situation i was relived no one else could get hurt, but i do feel sad for what i i/my kids didnt have

dizzie

Thanks everyone for your replies - they are much appreciated.