Toddler vs sleeping!

Felicity

Hi, my son used to wake at 10 or 11pm EVERY night, always. I assumed he was hungry and was giving him a bottle of milk. He would go back off to sleep again and then sleep through.

He is now 26 months old and about 6 months ago I was at the end of my tether and spoke to my health visitor about it.

She told me he had got into a habbit that was very hard to break and recommended I disturbed him one hour before he would be due to wake. NOT wake him up but just gently nudge him so he stirred and went straight back to sleep.

I thought she was mad but I tried it and have never looked back since. I was told to do it for 3 nights in a row and that worked a treat.

He (normally, apart from illness etc) now sleeps from 6pm till between 6:30 and 8am.

It sounds silly but please do try it (lol, you will need to set your alarm early for a few nights) but hopefully will that will work for you as well as it did for me.

I always assumed our little boy was hungry and really needed an extra bottle so late at night but that turned out not to be the case at all.

Good luck!

Counting_Pennies_2

I'm afraid it could just be a phase.

You mention a bottom issue, so maybe he is a little sore, have you tried cream? He might be waking when he does a wee if it stings it might wake him and then be scared and not want to go to sleep without you.

My daughter has done various wakings in the night, and I go in and feel sorry for her, for one reason or another, teeth, bronchiolitis, poor tummy, hungry, you name it these last two years! But then a habit forms and it takes ages to break it.

You might have to go through sleep training, doing the going out and back in again every five minutes or so. Saying it is 'bed time now, night night'.

You might even need to send the other two away for a few nights while you just let him cry it out, a friend of mine did that with both her children to break habits.

I have even found getting very firm with her and saying mummy is very tired I need my sleep now please don't call out again, and amazingly that worked!

Sorry not to have much to help, but hope you find a solution.

xxvickixx

I am so glad it is not just us still having slepp issues at 2 years old. Dylan has slept through the night until 5am about 10 times. Every other night he has woken between 2 and 6 times. My DH and I are exhausted. I am fortunate enough to be a SAHM as I would not be able to hold down a job being this tired.

We tried the wake to sleep method (rousing them an hour before waking) but the problem we had was that there was not really a set time that he would wake, so we tried a few randomly selected times but it didn't help.

We tried reward charts - initially very sucessful but after a few days went back to square one.

Have tried stuffing him with as much food as possible before bed - no difference.

Also tried putting him to bed really late (10pm) for a few nights, just had a grotty toddler in the evening and no improvement on sleep.

He no longer has his nap in the day - about a week now he has not had one, before then he would resist his nap and even that was difficult to get him to sleep.

We generally put him back to bed, no chat, just tell him it's bed time etc. He's in a bed now as could climb out of a cotbed so he comes into our room. After about 4am we bring him into bed with us and I BF him but I refuse this in the night. He does get a drink of water in the night if he is thirsty. Our HV has said that there is medication that can help him to sleep but it doesn't seem right for us and would not be happy about going down this route.

So sorry OP to hijack our thread but this week has been so awful that I just had to tell someone about it. My friends with children the same age have no trouble and aren't much help and my parents just say that I was like it until I was 3.

I'm going to go back to the GP in the new year and see if they can refer us to a sleep clinic as I have tried everything I can think of - any thoughts or ideas would be great - have I missed something?

Happy New Year to you all and hope you get more sleep in 2010. xx

Ruby_Moon

Curious_George wrote: »

previously my son was a very good sleeper, through the night from about a month old no matter how long he napped during the day,
he turned 2 in early november and this sleeping pattern remained the case until about a month ago...

All of a sudden he started crying at anywhere between 5 - 6.30am and once he starts thats it, the only thing that stops him is one of us getting up with him, the infuriating thing is that once down stairs he will fall asleep on you!

Ive had no sleep at all tonight, i went to bed late, tossed and turned due to a pain in my back and he started crying and shouting at 3.30am! i went in to him, resettled him and calmed him down 4 or 5 times until i admitted defeat an hour later and brought him downstairs, ive changed his bum and put him in his buggy and the little bleeder is fast asleep! i know im not doing myself any favours by bringing him down here but he will NOT stop shouting and theres 2 other people in the house, one of whom works and the other is only 9 and will be back to school soon so needs her sleep too,
At least down here i know i can get on the sofa until the rest of the world wakes up but i dont want to be down here... its lovely and warm with my OH, its a bit chilly down here and the hamster is bloody noisy! (but typically this doesnt bother him... he has slept through the smoke alarm outside his room going off before now)

he has had a bit of diarrhea over christmas and has all of a sudden gone funny about his nappy being off (he crosses his legs and complains because he hates it when he wees and it runs down them! - its going to be a joy potty training this one!! :rolleyes:)
but thats the only thing thats changed, not a change of room, temp, bedding, lighting, how we leave the door etc
hes not hungry, thirsty, cold, hot, wet etc

Do any of you have any techniques for me to try so he sleeps through again... at least til nearer 7!

Yes, ignore him.
You are giving in to him and giving him exactly what he wants and so he will do it all the more and will do it earlier and earlier too.
He isn't hungry. He is waking up in the middle of the night and we don't wake up in the middle of the night as humans because we are hungry.
When he wakes up ignore him. You know he is fine and know he won't come to any harm.
If you are concerned about him waking the household then go into the room, tell him he is being disrespectful and his behaviour is not acceptable and tell him off and tell him to get back to sleep.
Keep this up for a couple of nights and he will get the message. You say you have tried this but noone gets any sleep. You aren't gettnig any sleep doing it the other way either.
You need to be consistant and determined. A 2 year old should not be ruling over the house.

Curious_George_2

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

Yes, ignore him.
You are giving in to him and giving him exactly what he wants and so he will do it all the more and will do it earlier and earlier too.
He isn't hungry. He is waking up in the middle of the night and we don't wake up in the middle of the night as humans because we are hungry.
When he wakes up ignore him. You know he is fine and know he won't come to any harm.
If you are concerned about him waking the household then go into the room, tell him he is being disrespectful and his behaviour is not acceptable and tell him off and tell him to get back to sleep.
Keep this up for a couple of nights and he will get the message. You say you have tried this but noone gets any sleep. You aren't gettnig any sleep doing it the other way either.
You need to be consistant and determined. A 2 year old should not be ruling over the house.

ooooh your harsh... can you come do it for me? lol
im not sure giving him a speech about being disrespectful will help but i know what your saying,
the thing is on the nights i have totally ignored him he really hasnt stopped, i left him crying for what seemed like hours once because i was determined not to get up when i knew he didnt actually want anything, and then i felt awful for leaving him to get so upset he probably couldnt get back to sleep anyway...

it was 6am this morning, and my OH got up with him so i could get a few extra z's... god job we were not drinking last night!

i will do my best to speak to him tonight and tell him it has to stop, and i will warn OH and DD that it might get a bit noisy for a few nights

xxvickixx - sorry your having such a rough time, its exhausting isnt it.... it wont last though, it cant....*fingers crossed*
my problem is that up until just before christmas he was a perfectly good sleeper... usually 8 til 8, i just cant figure out what changed!

thanks to everyone who has answered, im going to try sleep training from tonight... it WILL work!

Sarahsaver

Gurious george you are right, Ignoring children is cruel. there is research to back up that 'controlled crying' affects brain development. Supernanny may do it but that doesnt make it right. I have every sympathy with you i have a son who did not sleep through til the age of 7 due to health and developmental issues.
i just used to lie on the sofa and let him play quietly if he got up before 7am i would have that as my time to 'get into action' so to speak the least he slept once was 4 hours so i do know what you are going through.

lauhen

Curious_George wrote: »

previously my son was a very good sleeper, through the night from about a month old no matter how long he napped during the day,
he turned 2 in early november and this sleeping pattern remained the case until about a month ago...

All of a sudden he started crying at anywhere between 5 - 6.30am and once he starts thats it, the only thing that stops him is one of us getting up with him, the infuriating thing is that once down stairs he will fall asleep on you!

Ive had no sleep at all tonight, i went to bed late, tossed and turned due to a pain in my back and he started crying and shouting at 3.30am! i went in to him, resettled him and calmed him down 4 or 5 times until i admitted defeat an hour later and brought him downstairs, ive changed his bum and put him in his buggy and the little bleeder is fast asleep! i know im not doing myself any favours by bringing him down here but he will NOT stop shouting and theres 2 other people in the house, one of whom works and the other is only 9 and will be back to school soon so needs her sleep too,
At least down here i know i can get on the sofa until the rest of the world wakes up but i dont want to be down here... its lovely and warm with my OH, its a bit chilly down here and the hamster is bloody noisy! (but typically this doesnt bother him... he has slept through the smoke alarm outside his room going off before now)

he has had a bit of diarrhea over christmas and has all of a sudden gone funny about his nappy being off (he crosses his legs and complains because he hates it when he wees and it runs down them! - its going to be a joy potty training this one!! :rolleyes:)
but thats the only thing thats changed, not a change of room, temp, bedding, lighting, how we leave the door etc
hes not hungry, thirsty, cold, hot, wet etc

Do any of you have any techniques for me to try so he sleeps through again... at least til nearer 7!

I have a daughter who is 7 and a son who is just 3, my daughter went through phases of waking in the night and the final answer was giving her a pillow to sleep on when she was about 2 and a half or 3 i think. Since then she wakes if she is ill, fireworks the usual. On the otherhand my 3 year old is a completely different story, he never slept through the night until he was 2 and a half, now he does and only wakes if he is ill etc. My son has some development issues, so i found with him that i had to keep changing routine, but stick to the routine that i changed to, i totally refused to let him cry, although he never really cried just tended to chat, i figure i would rather spend half an hour singing a lullaby or giving him a drink or changing his bottom etc and go back to sleep after, then be up for hours. Do what you feel is right, check all the obvious, then check for the not so obvious, it could just be a simple thing in his routine that needs adjusting. I know that after my son is ill, it takes a few days to adjust back. Is your child cold, are they over tired (this can make them wake), are they hungry, thirsty, wet, is there room to hot, do they need a pillow, do you need to change the time they go to bed, do you need to adjust naps in the day, do you need to adapt the bedtime routine, just some suggestions for you.

Curious_George_2

its times like this i remember why i love these boards

thanks everyone, you have all been really helpful

lauhen

I hope you find the answer soon.

flea72

having two children who slept through the night, from the day they were born, i always thought other people who complained their children didnt sleep, were obviously doing something wrong - 'omg, you get in their bed every night?', 'you let them stay up til 10pm?', etc., etc.

now having a child, who wakes at least 5 or more times a night, ive just come to the conclusion, theres nothing you can do as a parent to make them sleep, if they are not tired, or have the inclination to stay in bed

ive tried controlled crying, i can quite happily leave mine to scream for a good hour, unlike alot of parents who feel bad leaving their kids to whimper for 2secs, before they the adult, starts blubbing too - but she still wont sleep - However leaving a child to scream at 3am, does not go down well with my neighbours, so not only do we have a child testing our patience, the banging on the wall adds to it!

ive sat by her bed, hoping she will feel reassured and nod off - 4hrs later, ive got a freezing, stiff arm, and shes still playing 'peep-po' and wide awake

ive brought her into my bed, thinking, well at least if were all in bed together she might given in, relax and we can all have a peaceful night - but after having your eyelids prized open by an inquisitive finge, every time you shut them, and then as they try to get comfy, kick you in the head, as of course, its so much more comfortable for a child to lay upside down, on top of the covers, things really start to wear thin

Tbh i cant wait til DD3 becomes a teenager, as hopefully then the sleep all day instinct will naturally kick in

whether im still sane in 11yrs time though, is another matter

F