Hen Weekend...nitemare friends :(

superfran_uk

Kay_Peel wrote: »

I'm saddened to hear about friends lack of interest, but I can understand their point of view. I think you'll find that nearer the time they will have excuses for not going at all - for whatever reason. Maybe it's too expensive or they don't like Butlins or they are not close enough to you to spend the whole weekend away from their own families.

Take the hint, cancel Butlins and return any money that people have given you - because it's time for a re-think.

Personally, I wouldn't organise ANYTHING. When people ask what you're doing say: 'There's nothing planned.'

As you say, you've got enough on your plate just organising the wedding and looking after a new baby.

True friends will get together and make a Hen Night for you. It doesn't have to be big and it doesn't have to involve huge expense to be an unforgettable night with the girls who mean the most to you. So, relax and just let it happen.

Best of luck with your preparations. :beer:

This hits the nail on the head

debtdesperado

So true Kay Peel!

I think brides tend to forget that the world doesn't revolve around them (sorry!)and that maybe their friends don't want/can't afford either the time or the money to devote a whole weekend to be with a group they don't know.

Think about your friends - that means, your real friends. Not your work colleagues (who won't come), not your vague acquaintances (who won't come), not the people you want to invite to make it look like you have loads of friends (because they will drop out as well), but your real friends. Then think about how well they all know each other. If it's not a close knit group who have all known each other from school, keep your hen night one night only. Ditto for your friends who have children of their own - anything longer than one evening and they probably won't be able to come.

Then think about who is unemployed or doesn't earn much - if they are close friends it's only fair to plan the hen night so that they can afford it. If you want something swanky that they can't afford, then plan that they won't attend, or if they do, that they will be resentful about the cost and won't be relaxed.

Then think about how many of your friends are left once you have discounted the people above - are there still enough to have a mad weekend in Butlins? If so, go ahead, but give them a fixed price and tell them what it includes eg two nights, travel there and back, breakfast etc, and what isn't included eg drinks, fancy dress etc. Don't give a sliding price scale ("if everyone comes it will be £20", when really half of the people won't come and in reality it will turn out to be £200 as you will just have a bunch of resentful friends who have made the effort.

But if you think about all the above, and you only end up with two people who can and will realistically attend, if you want more people there then its time to scale your plans back to the real world to fit in with what everyone can do.

You'll have a much better night that way!

frannyann

Right, playing Devils Advocate here! Imagine this post:

OMG, help me! My hormonal pregnant mate is getting married. She wants to do this 'mad' weekend at Butlin, BUT I hate butlins. I keep putting off telling her I don't want to go and really can't afford it. I thought I was helping out by getting my own dress for the wedding (found it in the sales and saved a bomb:money:) Now this dress is not right but I can't take it back, however she did suggest she'd cover the butlins trip, but it seems not. So I have a dress I don't need and holiday I don't want and she seems unhappy at me
One of the other girls doesn't want to go either, she will have to get her mum to look after her kids and can't really afford either, and her mum is the battleaxe from hell and the kids don't like her!
I really don't want to hurt her feelings but she is going all 'bridezilla' on me and I don't know what to do!

floss2

frannyann wrote: »

Right, playing Devils Advocate here! Imagine this post:

:rotfl::rotfl:

It could so easily happen, if not on here then on another board!!