Decided I am going for bankruptcy and house repossession

kerrypn

Frighteningly so actually-the person who posted here said something along the lines of his friends knew where OP could get a cardboard box :eek:

I hope none of them ever face financial difficulty-at least OP did try to shoulder the debt after his ex walked away care free and without paying a penny towards their joint debt.

All this after the betrayal too-I think OP should be proud of himself for trying to do something to recover from this.

stradlinho

kerrypn wrote: »

Frighteningly so actually-the person who posted here said something along the lines of his friends knew where OP could get a cardboard box :eek:

I hope none of them ever face financial difficulty-at least OP did try to shoulder the debt after his ex walked away care free and without paying a penny towards their joint debt.

All this after the betrayal too-I think OP should be proud of himself for trying to do something to recover from this.

You've hit the nail directly on the head there Kerry. I shed a tear when I read your reply.

I have struggled for 3 months in a town where I have no-one, working 7 nights a week just to barely meet my outgoings.

I may sound bitter towards my ex but she has walked away and is living the high life whereas I have been in complete hell. She knew I would be committed to paying everything and keeping my credit file perfect.

Nobody knows my current mental condition or the state that I was in last weekend but suffice to say I 'snapped'.

All I am trying to do is make the best out of a completely messed up situation. I have even considered doing something stupid and going to jail where at least I will have a roof over my head and food to eat and would walk straight into accommodation once released.

shazbo

kerrypn wrote: »

Cant believe some of the comments on this other thread :eek:

Mental note not to post on THAT board

Your right Kerrypn their comments were awful, rude and unhelpful obviously if you are paying a mortgage compassion goes out the window!:mad:

MicheH

Hi strad

There's always a way you know. You know there's a way forward that's why you are in the right place asking questions. We're bankrupt, gave our house up for reposession, shot our credit file to pieces, in private rented.. on paper sounds so depressing and dreary. We did what we needed to for our sanity. We hadn't the money to go round what we owed, hadn't the money to keep up the mortgage - it was killing me in my head, panic attacks, worrying over ridiculus things, feeling like I had no where to go, worrying about where we could live. It's a trap, it's all consuming and it seems like there is no way out.

You're having problems right now and you're trying so hard to help yourself out of it. You will get out of it, we just have to help you find the correct way.. but that's where I'm hopeless, i'm not clued up at all. Have you left your mortgaged house now. Are you in rented? I guess if you have decided that the house will need to be reposessed, that you're prepared to have to go bankrupt to cope with the shortfall, knowing that the little debt you have will be gone too - well then you can move on. You can concentrate on trying to find new accommodation, www.gumtree.com is where I found my private rented - I got no joy from the council or social housing but I know people on here who have better social housing policies than we do here.

Keep off that other boar strad, no body needs that - I'm surprised those comments were not reported and deleted, that would not be allowed on 'our' board! Stay with us, ask away.. so many good people who will help you out. Take care of yourself and putting those thoughts away if you can - there's always a way

Tiddlywinks

stradlinho wrote: »

The ex moved out 2 months ago.....She refused to pay anything towards the mortgage. This is a difficult situation for anyone to deal with and you do have my sympathies.

However instead of battling for years to clear the shortfall and my other debts I think my best option is bankruptcy. You've only been in the situation for 2 months that's a bit rash isn't it?

...... I am not prepared to foot all of the bills regarding selling the house and then paying off the shortfall by myself for years just to save my credit rating. It's just not worth it. Only you can be the judge of the "worth" of not having to go down the bankruptcy route.

What kind of things do I need to be doing pre-bankruptcy? So, despite the depression and anxiety it is fortunate that you are still able to "plan" and "focus" on the task in hand :rolleyes:.

As I will be looking at being rehoused by the council, should I settle my utility bills to keep these companies sweet for when this happens ? Is there any advantage in doing this ? Again, nice bit of prior planning here with lots of motivation - unusual with severe depression.

........ to find out the things that a person in my situation (perfect credit rating, between 1 and 2k capital) can do to make the process of bankruptcy and moving on after it as painless as possible. You have some money to keep you going yet you choose not to meet your obligations. Could you not approach your lenders to negotiate repayments? Or get a lodger to help get extra income?

stradlinho wrote: »

...... the fact that it will totally mess up the exes life is 1 of lifes little bonuses !This sounds really bitter - this is the real reason you're doing it isn't it? You don't want to pay your girlfriend's bit as well..

stradlinho wrote: »

In a way I am pleased........ as my ex thought she could walk away from the financial commitment scot-free and is now well and truly ******. She loves her job and would not want to give it up so as she is earning she will end up with a nice IPA for 3 years whereas I won't as I will not be working over the next year at least until I am discharged. Again, you are sounding bitter here and then you show your real intentions - you are not planning on recovering any time soon are you? You intend to stay "on the sick" until after you are discharged - even though you are in the early stages of diagnosis you are planning not to get well - this is what I find really shocking.

My comments are not meant to be "mean" - I know all of you on this board want to help people through the difficult process and so are very supportive BUT I don't think this chap is all he appears to be. This is not intended as an abusive post -just my observations.

So, from what I've read, the OP has just been signed off for four weeks by his GP and so decided to resign from his job (rather than hang on to see how he recovers). He also has some money still in the bank but has decided not to use it to stay in his home.

And, finally, without the aid of a crystal ball or a medical degree he has decided that he will not be fit for work until AFTER the repossession, the bankruptcy and the discharge. That is why I feel he is "playing the system".

I appreciate people get into situations beyond their control and need help to get themselves together again.... and I am not part of the anti-bankruptcy lobby before anyone calls me a bigot BUT this chap seems pretty calculating to me...... and that is my opinion posting on an open and public forum.....

MicheH

Who are you to sift through the posts, paraphrasing and commenting on his words in such a manor! Regardless of what you think the OP is having difficulties and is trying to fathom his way out. He is going to be left with thousands of pounds of shortfall debt for goodness sakes.

nervousmother

Mich, just to throw a spanner in the works...

'They will be left with a shortfall' no him. Now the EX is laible too wether the OP goes BR or not if she has a good job she may well negotiate the shortfall away, it could be as little as 9k and i certainly would not have done what OP has done, now we dont know the financial situation of the ex other than 'she would have to pay a hefty ipa' if she is well off she could re-mortgage and rent it out..

Now, even with his 'mental state' and I have suffered myself before i must add, I still do not think he should make any rash decisions yet. He is obviously hurting from a painful split up, it could be months before the mortgage company go after them 'both' for the shortfall and by that time he could be in a better frame both emotionally and financially.
BR is a emotional and stressful time, If the shortfall was as little as 10k they could both make a offer as full and final or agree to pay an amount per month...

MicheH

I hear you nm, that's why I said I was hopeless at trying to help him find a way out. I agree absolutely no rash decisions. Why couldn't other posters write like you have nm, make the OP see that br doesn't have to be the way, write to show me that I don't have to be so 'kid glove' like. I'm not offended by anything you have said and you have said more than the other posters, gone into more detail of the finances at least.

I just hate this sifting through people's past posts like detectives, picking up on certain things spanning lots of posts, putting them alltogether to make the OP seem devious or scheming in some way. I agree that payback might be on his mind but now he knows that hig partner is also liable - she won't be walking away. Thats why people post here - to get people different advice to help them out of a corner. I've seen it work so many times, people adding their ten penneth worth and low and behold a plan is formed infront of our very eyes.

Ridicule and 'pysco analysis' of people's words is wrong. Opinion yes, in a debate - this isn't a debate, this is a man hurting.

Thanks nm, you've a better understanding then me, you know i'm the emotional type! :rolleyes:

Tiddlywinks

MicheH wrote: »

Who are you to sift through the posts, paraphrasing and commenting on his words in such a manor! Regardless of what you think the OP is having difficulties and is trying to fathom his way out. He is going to be left with thousands of pounds of shortfall debt for goodness sakes.

"Who are you to sift through the comments"? Well, just the same as you, a member of an open forum.

There is a danger here that sympathy can be given to those that need something else. I believe some members have just gone along with the OP rather than considering that he may actually need to approach this in a different way.

The shortfall does look relatively small based on the figures supplied:

Mortgage 91k (House value 75-80k)
Credit Cards 2k
Sofa £150

Shared between the couple it could be as little as £10k (including selling fees) - isn't his immediate knee jerk reaction to leave work and go for repossession and bankruptcy a little over the top? Isn't it in his best interests for this to be pointed out to him?

He may feel that revenge is sweet by trying to drag his ex through the financial mud - but, showing the ex that he can make it on his own is surely a better way to go!

MicheH

Tiddlywinks I agree, I really do but there's a way to do it, like I say a man hurting. Your above post said more to the OP I believe, than the one commenting on all his words you see. Give your opinion, and yes nm and yourself have made me see that he does have another way out but only because of the last couple of posts. They were written with feeling, not commenting on paraphrashing. It just reads back as being 'matter of fact' or passing judgement. Someone on the edge really doesn't need that. Thanks Tiddlywinks