14 yr old wanting to attend court/instruct solicitor

daska

DSDs mum is taking us back to court over contact but DSD (14) is adamant that she does not want to have to visit every holiday and wants to go to court and tell the judge in person that s/he has to tell her mother to leave her dad alone. She wrote via the solicitors to tell her mother that she didn't want this several months ago but her mother is of the opinion that we must have forced DSD to write this because she 'knows' that DSD wants to move back to live with her?!

The current contact order allows for DSD to visit whenever she wants and we pro-actively arrange contact and often pay for the travel (DSD's mother lives 250 miles away and the contact order specifies where DSD is allowed to stay, so it's not something that can be left to the last minute). This is the second Xmas that we have had to arrange for DSD to visit her mother and maternal family because her mum hasn't bothered.

Is it just me that thinks DSD going to the court is a bad idea? I'm pretty certain CAFCASS would get involved again so I hope her views would be represented adequately but I also know that DSD could instruct a solicitor to represent her but is this a good idea and could she get legal aid in her own right?

Anyone got any experience around this area or a recommendation for where to start?

Susan_Frost

I should think at 14 she would be quite capable of saying what her wishes are. And she should be allowed to do what she wants.

skintscotslass

I think she'll qualify for legal aid. DD did when she sued for compensation, but we're in Scotland so it might be different. Maybe contact the CAB for advice?

McKneff

I agree that at 14 she is old enough to express her wishes in person and you should be proud of her for that.

daska

I have no doubt about her being able to express her own wishes but I am concerned on 2 counts. First that it might look as if her dad has put her up to it - CAFCASS usually recommend that children don't attend in person for this reason. Second that if DSD comes to the court in person her mum might try to pressure her into agreeing to something she doesn't want - grandad is on his last legs etc, "you do want to see as much of him as possible, don't you"...?

McKneff

Just stay with her. Dont let her be intimidated or co=erced.
If she doesnt want to see her mum as often as mum might like, then mum has to accept it.

She seems like a sensible girl and she may think differently in a few years time.

Looking at it from Mums point of view she must be very hurt inside knowing her daughter doesnt want to see her much .

Good luck

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Which is where her own solicitor, who is there purely to represent her interests, will be most valuable, as they will be able to stop that kind of thing going on.

daska

McKneff wrote: »

Looking at it from Mums point of view she must be very hurt inside knowing her daughter doesnt want to see her much.

You'd think so wouldn't you, but her mother's behaviour doesn't bear that out. Even when the distance wasn't nearly as great and we've paid her travel she couldn't even "be @rsed" (her words not mine) to get on the train to see her daughter. Last time the residency/contact issue blew up it transpired that she was about to lose her HA flat - DSD decided very quickly that her mum started making an effort to see her because she was an easy ticket to new accommodation. DSD still sees her 3 or 4 times a year but if mum comes here for 3 days, DSD might see her for as little as 6 hours in total. I just find myself wondering: if DSD was made to visit for 7 weeks a year or more what might mum get out of it?

daska

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Which is where her own solicitor, who is there purely to represent her interests, will be most valuable, as they will be able to stop that kind of thing going on.

I'd be a lot happier with her being represented by her own solicitor. It would mean that it would be exactly her view being put across, not just the CAFCASS recommendation (assuming the court orders a report) and her dad couldn't be accused of misrepresenting her. It's also possible that DSD instructing her own solicitor might result in her mum withdrawing this demand.

Unfortunately it will have to go to court because her mum is also demanding overnight contact which the current Order specifically does not allow. But that issue can be dealt with by requesting a new hair strand test - if it's clean the answer's yes, if not then the court won't consider her request anyway.

tandraig

yes of course she should instruct her own solicitor if that is what she wants! that way it will be her views represented and no-one can say she was co-erced.

at fourteen her views should be given greater weight by the court anyway. and what is this that kids shouldnt appear in court - the case is about them and surely they have the right to be there! once they are of an age to understand!

from your mention of the hair strand test daska i think i understand why mum doesnt have custody. and it is a bit sus isnt it why mum now wants overnighters? I would be worried too. but she is fourteen and i think you will find you cant force her to do anything she doesnt want to - even if its against court ruling.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I think you need to make her an appointment with a family law specialist who is completely unconnected to your OH. Just the same way anyone over 18 can see a solicitor for an advice appointment, I am sure she can do the same.

I hope she gets the result that is best for her in what sounds like a sad, unpleasant situation.