Why do you want to get married in the church (CoE)?

Astaroth

She said yes :j:T

Ok, so it was a few months ago now but still happy about it.

Due to family "issues" we are having a hard time deciding how we want to get married (and where) so currently exploring all bases. Have been through the pain of being interviewed by the vicar at our parish church (my fianc!e is a divorcee and non EU national) and he has said that he will apply to the bishop for permission as he is happy to recommend us. His one comment was that he didnt think the reason we wanted to get married in a church was clear enough on the forms so has asked us to rewrite that section.

The problem is that I dont "know" why I would like a church.... it just to me is where marriages are done.... anyone got any suggestions of what to put? Needs to be 4-5 lines by the size of the box

kettlefish

Many people choose to get married in a church because they believe there wedding vows should be made not only in law and in front of their friends and family, but in the presence of God (although I'm sure He'd have nothing against attending a registry office 'do ).

For the form, you could also think about whether that particular church has any importance to you (eg were your parents married there, or do you feel it's an important part of the community you grew up in)

Mme.Hibou

Well why do you want to get married in Church?

If you jot down some ideas here, we may be able to give you a hand looking at it from a different angle.

frannyann

Astaroth wrote: »

She said yes :j:T

Ok, so it was a few months ago now but still happy about it.

Due to family "issues" we are having a hard time deciding how we want to get married (and where) so currently exploring all bases. Have been through the pain of being interviewed by the vicar at our parish church (my fianc!e is a divorcee and non EU national) and he has said that he will apply to the bishop for permission as he is happy to recommend us. His one comment was that he didnt think the reason we wanted to get married in a church was clear enough on the forms so has asked us to rewrite that section.

The problem is that I dont "know" why I would like a church.... it just to me is where marriages are done.... anyone got any suggestions of what to put? Needs to be 4-5 lines by the size of the box

The bit I highlighted in bold, suggests to me that your reason would be something along the lines of:

Our reason for wishing to get married in the church is that to us a marriage needs to be witnessed within the eyes of God to be valid and we feel that the vows we make to each other are strengthened by being said within the Church of England service.

HTH

Astaroth

At present the form does have something along the lines of us believing that the church is the "right" place for a marriage to be formed and it is that which the vicar said needs expanding.

PolishBigSpender

Astaroth wrote: »

The problem is that I dont "know" why I would like a church.... it just to me is where marriages are done.... anyone got any suggestions of what to put? Needs to be 4-5 lines by the size of the box

Why are you getting married in a church if you don't even know why you want it, nor, seemingly, understand the significance of such marriage?

Astaroth

Because we know we want to, just cannot articulate the reasons well.... there is partly the fact it is a beautiful location etc but dont really want to put down on the form its because we want good pictures

Mme.Hibou

Is God part of your lives? Do you believe that your marriage wouldn't be real unless witnessed by God? If you ever start a family, will you bring them up in a Christian household?

Part of me would love to have my wedding in a Church, I've had a rocky relationship with religion since my early teens, but I don't go to church every week, I'm not sure what I believe and not having those would make me feel like I was being hypocritical towards religion.

Only you, really knows why you want to get married in church, I'd say be honest with the church and yourselves.

stumpjumper

My mum has recently taken over some of the church duties after the Verger retired - so she has started taking the role of form filling and bookings for weddings (the Vicar also retired a few months earlier)

In her first weekend taking on the duty, she had:
a couple, one of whom is in the process of getting divorced, but it isnt finalised just yet.
second was a couple, one of whom was a non EU citizen, and were wanting a quick wedding so they were married before the baby was born... so like you there was alot of additional form filling
and finally
one young lady gave as a reason for wanting to get married at that church was 'because the aisle is wider than the one in our church, and i don't think my dad and my dress would fit down the aisle together!'


so you get all sorts of reasons why.

Dinah93

I didn't realise you had to fill in any kind of form? My fiance and I are both Christian, although don't attend the church where were are marrying. Have you just stumbled upon a really strict parish?

HellsGranny

If you are not committed Christians, why not have a Registry Office wedding followed by a Church Blessing? (it also doesn't put the vicar and Bishopin an awkward situation re- divorce remarrying in Church).

Cheers, HG