Extremely threatening letter please help!

angelfire

lynzpower wrote:

Hi there

You have gopt yourself into a bit of a state I can see, so lets try and sort this out.

1. You do not have enough income.
does your daughters father not contribute to her upkeep, if not why not? Www.entitledto.co.uk Check this check you are recieving enough tax credits doesnt look as if you are.

2. Nursery fees are well over half your income and this is unsustainable. Look into any childcare credits yourf employer might give you? Or look at organising child minder, not nursery, can be quite a bit cheaper.

3. Drama. cheerleading, Im sorry, but this HAS to go, you simply cant afford it

You can easily save 100 off your shopping, I reckon you could save 180 off your shopping with some effort. Not impossible at all

You just need to be completely critical and say DO I NEED THAT and if the answer is yes
how can you get this cheaper?

my ex partner doesn't contribute at all, he never has. He purposely doesn't work to avoid having to pay maintenance. he simply claims IS and works illegaly.

My childcare fees are actually quite low for our area - the childminders around us are roughly the same anyway and to be honest its so hard to find decent childcare I wouldn't move my baby anyway at this point as she is happy where she is...

My job is in education and the reason I've come back to work is so that i still have this job when our baby starts school (we have 2 children). I'll be able to do the school run each day and have holidays with them so no need for childminders etc then..so is a means to an end!

tax credits - they take my partner's income into consideration when they calculate this and it takes us over the threshold so we just get the basic..

gymnastics/cheerleading - they 'could' go and aren't necessarily needed but my daughter has done these sports since she was little - throughout the time I was on my own with her I went without so i could send her and I know I sound ungrateful for your help, I'm not, I just don't feel she should suffer..

Housekeeping - agreed, I should, could and WILL reduce this!

To be fair, my partner at the moment will always help out but I don't feel he should have to pay off debts that were run up before i even met him.

angelfire

tine wrote:

Contact CAB, CCCS or one of the other free services that can help you.
By running from the problem it's all become even worse than it was initially, but ultimately they can't have what you don't have so you will need to decide if bankrupcy is a possibility for you. Can this be done without dragging your partner into it? Others might be able to advise you about this. Usually I am of the "you owe it, you pay it" school too, but I don't think looking at your income and debts that this is going to be a realistic possibility at present and I am also very aware that you must have at least one young child which is swaying me a little in this case.

Stop running, start sorting yourself out and get these debts dealt with one way or another...

Good luck

Bankruptcy might have been an option six years ago as by now my credit score would have started to improve, but to do it six years on, when my file will actually be clean in two years would seem the wrong thing to do. I'm not sure how this all works really...

domesticgoddess

Do you have any relatives ie grandparents that could help out with the costs of your daughters activities? Also does she really enjoy them or do you have problems getting her to go? If so then don't feel bad about her not going , i would only e temporary. Alternatively you could ask if you could pay a reduced rate and then increase when things get better for you. I had a friend who ran a drama dance class and took a reduced rate form someone who was having problems, you never know it might be worth asking.

Can't think of anything else really other than what has already been said, it sounds like you are having a tough time.


You will get reduced or no fees when your daughter is 3 (well the term after) you should start looking at this now so you can factor this in

HTH

Take Care
DG

hobo28

Do you NEED contacts? You're spending £144 a year on contacts. Consider getting a pair of glasses instead. You can get them for £15 now from online websites. What I do is I get a pack of soft contacts online and use them only when I'm on a night out. The rest of the time, I use my glasses.

Although its tempting to stick your head in the sand and wait, it only delays the inevitable and its better to get things sorted now rather than later when all the goodwill has gone and been replaced by extra charges.

angelfire

domesticgoddess wrote:

Do you have any relatives ie grandparents that could help out with the costs of your daughters activities? Also does she really enjoy them or do you have problems getting her to go? If so then don't feel bad about her not going , i would only e temporary. Alternatively you could ask if you could pay a reduced rate and then increase when things get better for you. I had a friend who ran a drama dance class and took a reduced rate form someone who was having problems, you never know it might be worth asking.

Can't think of anything else really other than what has already been said, it sounds like you are having a tough time.


You will get reduced or no fees when your daughter is 3 (well the term after) you should start looking at this now so you can factor this in

HTH

Take Care
DG

Hi, I'll certainly look into my daughter's grandparents contributing to her gym and cheer fees, she helps with my avon and helps an awful lot with the baby and around the house so this for her is a reward - she loves doing both and i've never had to coax her to go - on the contrary, she's begging me at the moment for a beam at home!

Baby is only 15months but I had forgotten about that so thanks for the reminder!

domestic_goddess

First of all find out how much you owe and to who.... Then you can start to sort that out.

In the mean time:

You should get way more in tax credits..... i earn more than you and pay less childcare but still get more than the £40 that you are getting. I would def double check this.

Also if you dont want to stop the cheerleading and the gymnastics why not just stop one....... ask your daughter to choose one. In an ideal world our kids would get everything but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way and you money would be better paid off debts at the mo. You obviously love her very much and this is the most important thing. If she is old enough you could explain why she can only go to one. You will be surprised how much kids understand. You could spend the time she would normally be at class together just you and her.

What about ebay to get rid of some old unwanted stuff, with two kids you prob have loads. Baby stuff goes really well. You could focus on one debt at a time (while still making the minimum payments on others) and pay as much off as possible by making a bit extra.

Have you tried quidco for bit extra to throw at your debts.

Once you face your debts you will feel much better. I know it sounds daft but from experience on here just taking control makes all the difference.

domesticgoddess

If your baby is 15 months and still in nappies, re-usable nappies could save you som money, plus Lancashire CC do a scheme whereby they give you some nappies or pay for a laundry service for 6/8 weeks if you switch. If you look o their website you should find the details, even if you didn't use the nappies you could always sell them on ebay, but they are worth giving them a go. (I think you were in lancashire.)

Take Care
DG

angelfire

To be fair I don't think my expenditure isn't unreasonable, i'm sure there are plenty of people with budgets for clothes/sky tv/higher phone bills etc - I can free up SOME money by cutting back on our grocery shopping and ask for contributions from family towards my daughter's sports fees, but other than that thats that.

what happens in cases like mine where there is little to spare? I read all the time people saying 'they can't have what you haven't got', but these companies just carry on with their demands as far as I can see - this is why I keep sticking my head i the sand - because when I have tried to sort things out i've sent them an honest I & E and they've ignored it and continued with their threats!

I appreciate the help from people who have suggested ways of cutting back but once all the cutbacks have been made, then what?

The other thing is, I don't want to deal with these nasty companies - I want to repay the companies that lent the money in the first place!

domesticgoddess

Found the nappy link for you


http://www.lancashire.gov.uk/environment/waste/news/nappyincentive.asp

angelfire

thanks for that. I'd still have to buy disposables for nursery mind but it may help a little...