Christmas Present Dilemma

Captain_Starlight

OK, guys ... you're all smarter than me, so please help!
Problem is ... we have a niece who has two children aged 8 and 17, and a live-in partner. Oldest child's working, youngest child has the manners and the behaviour of a black pig. 'Partner' appears to do nothing around the house (bathroom/stairs need paint on the walls and the fittings ... fitted ... but he hasn't lifted a finger since he moved in). The other problem I have is that neither niece nor her children seem capable of writing a Thank You note for presents received, or making a phone call - all we get is one text from niece, saying 'thanx 4 our przzies rlly lved them', when we've gone to enormous trouble to buy them stuff they wanted. Do I sound like an Old Grumpy? Possibly, but make no apology for it.

So .. this is where I need your help! Adore niece ... wouldn't think of not giving her a present she wants, but don't know what to do about unspeakably ignorant/ungrateful children and partner. The simple option is to throw money at the scabby kids, but I refuse to do that any more. We've been trying to think of something which could be labelled 'To All of You', but have scored zero on the inventiveness scale, particularly because we're looking at ages between 8 and 35.

Help! :grouphug:

McKneff

to be honest, i wouldnt even contemplate buying a present for people i think so little of and if i thought for one moment that someone thought of my children as scabby kids i would tell them to stick their present where the sun doestn shine.

hieveryone

What about a family board game or if they have a Wii/xbox etc, a game for that?

savingmummy

If you feel so strongly about their behaviours and the thanks you recieve then i wouldn`t buy for them.
Buy your niece something and just get some small stocking fillers for the kiddies x

Bogof_Babe

What about a pack of pre-printed Thank You cards and a book of stamps? :rotfl:

Sagz_2

Captain_Starlight wrote: »

'Partner' appears to do nothing around the house (bathroom/stairs need paint on the walls and the fittings ... fitted ... but he hasn't lifted a finger since he moved in).

How about a voucher from one of the DIY stores if some rooms need painting?

(on that subject my OH doesn't do DIY, and believe me I'm glad! He's so ham fisted that it would take me longer to put right anything he did attempt!)

Tigerlilley1980

How about a hamper with food and smellies etc in it. You could even get them all a pair of socks, scarfs, hats, gloves etc.. I'm doing hampers for my sister snd her partner and my Mum and Dad, it seems to have been easier than finding individual presents.

Captain_Starlight

McKneff wrote: »

to be honest, i wouldnt even contemplate buying a present for people i think so little of and if i thought for one moment that someone thought of my children as scabby kids i would tell them to stick their present where the sun doestn shine.

Cheers for that. You haven't read my post properly, have you, so why bother replying? And please don't reply to this; I'm not interested in your personal issues or the way in which you choose to deal with your family problems.

Captain_Starlight

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

What about a pack of pre-printed Thank You cards and a book of stamps? :rotfl:

That is so cool! Thank you!! I'm going to do that, definitely ... I can't thank you enough! I've been running through conversations in my head, along the lines of ' ... I would have bought something for x and Y, but because they never say Thank You', but that's just ... blearrgghh, isn't it? I'm so angry with myself for not having thought of it ... (how do you think it'll go down?!!)

Excellent!!!!

LegalBlonde

Are you serious or sarcastic??? If they are as lazy and ungrateful as you say and have the "manners of a black pig" don't you think this present is going to turn everything into a COMPLETE and utter row???

I am not trying to comment on your family and your relationship, I am just using the information you have provided and trying to help you. If you really feel that strongly about it can't you just tell their parents how you feel? They might react along the same ways as they would with the card, but then at least you have been an adult and spoke your mind. I have a feeling it would aggravate them more that you are doing it in an indirect way.

I would buy them a family cinema ticket or something but if you really can't stomach spending the money to give without receiving the thanks, I just wouldn't get them anything, or you could buy them a tin of sweets for the house for less than a fiver - ten years ago when they were expensive that was a good present for an entire household so they can't really argue with that, and you are just parting with a few quid.

But if you really feel that strongly I would just buy for your niece and get her something really nice as she deserves it!!! In my family alot of people are married and have children and it is perfectly acceptable to buy just for the person you are "related" to, or it gets silly otherwise! Especially with such uneven numbers of children, it just ends up unfair for some of us.

I hope this has helped.

victory

Uhm another thread full of animosity:rolleyes: