how can do this on my own

countthecost

Hi,
I'm new to the board and am in desperate need of advise.
I have hidden credit card debt from OH for 3 years (£10,000).Last week it all came out. Money was not spent on myself, just day to day living. I feel so ashamed that I have hurt and deceived him so much. I have had to leave and staying with daughter. I was making minimum payments from our joint account without his knowledge. He has refused me access to any money now so I have no way of making any future payments. Payments have been on time to date and I contacted both card companies this week to ask if they could offer a better interest rate- answer NO. I have not discussed problem with them yet as don't know best way to proceed as I was hoping I could balance transfer to 0% (but I think that unlikely). Then I'll get some work and sell some things on ebay to make the repayments. Will credit card companies be willing to accept reduced payments on a temporary basis. Right now its looking unlikely that OH will let me return so I just can't think of which way to turn.

justjohn

Talk too you OH. much easier to do things together.

Contact credit card companies again lay it on thick real thick. Tell them you are going too look at BR if they can't help you out.

Try to get credit cards at 0% and transfer. If bank accounts are good and clean , see if bank will give you a 0% visa card.

Tixy

Hi and welcome

Sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Hopefully OH just needs some time to take things in and will be okay about it eventually.

Do you work at the moment? Or have any income? If you stop paying the minimums you are likely to get defaults (which makes the chance of 0% cards very unlikely) however if your circumstances don't allow you to keep them up - this letter will hold them off for a month or 2 whilst you sort things out a little - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=21937969&postcount=52

In the circumstances bit put something vague down (like break down of a relationship) and this post http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2077631 will give you a list of people to speak to. The CAB might be a good one for you as they'll also go through what benefits you are entitled to and if things don't improve with OH they'll advise on your rights to any joint account money/savings etc.

MrsTinks

You say day to day living? What you need to work out is why and how you went over budget to the tune of £10k... if it was just food and such then surely he didn't starve during this time? Did he never think to question the cost of living or did he decide that he couldn't be bothered to deal with it so handed it over?

RAS

If this is a joint account, he cannot refuse you access to the money. In fact, you need to open your own account and to advise the bank that any further withdrawals for the joint account have to be signed in both names.

If you are not working and separated, you need to sign on for income based JSA, urgently.