Falling apart

everything2me

I'm a regular poster here but felt I had to use a new username to post this.
Please bear with me, im a little lost,confused and well basically my life has come to a standstill. I haven't eaten since monday night, I feel so exhausted both physically and mentally with no one to talk to, its like im in meltdown.
This year...after years of being alone and losing the love of my life to a tragic accident a long time ago, I met someone who i fell in love with..all the feelings i had before came flooding back, he fell for me in a big way too,we became inseparable and had begun to plan a future together, we spent all our spare time together, we communicated everyday (as we live some miles apart)..soul mates..love of our lives...he's besotted with me as im besotted with him. Life was full...exciting..happy ...full of love and adoration and we held each others hands through life's obstacles.
However, I had a major worry in my life that i couldn't bring myself to tell him, I was that petrified of losing him..what he'd think of me..I didnt want to worry him or stress him out over it..I cared so much for him and loved him completely (still do)..I know I should have been open with him and the reasons i weren't were due to what i have just said ...misguided on my part I know.
He now knows, and he has taken things badly to say the least..I haven't been able to sit him down and talk to him about it...to be given the chance to work through it as we have done with things before, instead i've been told to give him time...that he cant give me any reassurances right now nor will he give me any negatives or any positives and that i'm to wait for him to think things through..to give him time...days he said. He said I should have gone to him with my problems..and now he thinks everything we have ever done together..our time together has been untrue, I felt at the time I couldn't go to him..he has so much on his plate I didn't want to be a problem to him and Its something I was highly embarrassed about that I thought he would think less of me. I know I went about things the wrong way, I cant talk to him ..i've been told to give him time to think..as much as I hold my phone hoping and praying he will contact me to work through the wrongs to make it right again ..I am met with silence and its tearing me apart. Hours are turning into days, we never went 1 day without speaking at length , It is so so hard to not be able to explain...to let him know..to let him listen to what I have to say and all the time there is this silence things aren't being worked through together.
Am i waiting in vain? I haven't called and respected his wishes..its agony, Im doing what is asked of me but it is so hard because we are yet to sit down and talk about..decisions cant be made until we do and im petrified he'll make a decision without talking to me.

tanith

Sorry you are feeling so lost, seems like you have managed to give him the space he asked for have you thought about writing a letter putting all your feelings and explanation down on paper, I would after a week or so send a text just simply saying Hi , are you ok? can we talk? and then leave it up to him to contact you.... good luck

moneysavermum_2

However, I had a major worry in my life that i couldn't bring myself to tell him

I have missed what it was you were worried about and i think you are best shut of him if he can only consider his own feelings......id pick yourself up and move on. :beer:

mrcow

Sorry - your post is very hard to read.

You've been with a guy?
And you've been keeping something from him?
And you've told him now?
And he's said that he needs time to think about it but he's not called you.

So what was the thing you had to tell him? Have you done something wrong?

Kimitatsu

Agree with Tanith if he has said he needs some space then give him some but after a week then make a step towards him - otherwise the gap may seem huge to him.

Blokes like to retreat to think about things where us girls like to talk

Errata

Do you trust him ? If you do, trust him and respect his wishes.

dogcat_2

Maybe you should tell us what the 'thing' was/is...otherwise it's hard for us to understand properly, how he must feel.

skiTTish

If the 'big worry' is something that will impact greatly on his future too (if you are to stay together ) then you need to give him time and understand although you may have no choice but to have this 'worry ' in you life ,he has
Give him time and if you are meant to be together you will be
Good luck x

WannaBeTeenager

send him a text just to let him know your still waiting, dont ask any questions nor expect any answers. just let him know that you are still thinking of him and that your not just enjoying your free time..

Minimum_Wage_2

Well, I have always believed and still do believe that if you love someone, set them free.
If they come back they’re yours, If they don’t they never were.

love is like sand, the more you try to tighten your grip. the more it will slip away at a greater rate and ultimately you will be left with nothing in your hands except a few grains in the form of memories.

i Set her free so that she could prove her love for me, to which i doubted very much and she only proved me right and has never come back! lol. Just goes to show you that you cant always believe what they are saying.

muppet83

love is like sand, the more you try to tighten your grip. the more it will slip away at a greater rate and ultimately you will be left with nothing in your hands except a few grains in the form of memories.

Aww, thats really pretty.

Maybe drop him a text just to say your missing him, but all you can do is give him time.
You've also got to look after yourself though. Not eating will only make you ill, how can you sort things out with him if you are tired and hungry.
Make yourself something nice to eat, have a glass of wine and maybe invite a friend over.

Your relationship sounds very intense, maybe you both need to use this time out to take a step back. Have a day off once in a while to see your mates, have some you time. No relationship can cope with the pressure of being the only ones in each others lives.
Try not to be so hard on yourself, take care and let us know how you get on. X