"Sealed Pot Challenge 3"

sparky0107

All too rarely, Australian airline attendants make an effort to make
the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit
more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard
or reported:

1) On an Air NZ Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,
the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising
altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your
comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


(2) On landing the hostess said, "Please be sure to take all your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."


(3) "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4
ways to leave the aircraft.

(4) As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Auckland, a lone
voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

(5) After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, "Please
take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a
landing like that, sure as f*** everything has shifted."

(6) From a Qantas employee: "Welcome aboard Qantas Flight X to Y. To
operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and
pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you
don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in
public unsupervised."

(7) "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it
over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure
your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than
one small child, pick your favorite.

(8) "Weather at our destination is 32 degrees with some broken
clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you,
and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Qantas Airlines."

(9) "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event
of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them
with our compliments."

(10) Heard on Qantas Airlines just after a very hard landing in
Hobart: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite bumpy and I know what you are all thinking. I'm here to tell
you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't
the flight attendant's fault... it was the asphalt!"

(11) Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect
landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to
the terminal."


(12) An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had
hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a
policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while
the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying
United. "He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard
time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would
have a smart comment. Finally everyone had got off except for an old
lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a
question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

(13) After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the Flight
Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your
seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a
screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tyre smoke has
cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and
you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."


(14) Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to
thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get
the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized
metal tube, we hope you'll think of Qantas."


(15) A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over
the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather
ahead is good and, therefore, we should have smooth and uneventful
flight. Now sit back and relax - SH*T! ARGHHH! OH, MY GOD!"


Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on
the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I
scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight attendant
brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see
the front of my pants!" A passenger in Economy said, "That's nothing.
He should see the back of mine!"

sparky0107

Good Luck today LC x

elizabunny

Good Luck LC!!! Hope all goes well.

4p in the pot, not much, but hopefully DH will supply a bit more later.

Thanks for the humour sparky, it made me giggle.

Well it's good old Glastonbury again, never been, although both my lads have. Always felt like I'd missed out in my 'hippy' days and still quite fancied going a few years ago when the lads were there, but now............I'd rather sit in the garden in the cool of the shade, nice long drink at hand and get a proper shower before I go to bed. I hope everybody that's there has a great time, but I've finally decided (I think?) I'm just too old for hassle.

Sue-UU

Hi and welcome to the thread davilown, LABMUM and girlracer. It's never too late to join in and is good to have you here with us. Have fun saving. You'll find your numbers at the bottom of the list on post 2 of page 1. Please read through posts 1 & 2 as it'll let you know exactly what to do with the challenge. Please pop your number on your sig, it helps so very much


Sorry folks, too much time in between coming on again, still I'm progressing well though and many thanks to you all for the lovely wishes, you're such a lovely bunch.

Hiya Sparky, yes, I'm still giving the old ninja pocket pinching lessons where necessary, though I think most of the shrewd ones have the idea...doing good too! A good few jokes there sparky, thanks for the giggle.

Hi fishcakes, you're most welcome to include both pots, it makes no difference to us here and IMO can only be good to entice people to save..save..save!

Good to see you dropping in Pammy! Don't leave it so long between visits!

Congratulations newgirly, you're doing sooo well! Keep it up throughout and you'll be a really big winner!;)

Good to see you Winchelsea, though I hope your DH doesn't need to stay in hospital for too much longer. You sound as though you could use a 'proper' break, I hope it's possible. Take care!:)

Oh, I do hope you were successful at the interview LC, here's keeping em crossed for good news come the morning.

Have a lovely day tomorrow whatever you're doing folks, and keep safe...while you're saving!

Sue New friends wishing to join us, please just ask below and I'll be with you ASAP.

jakes-mum

I've just stumbled across this thread today and have decided to give it a go, with 2 young kids and corrently on the dreaded ESA money is a tad tight so saving my spare coppers toward their christmas lists (which I have already been warned will include a BMX for my 9 yr old ds and a 'big girls bike' for my 2 yr dd!

So my target will be £150 to go toward 2 shiny new bikes for my children

Sue-UU

Hello jakes-mum and a warm welcome to the thread, it's good to have you with us. Have fun saving for those bikes! You'll find your number at the bottom of the list on post 2 of page 1. Please read through posts 1 & 2 as it'll let you know exactly what to do with the challenge. Please pop your number on your sig, it helps so very much


Just you and I today so far then jakes-mum...good job you came or I'd be talking to meself!

Today saw the first cash in the pot for me for the last couple of weeks, but at least it's a healthy £7.63.

Another beautiful day for us all tomorrow...except for all of you in dear ol Scotland...but then you're more used to it I guess. Anyway, enjoy the day everyone, whateverit's like.

Sue New friends wishing to join us, please just ask below and I'll be with you ASAP.

LuckyBiscuit

Had a fab sunny day today, but no coins as had a NDS!!!!

sparky0107

Scooter run to Wigan today, to raise money for Help the Heroes charity, should be a brilliant day, I'll make sure to put on plenty of sun block, if anyone's in the area we'll be at the crispin arms, Scholes, in Wigan.

Winchelsea

Thanks for your lovely messages sparky0107, fishcakes, and Sue-UU.
And sparky, I loved the funnies!

Just checked in to say I've dropped another £4.40 in the (very heavy) pot today. Have been adding various sums over the past few days, but apart from updating sig, have not checked in.

Just to say all is well really - DH looking good despite DVT in his leg (or DVD as my friend mis-heard! - one of those stuck in yr leg would sure hurt!)

Anyway - kick-off - ttfn!

sparky0107

Just got back from a brilliant scooter run, great day for just getting out and riding, the weather was fantastic only 5 days now to the Isle of Man, really looking forward to that. Just waiting for Dw to come home from work and then sitting out in te garden, enjoy the rest of Sunday everyone.

Sue hope you're feeling better now hun x