Venting my anger about flat and partner.

Nicklt

Hi, first off this is just me venting my anger out about things that have been annoying me the past couple of days.

The flat we live in i....well...hate, it's cold, damp and generally grubby, this isn't out fault, the bathroom is vile its about 2 foor by 6 foot (no joke) it has mold all over it and the showe is horrible, no matter how much i clean it it's still horrible. Theres alot of damp and mold in the flat which we didnt notice initially because the weather was warm but when it started raining and getting colder it's got really bad and nothing seems to make it any better. There a constant feel of damp in the air and its always cold even having the heating on all the time. Really when we viewed the flat i should of looked around better i only looked for arounf 5 mins so it's partly my fault for not checking everything thoroughly, and when we moved in we where given the paperwork that has the info about insulation etc and all the rating where 'Very Poor'. We've decided to move in January because our lease is up, but at the moment its really getting on my nerves.

Next, my partner, who i love loads and shes a great mum etc but she don't half annoy me sometimes. She goes to college and i work, currently shes on xmas hols from college so is at home all day and our daughter goes to nursery all day. I go to work so my partner is on her own all day pretty much, yet she doesn't seem to do anything, now i don't demand that she does the tidying but seeing as im at work all day i would expect her to do some, yet she doesn't. I dont mind doing tidying up when i get home but when i get home and nothing been done and shes just watched TV all day it annoys me a bit, at the moment the flat is a complete tip, i've got the flu so im at home at the moment my father has come round to take my daughter out for the day and my partner has gone with so im going to try and do the tidying while they are out. My partner has this attitude though that i don't do anything, i personally think i do loads for her, i make her dinner, get her chocolate from the shop at 9pm because shes got none left, do the tidying, collect out daughter from college, whenever she wants anything (clothes etc) i get it for her or give her my bank card and tell her to go get it. Yet she does nothing for me really, last night i asked her to get me a drink of water because my throat was killing, she got kind of annoyed at me for asking her to do this. She goes to college four day a week and only has two full days out of those four and she goes on about how tired she is and when i get home she get annoyed when my daughter starts playing up and say "i've been at college today im too tired to put up with you moaning" yet i got to work 9-5 (like millions of us do) 5 days a week and still look after our daughter.

When i do tidy up she will go around the next day moving the stuff from where i have put because i have "put it in the wrong place" but she wont put it away, she put it in a pile in the corner etc which makes more mess.

gordikin

Happy Christmas!

LemonGrove

gordikin wrote: »

Happy Christmas!

:rotfl: :T

CHR15

Nicklt wrote: »

. I go to work so my partner is on her own all day pretty much, yet she doesn't seem to do anything,.

That sums up marriage perfectly (of course she claims she has been busy all day so when you get home you should take over everything).

trumpton

Assuming that you can rule out a medical condition, like depression, to explain her behaviour, had you thought about a rota or dividing up the tasks? It's a bit studenty, but at least she would know what she was supposed to be responsible for and you could take her to task about specific things. Or maybe you could both do half an hour together as soon as you get in from work every night to stop it piling up. You could make it a New Year resolution.

I do sympathise - I am bone idle too and you don't always realise how trying it is for your partner to come home to a messy house when you have had plenty of time to tidy up. I would try to sell her the idea that you will both feel so much better when the flat is tidy - being surrounded by clutter and mess is depressing and makes you more lethargic. Plus, once it piles up it's hard to get motivated to sort it out because you feel outfaced by it all.

As for the flat - it doesn't sound fit to live in tbh, so I'm glad to hear you are moving.

Have a lovely Christmas with your daughter.

kivsy

If you are that unhappy - leave the flat and the relationship!!! You are the only person that can change things

dampdaveski

Nick mate,
You need to sort your life out!
You are going to end up being a statistic.
1. Give notice on your flat - find somewhere else
2. tell your partner she's a lazy idle biffer
3. next time you make her dinner flatulate on it before you serve it up (or belch i'll leave it to your discretion):D not very productive to be honest BUT it will relieve the pressure in more ways than one!!
4.Next flat you look at, make it last more than 5 minutes
5. On a serious note make sure your daughters needs are catered for 100% - She is far more important than your relationship!!
6. when you goto work take the power lead for the TV
7.you havn't got the flu you have a bad cold, if you had the flu you would be unable to stand up never mind tidy the sh##hole of a flat your lazy bone idle girlfriend shares with you
8. You need to decide whether you want to stay in this relationship, from your post I sense a lot of sadness. SORT IT OUT for your daughter sake
9. Seriously I wish you all the best in your forthcoming life choices. I hope you get what you want, whatever that may be!!
10. Remember your partner looks at you - Your daughter looks upto and to you for guidance!1
That was a bit heavy
Merry Christmas
DD

alison999

The house that we used to live in was really damp. It was that bad that we left half way through the tenancy, making sure I took pics of all the damp places it also affected our health and I noticed you said youve got the flu, when we lived in the old house we all had coughs and colds all the time and my asthma had returned with a vengence.

The damp smell (i swear i could taste it too) will ALWAYS be there so dont waste money on all the air freshners because they do anything for long.

Is your o/h depressed at all? When I worked part time, I used to be tidying up all the time on my days off but when my depression started I just didnt have hte energy for it (its hard to explain) and even now I have to force myself to get it done. Also whats her diet like? If shes eating that much chocolate then she probably wont have a lot of energy. Obviously as a girl theres days where you need chocolate lol but not every day. If she eats !!!! she will feel like !!!!.

I think you need to have a sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Usually if I cook my o/h will wash up or the other way around. He'll hoover up, Ill mop up or again maybe the other way around, maybe you could draw up a rota?

Hope you feel better soon.:beer:

PopeSock

Next time you buy her chocolate, use a cheese grater to grate it and spread it all over the house. She'll have to lick it up off the floor, thereby cleaning the flat as she gets her chocolate fix. Hey presto - problem solved. I wonder why I don't have my own TV show.