advice wanted on roman catholic religion

tifkitten

was wondering if anyone could answer a question for me...my daughter was due to have her Holy Communion soon, but she missed her confirmation as we were on hoilday, the hoilday had been booked for about a year before as me & her stepdad got married on the hoilday...the school granted us permission for the hoilday...but on returning we realised we had missed the confirmation and contacted the father of the school church, but he has refused to confirm my daughter so she will not be able to have her holy communion, my daughter has completed all the rest of the programme. I have 3 other children who have all had their holy communion at the same school...I myself & their stepdad are not R.C. & we both work full time shift work therefore we dont attend mass very often (which I believe is frowned upon) but that is not my childrens fault.
So I was wondering if I could contact another Father & see if they would confirm my daughter & if she could join their Holy communion.

princess

Hi Tifkitten,
I'm wondering if there may be some confusion here.
Certainly your daughter does not have to be confirmed to make her first holy communion. What would normally happen is that she would make her first confession before the communion, probably a couple of months before. Confirmation is usually when children are 15ish ( ie at an age where they decide to make a personal committment and are old enough to know what they are doing.)
Could you be confusing confession with confirmation?
You could try another priest and your daughter may be able to join in with a group from a different school, or it might be more straight forward to wait until next year and do it with next years intake from her own school. What did the priest suggest? Does the schools head teacher have any suggestions? Good luck - I hope you find someone who is able to help you.

tifkitten

Thanks for the reply....I dont think I am getting confused...my daughter has followed the sacremental programme which she has already undertaken confession....I think in some areas of the country they do the programme at different ages....my daughter is 8...the father has suggested she retake the whole programme next year, but my daughter is upset as she wanted to take her holy communion with all her year & friends...

bikerqueen

You don't get confirmed before you do holy communion.

Baptism
First confession
First Holy Communion
Confirmation

If it makes sense, baptism welcomes the baby to the church (by parents/godparent commitment), first confession is necessary to "purify your soul" before taking communion, first holy communion is the next step at becoming a full member of the church. Kids need to be trained in what it means, Confirmation, usually when the child's a teenager, backs up everything done in the previous ceremonies.

I think you need to check it out a bit further

tifkitten

The part of the sacrament programme that my daughter missed was The sacrament of confirmation, this is were she would have choosen her confirmation name....as I myself am not R.C. & none of my other children are in there teens I am a bit unsure whether they are confirmed again when they are 15 (ish) ??

bikerqueen

they arent. along with baptism it's one of the "once in a life time opportunity' things. You do it once, and never again! Unless she has done her first communion they wont confirm her. If she has done her first communion (the bit with the pretty frocks and cake) then they might confirm her early (I was "done" early due to an over enthusiastic bishop) in which case missing the education is like anything really, if the school don't offer an alternative, you need to ask them how you can help her prepare for the sacrement. As you don't go yourself, this would probably be through another church route as they would be the experts.

tifkitten

Thanks for the reply....I believe it is carried out different in my part of the country....my daughters R.C. church (which is connected to her school) wont let her do her first communion (the pretty frock & cake) because she has missed the sacrament of confirmation ceremony ( the one were my daughter chooses her confirmation name).

Lady_E

Very interested to know whereabouts you are in the country, are you able to divulge? Then maybe we can help further. To the best of my knowledge , the Confirmation is after the First Holy Communion, when you have a sponser who acts as a mentor when you elect your Saints name, to add to your Baptisimal names.

tifkitten

yes, the part of the sacrement programme my daughter has missed is when she has a mentor & elects a saints name, without this part she is not allowed to undertake her first communion...I live in Lancashire

eddie_2-2

I agree with the other posters and back up what they say about the order.
You do not get confirmed before you take your First Holy Communion.
Are you sure, like Pricess says, that there isn't some confusion between confession and confirmation?
Furthermore, I'm not aware of any differences in Roman Catholicism in Lancashire to the rest of the U.K.
What does the Head Teacher say about it?

tifkitten

It,s definately the way I have explained it....my 3 other children have all been through the sacramental programme, all have been through confession & all have had a mentor & all have elected staints names during the sacrament of confirmation, which was carried out before their first communion, this was carried out abount when they were 8 years old.
The head teacher just supports the father & offers no help.