Anything i can do ? ....

piratess

Wasnt sure to add as a title ...

My DD is 16 .. and has recently split up with a boy she went out with for 5 months He was 17 when they started going out, Anyway this lad is a completly different charactor to her he was always happy to sit 24-7 on the xbox or just sit and watch films, didnt go to college didnt have a job etc ...
Anyway My DD decided that this wasnt how she wanted to spend her time shes into her horses and has plans to go into the kings troop or MP
She told her Bf that it wasnt working, that she felt her grades were dropping at school and that their relationship had become "routine" so she ended it ..... That was that (or so we thought)

2 months have passed and she has just started dating a lad at the stables where she rides, His family own the stables so they had already been friends for a while. This is where the trouble starts, Her ex has now started hounding her, this has been going on for a few weeks now, calling her horrible names, saying shes lying, and now has started making threats towards her bf saying he is going to kick his little head in etc ... and has also pulled a mate into it to. The thing is my DDs boyfriend is 14 ... her ex is 18 and of course the bf is feeling scared etc

Is there anything i can do ? I have spoken to the ex on msn as has my OH and explained that enoughs enough and that if we find out hes carrying on with this behaviour it will get taken further.

Im not really sure what else to do! ... (i cant really go to his house to talk as his family are a little unsavioury) .. i did actually thing this boy was the nice one of the bunch but he is now showing his true colours! ..


thanks for any advice

myothercarisaferrari

threaten him with the police if he is making threats x

kindofagilr

The police would be the way I would go as well

missindecisive

definately threaten him with the police, afterall, he is an 18 yr old man threatening a 14 yr old boy...it won't look good on him will it?

hatewashingmachines

I would actually make a formal complaint about him to the police. There have been many occasions in the press and on the news where this sort of behavoir turned nasty. Inform the police so that if it gets worse they already have a note of it and can do something quicker.

jenhug

yes, police, show him you mean business.

bills_2

I am also going for the threat of going to the police if his threatening behaviour persists.

I had an idiot ex bf who felt the need to do the threatening thing and as soon as I mentioned the police the annoying mouth disappeared.

If you do threaten the police action be sure that you do carry out the threat an go the police if his behaviour persists.

piratess

Thanks for the replies, I have rung the police this afternoon, But they have told me they cannot act on it unless my daughters bf wants to take further action ..
But they did say to save any conversations and txts to back things up if thats what he does want ...

Does anyone know if there is anyway to block an email ? .. my eldest had another maily from the ex this afternoon with just abuse and nasty comments and id like to put a stop to these!! .. also mobile phone numbers not sure how to do it though.

minerva_windsong

Ring up your Internet service provider and ask them about blocking email addresses.

I'm not sure if you can block mobile phone numbers, but if your daughter could change her phone number somehow then that could help - either get one of those cheap SIM cards or see if her number can be changed if she's on a contract.

Also, you can block his email address on MSN so he can't send her any messages, and block him on Facebook as well.

maggied_2

Depending on which email you're using you can add the person to a 'blocked' list, or mark any future emails as 'junk' so they go into a junk folder which is usually emptied every few days.

Mobiles are more tricky - I don't believe there is a way of blocking text messages - I think a couple of providers can block numbers. It would be easier to change numbers though. Most providers will do it for free the first time and (from what I've heard) charge between £10 and £40 for subsequent occasions.

Re the police - I also had this problem recently. You can't report something without the police then not taking some sort of action. Apparently it's to do with them having to be seen to do something when they receive a report so you can't just log things with them.

Alikay

DD was in a similar situation a few years ago when she dumped the sullen lump she'd been going out with for 2 years who then turned nasty. He didn't do anything illegal, just spiteful but he indulged in a LOT of emotional blackmail and behaviour that made her feel intimidated (though wouldn't have been of interest to the police). Menacing looks, nasty texts and calls, loitering outside her classes, shoves, "accidental" spilling of drinks, all directed at her and any male she spoke to.

Anyway, we coped by supporting her and reinforcing that she'd done nothing wrong and was not responsible for his happiness/health/exam failure (all things he and his parents alleged!). We changed her phone number and arranged lifts when we thought she'd be vulnerable and informed her tutor at the college they both attended. Eventually it all stopped...it took a loooong time and even over a year later he hacked into her MySpace, emailed nasty stuff to her friends (as if from her) and posted porno pics etc.

He finally left her alone when he fell in love with someone else.