Don't get to see each other much, how to keep things lively?

andymc29

Hi,
I met my GF 7 months ago, she lives 20 miles from me and works long hours as a nurse. I work normal office hours meaning that our work patterns conflict a lot, so we don't see each other more than maybe once a week.

When we do see each other, it's great, and recently we spent the weekend together and it was brilliant, we both finished the weekend feeling all loved up and wishing we could see each other more.

My only thing now though, is how do I move things forward??? Do we carry on with seeing each other once a week (we text every day and I ring her on evenings I know she's home), but I've got this gut feeling that I need to see more of her than I do. I can't mention this to her because she's already shown concern that I'll get frustrated with her working awkward hours.

Do I wait another 6 months then suggest moving in together? This could be tricky though as she owns her own house and I rent a one bedroom flat, so th logical answer would be for me to move in to her house, so that's for her to suggest not me.

I should be seeing her tomorrow and want to plan something a bit different (but not too expensive ) to show that I do really care and just as something to remind her how I feel. Any ideas?

Kaz2904

I'm a nurse.. tell her how you feel. Don't ever complain about her shifts though because she can't do anything about them whatever she is promised.

You will have to get used to Chrismas, New year and all other bank holidays being interfered with.

squirrelchops

As she is a nurse and on her feet all day and having to deal with other people's pain/emotions etc etc how aobut giving her a total pamper. Buy some nice bubble bath.....run her a bath, cook a meal etc.

I used to work in a very challenging care home and when OH and I first met we had similar difficulties due to my working hours plus he lived 70 miles away!!!

I think just keep seeing each other as you are for now and enjoy each other then see where it takes you.

Greener_Grass

When I met my OH we lived 350 miles away but we still seen each other every weekend it was a very expensive time of my life How about suggesting you stay over at hers one night during the week? I would think your girlfriend will probably suggest moving in together in not too long if she is wanting to see you more too.

I second the hot bath and nice meal etc idea. Sounds lovely

Karen_30

Agree with the others, shift work is a nightmare to get used to if you've never gone out with anyone who works it. You must never moan about her shifts, its her job and you knew that when you met up. Just make the most of the time you do get to spend with her and don't push anything - it'll naturally progress in the right direction, i'm sure.

She is likely to be very tired after shifts etc, I'd agree with running her a nice bath, candles etc - just for her to relax and show that you do appreciate her.

mountainofdebt

I know this os going to sound very old fashioned, especially in these days of texts and emails but what about writing her letters ?

springclean

hi, my partner and I have done the long-distance relationship for just over a year (120 miles), so i know how you feel about having that weekend.

re moving in together, while it seems a way to get closer, chances are it won't make a jot of difference, as with only 20 miles apart, you could get to each other if you were both free anyway. and forgive me for saying this, but as a woman with my own home, i wouldn't commit to living with someone and sharing bills etc who has so much debt.

my partner and i have committed to be together, and i will relocate, but it won't be for 18mth/2 years, due to family commitments. that said, it's nice to know there is something there that we are working towards, and that makes the distance easier to deal with.

don't question her work hours, as she was pobably in that job when you met, so you can't change things now. accept it and work around it. being creative with time, and putting in the effort gives lots of browny point!

i would let her know that you want to spend more time with her, and see the relationship moving forward, and perhaps you can set a target for your debt to be cleared, or most of it at least, so you can move on together more on a more equal footing.

in the meantime, when you have time together, don't waste it. and do use the postal service and other waysof communicating. i love getting to work and finding en envelope for me in the mail from my fella, sending me a card.

LisaLou1982

Hi

My boyfriend lives 35miles from me and we see each other every weekend - weve been together for 3 1/2 yrs now!!

Looking to move in together next year. Long distance relationships can work if you make them x x

westcountrymaid_2

My son's partner who has been a bit stressed out doing her degree, told me she loved it when he bought her a lovely fluffy dressing gown, ran her a bath and lit the room with candles, nice to see romance is still alive.....

My DH lived in London and I lived in Devon when we first met over 30 years ago, we could only get together every few weeks, neither of us could drive and had very little money, I lived for the phone calls. Eventually neither of us could stand the separation and he moved to Devon.