The other side of the story

Pobby

I run a very small business. Please don`t take this the wrong way but I do feel that a little balance is needed.

I read on here a fair bit and my heart goes out to so many where life has thrown up so many difficulties. I so do hate the way that the big institutions bully, apply huge penalties and interest to loans, often taken out with the best intentions, but life changes and every thing goes horribly wrong. However I do strongly wish to point out that a Joe Soap, a little business can lose a lot of money due to the way that things stand now.

Frankly I couldn`t care less about the big guys losing out but a very small businessman like me can really feel the pain and I have.

So please think when congratulating folk on their BRs that they have not taken from from the small guy.

Trust there is no offence taken.

debtinfo

Hi Pobby, i used to be an insolvency examiner and so have seen all sides, You are quite right in that it is the small businessess that lose out most in bankruptcy. In Fact there are a number of bankrupts on this site that are in that possition because other people have in turn gone bankrupt on them.

There is a close sense of community on this part of the site because of the shared experiences of what is a trumatic time for the people involved. The reason that people congratulate each other is not because of people wantin g to get one over on their creditors. It is because of the relief at getting through the process. Many of the people who end up bankrupt have been harrassed for years by the big creditors, many have suffered from depression and other mental illnesses. A few have (and this is from personal experiences) taken their own lives. So please do not see it as people getting one over on business people like yourself just the relief of getting their life a liitle bit more back on track.

Debtinfo

confused76

hi
i can really only reiterate what debtinfo has said. if you see people 'congratulating' it is merely that they are over an extremely difficult hurdle. noone is 'congratulating' people for getting one over the little guy.
in fact there are a few people who have lost their businesses due to a bad creditor. noone wants to see someone lose their livelihood i can promise you that.

blind-as-a-bat_2

There are many other sides to the story, like the small business man struggling to stay afloat, knowing if he goes under it may take other small businesses with him/her, but is at his wits end because one small creditor from a small business is ignoring his plight, and has petition for his BR, even though he is owed the least of all the other creditors.

Or worse they send the boys round to threaten him/her and his/her family

It has happened.

It’s not always the big guys that cause the biggest problem, sometimes it just take one, small, blinkered nasty one to bring the whole pack of cards down.

I echo what DEBT and confused has said, but also agree with you, which is why I rarely post in those threads.

But we have also had a few congratulations threads where a small business person came on here facings BR, but managed to avoid it, I don’t know if that was in anyway due to advice given hear, or just the support given spurred them not to give up yet, who knows.

Yep there are many, many, many sides to the stories behind BR, and many, many reasons we congratulate posters, sometimes for reasons you will never know, as a lot goes on behind the scenes on this board, via pm etc

dojoman

None of my debts are to the "small guy" and believe me I do not feel good in anyway about going BR, so please do not think it is something that is done lightly because it is not. I never envisaged going down this route and feel absolutely gutted about it, but when I congratulate someone on here, and I will continue to do so, it is because I know what most people are going through. If I had not gone down this route you could very possibly have found me hanging somewhere, it is only because I realised that there is a way out from the mess I am in that I have kept going. Also the support from the posters on here is absolutely amazing, so to be honest I do not think we need a post telling us what to do and what not to do, as the emotional rollercoaster that is BR is quite enough, well it is for me anyway.

Pobby

Hey . I hope I wasn`t out of order in posting this. I thought that I might have to go BR about 10 years ago. I suppose that I have had heard something from a bankrupt guy, now discharged, who owed me a 5 figure sum that has made me very cross.

Cash_Waster

Pobby wrote: »

Hey . I hope I wasn`t out of order in posting this. I thought that I might have to go BR about 10 years ago. I suppose that I have had heard something from a bankrupt guy, now discharged, who owed me a 5 figure sum that has made me very cross.

Its a nightmare for all at present. The small business is always the 1st loser it seems, as that's how big cooperation's work. Just because he is an EX BR doesn't mean he isn't allowed to rebuild his life and have it leveled at him at all times. Fingers crossed you get your money. By the looks of things, you enjoy the site so probably best to keep frustrations off the BR part of the site.

As has been said by many, this is probably THE best site on the web for help and support at a time when people have nowhere else to turn in life. Lets not forget BR is usually faced up to after many years of fighting off the inevitable, its not an easy option.

Tinytim

Hi Pobby,

As other have said, many of us who have declared BR were ourselves running successfull businesses until something happened which was out of our control. Like many, we struggled on as long as possible, putting the welfare of our staff above our own, and trying wherever possible to pay our creditors, especially the small ones.

Congratulations are not just limited to nice things in life, but are often used on this forum to congratulate people on taking control of their situation, and starting on a course of positive action. In the same way as I might congratulate someone on surviving a serious illness, or congratulate someone on having the strength to leave an abusive relationship, I will continue to congratulate those on here who find the strength to take control

JoeAlonso

To be honest I'm approaching automatic discharge next week but echo what Pobby has said. Going bankrupt for me was a harsh lesson in life due to being a self-obsessed, deluded and mainly selfish person when it came to money.

I know there are people who genuinely had bad luck and I feel even guiltier (if that's a word!) for them. But all the congratulations grates on me.

The best advice I had was to pick yourself up, it's not something you should be congratulated about and get on with your life, you have learned your lesson the hard way. I think I might post something similar on the Diary of a Broken Gambler thread because that fella does not need mothering he needs a boot up the backside like all ex-gamblers do.

In saying that, some people do need that 'congratulations' but for me it's not a celebration. This forum should be for advice on genuine issues and worries, not an appreciation society.

korben556

Although new to the forum, I have found the support provided fantastic and the knowledge of others who have been through the same thing helpful.

I have never seen the warm support as congratulatory, it's support pure and simple.

BR after the death of a loved one, has to be one of the most devatating experiences you can go through. Speaking for myself I have had the most horrible 3-4 years of my life and plan to start afresh when I go BR.
However an easy option it is not and certainly I derive no pleasure from the situation.

I appreciate very much the plight of the small business owner (mine went under last year) and the distress caused by a debtor going bankrupt with little or no hope of seeing any money.

If it were not for this site however I do not know what I would do and the warmth and understanding given is little short of lifesaving - however it must not be mistaken for any form of denial of what has occured and the repercussions for others.

But I have beaten myself up for long enough over this and in the final analysis I have not killed anyone or started a war!

Long may all the members of this community continue to support lost souls like me.

fatou256

hi pobby i do understand your feelings but i have to say when i first join this board I was lost adn all over the place . this boad has been a life saver for me .

I understand that some people my loose things but the debtor has already lost a lot and a lot more than a creditor before declaring themselves BR . like i said before there is no winner in BR both the creditor and debtor will loose something.

before my BR , my creditor made our life a livign hell we were chase right , left and centre by every creditor we had. we were constantly harrassed before and durign our BR ( even one court action finished 4 month after our BR order) , we had been evicted form our home, the contant threat of bailiff form the council tax people, and so forth... this is not a good way to live because creditor too often assume because we owe money they have righ tto harass us at every opportunity.

Br is a hard thing to take on and a rather steep learning curve ... the help and congratulation were veryhelpful and if you look around this board you will see alot of very constructive and helpful advise given to past, present and future BR.

Congratulation here mean a sense of closure for the debtor . You have to realise that on declaring BR, the debtor loose all his possesion ( including Bank account, and debit card etc ,,) in order to rebuild his/her life from scratch !