Advice needed

ubamother

If you look at it from her point of view, is she the kind of person who would be humiliated if she received a gift but didn't have the wherewithal to respond in kind? It sounds from her text that she would. I know I would cringe if it was me. Perhaps one of you has to feel bad whichever decision you make - I suppose the secret Christmas gift could be you accepting feeling bad yourself rather than doing something that made her feel bad. One option would be to buy something that is specifically for her children and not for her - receiving for your kids rather than for yourself might be different.

miss_independent

We have discussed it (my side of the family) and decided we are still going to send the vouchers as with her struggling for money so much we don't feel it is fair on her to not do a little something to help out. We are going to write to her and say we understand that she can't send anything but we love her and wanted to treat her family as we always do. At the end of the day, she hasn't said "please don't send us anything this year", she has just said that she won't be sending gifts. Thank you so much for your advice everyone.