I'm worried I'm starting to hate other halfs family!

ukjoel

I dont get on with my inlaws either.
Wouldnt worry about it - I see them once a year when we have to go at xmas.
Lifes too short - Dont let people make you miserable - Its just not worth it.

Mrs_P_Pincher

It’s other people’s families I’m afraid. My family is dysfunctional – I know that - but then again I don’t see any of them, so they don’t impact on our lives. However, Mr P’s family can be just unbelievable by my standards and there’s not a darn thing I can do about it. I know it’s not just me because my friend tried to heal a rift in her OH’s family some time ago only for it all to blow up in her face and the result to be worse than it was before.

Your OH’s family have their own reasons for acting in this way. You can’t change that – it’s what they do. End of.

Please don’t get bitter and twisted about it - accept the things you cannot change as the prayer says. You love him and your family love him and he may have to settle for that.

Hard but true I’m afraid.

Hope things look up for you

CAFCGirl

I just wanted to add that given recent health scares and the stresses you've both had, just work toward making this Christmas with your family a very cheerful and jolly one, be thankful to those you have around you who choose to give their love selflessly, and who love you not for what you can do for them, but simply for being put into their lives.

Wishing you and your family a very merry Christmas

Bananabelly

I think your two families have very different ideas about what being a family involves. Your family are there to support each other and offer help when necessary, and you would do the same for them if they had a problem. Your OH's family clearly don't have the same attitude, and there are probably years of people being in certain 'roles' that have reinforced that. It sounds like your OH is the nice one that everyone doesn't bother about, his brother probably creates more fuss or is the favourite in some way.

As you can see from the above (and I would reinforce the experience from my own family) a lot of people have these issues. Support your OH, tell him it is rubbish that they don't look out for him - at least he realises it. I broke up with my partner of 7 years partly because he couldn't deal with (or even acknowledge) the problems in his family, he was in the same position your OH is in. Don't hold his family to the same high standards that yours adhere to - they are clearly just not as nice to one another as your family is, and you wishing isn't going to make them nicer.

tandraig

OP - you arent the only one - my OHs oldest brother has alienated every brother he has! him and his wife are so selfish and moneygrabbing all the brothers lost patience and no longer bothered with him and her. I dont want to go into too much detail - but our lives are no poorer for not seeing them!
oh and I agree with other posters - start sympathising with OH about how crap his family is! he is well aware of it and must be wondering why the hell you are defending them? you wont help matters - and may even damage your own relationship - as I found out when my OH was defending my sis-in-law to the point of idiocy and i had enough and left him! he didnt half have to grovell to get me back!

ceebeeby

Neither DH or I have supportive families, but we muddle by. No one falls out with anyone about anything, and we all get on well enough, lifes too short to take it too much to heart.

If he's not wound up about it, then take your lead from him.