Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

beanielou

Have a happy 2016
Happy saving!

safehouse

Hello Elephant,
Thankyou for your post, it gives me comfort to know I am not alone in regards to people with very similar struggles and I commend your strength with your OH and making a change for the better.
I totally agree with your views of being an enabler, I believe over the years I have been so worn down or just took what I thought was the easier route for a peaceful life. I have lost my identity and didn’t have the strength “mentally” to make a stand, by doing this I have allowed him to carry on with his behaviour and walk all over me time and time again. He is still shocked and annoyed that I have aired our dirty laundry, his view is we, meaning I should have kept it all in house even whilst reaching breaking point, but I have refused to apologise and would do the same again. Well, maybe I wouldn’t go to his family for support again as their solution is to supply him with the very poison that is ruining our lives. I would turn to my family for support and he knowing this might just give him that wakeup call he needs who knows?
2016 is the year I carryon making a stand and the year I start working on me and not him.
I know I am far from calm waters and have a hell of a mountain to climb, but I feel like I have a weight lifted at least now because I refuse to live a life of covering for him and putting on a bravado, very much like you did and maybe who knows I might get my happy ending also.
Again Thankyou for your lovely words of support. I hope 2016 gives you many happy happy days……………………………………..

Savvy_sewing

safehouse wrote: »

Hello Elephant,
Thankyou for your post, it gives me comfort to know I am not alone in regards to people with very similar struggles and I commend your strength with your OH and making a change for the better.
I totally agree with your views of being an enabler, I believe over the years I have been so worn down or just took what I thought was the easier route for a peaceful life. I have lost my identity and didn’t have the strength “mentally” to make a stand, by doing this I have allowed him to carry on with his behaviour and walk all over me time and time again. He is still shocked and annoyed that I have aired our dirty laundry, his view is we, meaning I should have kept it all in house even whilst reaching breaking point, but I have refused to apologise and would do the same again. Well, maybe I wouldn’t go to his family for support again as their solution is to supply him with the very poison that is ruining our lives. I would turn to my family for support and he knowing this might just give him that wakeup call he needs who knows?
2016 is the year I carryon making a stand and the year I start working on me and not him.
I know I am far from calm waters and have a hell of a mountain to climb, but I feel like I have a weight lifted at least now because I refuse to live a life of covering for him and putting on a bravado, very much like you did and maybe who knows I might get my happy ending also.
Again Thankyou for your lovely words of support. I hope 2016 gives you many happy happy days……………………………………..

Good Luck. We will all be behind you x

beanielou

Positive vibes to you safehouse

Eager_Elephant

We have been to panto today - it was excellent, I got the tickets last week and as I was paying this year I opted for cheaper seats than last year but we still had a really good view.
They have a panto on at Easter and as DH and I love them so much I am going to find the money to get tickets.


My 1st NSD for January - I found change on DHs bedside table for the car park and told the kids they could only have McDonalds if DH paid as I have no money and need a NSD!!


Not been doing much else today - the house looks like a bomb has gone off and I am back to work on Monday.


As I am doing the washing I am sorting out my clothes ready for charity shop as I have more than I need. I really need to get the bedroom sorted so if tomorrow is rainy then I will do it then - if it's nice then I will be on the allotment!!

Savvy_sewing

Glad you had a good time.

mary_hinge

All together now................It's behind you!! :rotfl::rotfl:I love a good panto!

Eager_Elephant

Another NSD for me!!


Have mainly been at home all day - DH washed up and took the Xmas tree down while I cleaned under the bed:eek:. Then I helped DH put all the decorations in new plastic storage boxes all colour co-ordinated:p
I definitely think we have too many decorations!!


While sorting the bedroom I decided that the ottoman that lives at the bottom of the bed needs to go as it takes up to much room.
I Kon-Mari'd my airing cupboard last year and had a shelf empty and I kept pondering on keeping my bed linen in there and today I finally did it. I sorted the airing cupboard out again as we have far too many towels and then Kon-Mari'd the bed linen - we all have 3 sets we like and the rest went to an animal rescue place with the unwanted towels.
The blankets we use in the summer have done with the sleeping bags right at the top of the airing cupboard - chair needed to get to it!!


DS met up with some old school friends today so when I dropped him off I took 2 bin bags to the animal rescue which was on the way.


The ottoman has gone downstairs ready to go out to DH's shed when it is dry - he wants it to put wood in:D


The lounge look lovely without the tree up - DH had moved the sofas before Xmas and I think we will keep them like that for now until we can afford a corner suite.


Also visited relative today - I email him a list of Xmas/birthday presents and he orders them. He ordered some bits from Amaz0n and 1 parcel is coming from America and has not arrived still. I suggested he check and see what the delivery date is - while he was logged in I noticed that a 2nd gift should have arrived and hadn't although some of the parcel had.
He ordered 2 Xbox live memberships, but only 1 arrived and he had not even noticed. The one that arrived was given to DS but when he tried to enter it there was an error code that said it had already been used:mad: so I requested a return to Amaz0n and posted it back.
I did an online chat wit Amaz0n about it all (relative had ordered from a seller and not from Amaz0n direct) and they have refunded relative even without having the faulty one back and also the one that is missing has been refunded even though the delivery date was early Dec - it was very good customer service we received.


The bedroom is still a mess but I will have to do bits when I can each evening.
Need to make sure that I have time to do surveys and committee stuff - I think I need to break my week down to set time aside for things I need to do including watch TV, we record loads and never have time to watch anything.


Have managed to pay £10 to c/c today - this was upstairs in a pot doing nothing so spent it on animal food and then transferred money from that budget to my credit card.
Hopefully will be able to pay more to it tomorrow once all my DD's have come out.

Eager_Elephant

Today was a very spendy day but all planned in advance - needed petrol (should last 10 days), DS needed his monthly bus ticket to college, I needed some bits from the supermarket - need to update grocery budget), I swapped a Xmas present of DD's and had to pay £1.99 to cover the extra cost plus just had to top up school dinner money for DD ready for tomorrow.


DD won't eat packed lunch as she says the sandwiches/rolls/wraps taste funny if they have been in a lunch box half a day, we tried pasta salads but that was also wasted so for the sake of family harmony she has school dinners, the good thing is that the school do amazing dinners and most of the time DD buys meal of the day with extra veg so it's a win win situation.



Most of the monthly payments came out today - I was so excited to see money going to the Help2Buy ISA that I had to log in to it and check the money was there:rotfl:


Will reconcile my payments with YNAB tomorrow and make an extra payment to the credit card tomorrow before the statement is produced this week.


Found an old H&M card at the weekend and looked online, there is £15 on it I had a quick look in there today but not much in so will look later in the week as the card will probably expire soon as not use it for nearly 2 years.

brizzledfw

Good to see all the progress EE :T