ex's message

Soap_2

an old partner contacted me after seeing me online. the messages were long and upsetting, i know the relationship wasn't good but so many revelations , so many new feelings revealed that I didn't know he'd felt , so many awful comments.

i can understand messaging me to say don't mention me or my family but how can someone be so cruel?

Taunting me with how he almost cheated and other nasty things . claiming i'd not changed.. the old me put a brave face on and buried everything but I just want to talk to my old counsellor as he always listened and was harsh but fair.
i meet people more than ever and they usually think i'm nice and ok yet i'm still being punished for being ill when i dated him.

I know I was to blame for the split cos i didn't look after myself and made him miserable but how can he hate me so much when he is happy and won? He has wife , love , family and a normal life. He also said not to turn up at his work and home , i don't know where he works or lives and hardly go out , haven't contacted him since we split so why say such a crazy thing?

I've been told by people to forget the messages but i've not slept all week and the fact i've hardly eaten means i'm seriously sad.
he was a ghost but by coming back he's full bodied again. i feel sick

quietheart

He's obviously very messed up and clearly unhappy. He's using you to hit out at, you really do have to ignore and move on. There's no other option. Just be glad he's an ex and not current.......

shellsuit

Reply and say "still an arrrshole I see", and block his messages.

Or reply and say "do I know you?!" and block him.

Either way, it's not worth getting upset over, ignore the prat xx

onetomany

yea block him hun x and dont blame ur self x

Soap_2

I will ignore him but i know he IS happy with new wife so can't understand why he said so much.

i'm gonna really try and forget it all now but i wish he understood why it went wrong , how much i wanted to fix things but was just too lost. i didn't do anything due to malice.
its pointless but i wish he didnt hate me as looking back i know i hurt him by being useless but i would have given him my kidney:(

kicking me when down is just horrible.

thanks for replies:A

Running_Horse

Soap wrote: »

I know I was to blame for the split cos i didn't look after myself and made him miserable but how can he hate me so much when he is happy and won?

It takes two to make a relationship fail or succeed. And if he "won", why is he so obsessed with an ex instead of getting on with his marriage? The best way to get at him is ignore the idiot and build up your new life.

Soap_2

Running_Horse wrote: »

It takes two to make a relationship fail or succeed. And if he "won", why is he so obsessed with an ex instead of getting on with his marriage? The best way to get at him is ignore the idiot and build up your new life.

counsellor said that but it was my fault and that is why he said such awful things even though he has been with same partner since month we split.
i can't change the past. i hugged him the day he collected his stuff from my house , he felt squidgy. other women would have sworn at him or shouted. i couldn't because i still loved him.
i'm supposed to be organising christmas for everyone but feel too distraught. i just need to mope for a bit then i will be ok. i was getting on with life before last week

ManOnTheMoon

Don't respond, it's what he wants. Doesn't sound like he has the lovely life you think he has, or he wouldn't still be lashing out at you unprovoked.

tandraig

his life is crap hun - but yours isnt. he is trying to hit you where it hurts. do NOT give him the satisfaction of answering him!! this is what he wants. everything he says could be lies. you answer and you will have yourself an online stalker. DO NOT answer him - then block him.
and then forget him. he is not worth your tears or your time.

neneromanova

if you have contact or can get contact i.e Facebook, copy and paste the message to her and just put a little note asking does she know why he is contacting you?

Or just ignore it. But i prefer the first, but then again I can be a right b*tch once scorned

Soap_2

It wasn't via FB , was via a forum that I didn't know he used. I'd NEVER contact him or whoever his wife is although I do wonder why she was ok with him contacting me. His life is much better than mine but I wish he would stop making me out to be some awful witch when the truth is-I did my best .
We went through SO much together and I replied because he said too many untrue things for me to ignore. He replied , I then felt anger and sent a long message telling him to leave me alone. He has.
I did a lot for him but he can't see it and if him and his family want to paint me as a horrible woman-I must accept it and move on.

He has everything he wants and i'm like a baby as i've a messy life that i'm working hard to change. It took a long time to forget our plans and silly ideas of children i'd had . Why he couldn't be gracious in his victory is beyond me.

Thanks for all the replies! Have a good christmas , i'm going to try.