Just Found out OH has BIG debts

Prosaic

I've been following all the MSE tips for a few months now and as I pay all the bills at home was pleastantly surprised at home I was reducing our bills and managing to put some away now for the kids for the first time ever

The wife & I chatted the other night & I was telling her all about the MSE stuff and she started to tell me how she was finding it hard to cope with the bills she was getting. News to me, I didn't think she had any - she earns her own which mostly goes on the kids

Anyway, turns out over the past 3 years she's racked up store cards & CCs to the tune of £16000 :eek:

Anyway after a 'frank discussion' & a ceremonial cutting up of the cards we've been trying to reduce the interest as best we can. We've now BT'd her Next card ( 24.9% APR!!!) onto a CC which has maxed it out- still paying 14.9 but anythings an improvement

She's applied for a loan via moneysupermarket @ 5.9% but was refused due to one of her cards having late payments- the debt was only 70 quid too
( now paid off)

I've suggested we leave it 3 months for the store card & o/s 70 quid to be shown as cleared then try again. We've also worked out a budget and the money I've been saving using MSE is now going to have to be directed to clearing these debts

It's amazing how money can cause such problems. We have a strong relationship & I think she felt embarrassed at this debt and was trying to stick her head in the sand over it.We are working on our communication over money now

CosmoCat

they say that money is one of the top reasons why couples break up. well done for helping your OH face up to and do something about her debts. it is quite an embarassing thing (i'm sure you can remember when you first decided to face up to your financial situation), and some people think it is an indication of a failure on their part to manage their entire life.

it's a good thing you're doing, working on your financial communication. I hope that it continues to be open and frank, with an underlying tone of compassion and understanding.

well done and all the best to you both for your financial and personal futures.

gallygirl

Prosaic, what a lovely post. So often there are people on here who are terrified to tell their OH - the advice is always that it won't be as bad as you think, which is always the case, but how good to hear it from the horse's mouth. I hope it will inspire others to confide in their OH's asap.

You sound as if you've done all the right things, so no advice to add, but keep up the good work & good luck to both of you.
x

bargainbetty

Everyone has to have that lightbulb moment - at least she's had it now! You've got an advantage in that you have already taken steps to get yourself sorted, so you can really support each other now.

It scary when something big like this come out, but we're all in the same boat, so you know she'll be welcomed here. You could get her to have a read through some of the threads here, to see where she can make savings too (I know you can tell her, but it feels great discovering things for yourself).

Good luck, I hope you two work it all out together x

Prosaic

Thanks. You're right, I used to chuck money down the drain because no one ever explained otherwise to me

I'm annoyed at myself too as I should have seen the warning signs.. bills being left unopened for a couple of weeks etc. I think she was avoiding dealing with it

I've shown her lots of the articles on here and that BBC show 'streets of debt' rang a few bells too. She had no idea about APRs on store cards etc and of course the nice ladies in Next & the supermarkets glossed over it rather quickly when she applied.

My first reaction was to try and drive all the interest down, but her credit rating took a whack as she'd phoned one company in Jan and asked to reduce payments. They agreed and now I've received her experian report they've shown the reduced payments as late payments. her credit rating is now spoilt so we have to pay higher interest while it improves again

The only advice I would give anyone is to keep talking- I was angry at first and felt betrayed somehow as she'd kept this quiet while I'd been trying to save us money. After we chatted, I realised she wasn't a criminal, she'd made mistakes like we all do. And you're right- finding out you owe 16 grand is scary!

She's asked me to hold all her cards for her to take temptation away. Might sound a bit strong, but this will be her first month this year where she hasn't incurred OD charges so hopefully the only way is up!

quick question - she now has 3 searches shown this month where we tried to reduce the interest - would 3 months be a good time to leave it before trying again? The next card I've cancelled so she now has 3 grand less available debt

LJD1_2

It's so nice to hear of a couple working together and helping each other out. She's a lucky lady having someone so understanding. My best friend split up from her husband last week because he's found out about her debt. She's devastated. Good luck to you both!

Prudent

You have such a wonderfully supportive attitude - it must be such a relief for your wife that it is all out in the open. I was wondering if you could add the amount to your mortgage (if you have one) and then overpay until it is repaid. This would give a lower rate of interest much quicker.

Ali-OK

Prosaic wrote:

The next card I've cancelled so she now has 3 grand less available debt

It's good to read that your OH told you and that you're supporting her, well done to both of you.

With Next, please be very vigilant that they close your account - you will probably receive a letter saying "sorry you wish to close it" - but it won't be shut, they just leave it "in limbo" meaning you can't actually order anything/put anything on the bill, but can re-start it if you wish. The big downside is that they won't update your credit report with Settled, or fully close your account, unless you get on the phone to them and state you want your credit report updated with settled. (They claim no-one has ever asked for this before and if they fully close it I could never have an account with them again :rolleyes: ).

2 months and several phone calls later after I intially asked to close it, they finally updated my credit report with settled - only for me to check my report this month and hey presto, they've opened it again!

Very strong telephone conversation with a Manager last week and it's been closed again and credit report updated with settled again within 24 hours! I had a long chat with someone there about mis-leading customers on this and how it could create poor PR, etc - they tell me it's being discussed in a more senior management meeting. Here's hoping.

After rambling - my point is check your credit report for Settled with Next and get on the phone pronto if it's not. Having it settled should help your OH's credit rating improve too.

I'd say 3-4 months before applying for further credit to a 0% deal or low LOB card.

Prosaic

wow, I didn't know that about Next. I'll get her to phone them in the morning

Funnily enough the conversation when we cancelled went something like

My Wife ' I want to close the account'

Next ' We don't close them, we leave them dormant & if you don't order for 6 months we close it'

MW ' NO..I want to CLOSE it'

Next ' You can't do that now, you'll have to phone tomorrow'

MW ' I've paid off the balance, i don't want it anymore'

Next ' we can cancel the catalogues being sent if you wish'

MW ' No, Can you close the account'

Next ' ok then '

She asked for written confirmation to come out that it had closed - we've had nothing

southernscouser

Thats really weird coz I ordered a pair of trousers from Next, paid in full the next month then just left the account with £0 balance, or so I thought. Anyway when I next got my credit report it was marked as settled!

Ali-OK

I've been on Next's case since early March - I also told them they should come and read some threads on here about other people trying to close them down without success!

Maybe they are starting to take notice! Do not take No for an answer with Next - they are cagey b*****s. Of course, my Dad is most unhappy as he's got shares in them and I used to spend plenty in there, helping his dividends along no doubt! :rotfl:

Prosaic - ask your OH for confirmation in writing that they have updated her credit report with settled and be persistent! That should do the trick. If not, ask for Jan Smith in Customer Relations - she did exactly what she said she would and phoned me back same day. The call centre guys and gals can't do/don't know this stuff and the spiel your OH got sounds familiar.

SS - no idea what's going on with yours! But keep an eye on your credit report, as I say, mine went to settled then back to open and now to settled again!